


The Canalized River

by susanna



Category: Naruto
Genre: 50000-100000 words, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-18
Updated: 2008-02-17
Packaged: 2017-10-02 20:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 71,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susanna/pseuds/susanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What never happens in the manga: Hebi revolt against Sasuke, Naruto rebels against his senseis, and Sasunaru of course.</p><p>(Well, two years later it seems not so unlikely any more that Hebi might revolt against Sasuke or that Naruto rebels against his senseis. Only concerning SasuNaru I am still pessimistic.)</p><p>Now with dashes and without weird question marks. Also I have deleted a lot of the notes that are now superfluous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mutiny

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer: **Naruto, his friends and the world he lives in don't belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto. I write this story only for my pleasure and I don't make any money with it.
> 
> **Dedication: **The story is dedicated to eowyn unquendor who has also beta-read it. Her encouragement, her thoughts on the story and her helping me with typos and style were helped me a lot to write such a long story in such a short time.
> 
> **Warnings: **I am not a native speaker. I have done my best, and eowyn unquendor, who has beta-read the story, has helped me a lot (thanks to her - maybe you can have a look at her stories) but she is not a native speaker either, so I guess that true native readers will read my story and think: Well, this is mostly correct English but no one talks like this.
> 
> If there are any native speakers who like the story well enough to beta-read it, I will very grateful.
> 
> All comments, positive or negative, constructive of destructive, are appreciated.
> 
> The story is complete except for some minor editing. I plan to upload one chapter a day.
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
> **A/N: **As with my previous fanfic, I chose a point of the canon and departed in a different direction. This time I chose chapter 368, and if you are very familiar with the manga or if you like stories that go medias in res, you may skip the rest of the introduction and go straight to the story itself.
> 
> For the rest of you some words about the situation where my story starts. (I have considered including the information into the story itself, but decided against it because most summaries of the original that I have found in fanfics feel rather awkward to me.)
> 
> After the fight against Deidara, Sasuke and his team set off to check the Akatsuki hideouts Juugo has learnt about from his birds. Even in the first one Sasuke finds a kagebunshin of Itachi, and not knowing that it's a kagebunshin, he attacks and defeats him. Dissolving, the kagebunshin invites him to meet him in the Uchiha hideout where they would „settle things".
> 
> At the same time Naruto and his team pursue Sasuke. They have already picked up his trail, but at one point it splits up because Juugo's bird have carried pieces of Sasuke's torn-up shirt into different directions in order to confuse the Leaf ninjas. Naruto sends his kagebunshin to look everywhere at once and in chapter 371 one of them meets Sasuke, which in the original sets the team back on track.
> 
> I wrote the story during the Pein-versus-Jiraya-arc. Now that this arc is luckily over, I can return to the original and look forward to the new events. I am just sad to leave „my" team Hebi...
> 
> I wish you fun with this story-

"We're moving! Follow me!"

Sasuke rushed out of the cave where he had just fought his brother's kagebunshin, trusting his crew to follow him. He heard their steps behind him, so he did not look back; only when he was some hundred meters from the cave's exit, he realized that he could no longer hear them. When he turned round, he saw that Juugo and Suigetsu were standing on the open place in front of the entrance, obviously waiting for Karin. Why was she lingering behind?

He waited as well, impatient and angry about their disobedience. He thought of shouting at them, but while this might have made Juugo and Suigetsu catch up with him, it would not make Karin go any faster. He was annoyed. If it had not been for her special chakra-sensing talent, he would never have put up with her.

Finally she came, a crow's feather in her hand, looking at it every now and then. She did not seem to notice Juugo or Suigetsu, but she saw Sasuke and went towards him, at the same, unnervingly slow pace, and the other two followed her. Sasuke waited until they had approached him to a distance of some ten metres and dashed ahead.

They did not go any faster, so after some time, when he cared to look back, he realized that he had to wait for them again.

After having played that game several times more he gave in. It had been a game for power, and he had lost, though he did not yet want to admit it.

"What's up? Did I not tell you to follow me?"

"You did", Suigetsu answered.

"So why don't you do it?"

"We are following you, aren't we?"

"At a rate of one millimetre per second. What are you thinking - if you think at all?"

"We do think. That's why we go slowly. It's you who does not think but rather rushes ahead."

The insult hurt. Sasuke had always considered himself someone who would think before acting. It had always been the dobe who would rush into a fight first and think later.

"There's not much to think in this case", he said. "I met Itachi's kagebunshin, and he told me to meet him Hideout of the Uchiha clan."

"Ah. And there is nothing to think about this?"

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Now you are at least beginning to think. What do you believe, if we go to that hiding place, what will happen there?"

"Itachi will be waiting for me. We will fight, and then we will see who of the two of us is now stronger than the other one."

"And when you have found out you will shake hands and part and look forward to the next fight. Still a Leaf Ninja, are you, believing in honorable fights to see who is stronger."

"No", Sasuke answered. "I won't shake his hand. I will kill him."

The words felt like a cold stone - the stone upon which he had built his life.

"And if you lose?"

"Then he will take my life. It will be the price I pay for being too weak."

"A fair fight, and at the end of it, one of you will die. So this is what you think will happen?"

"Yes", Sasuke answered, though now he strongly doubted it himself. "He told me to come alone", he continued.

"And you will obey him. What makes you so sure that he will be alone as well?"

"I don't care. I am strong enough. I am not a coward."

"But a fool, obviously."

Sasuke's pride was hurt again, as again he was reminded of how Naruto had always charged in without considering the odds or even the respective numbers of his side and the opponents'. He, Sasuke, would not do that.

"It's not just anyone you want to take out", Suigetsu went on. "It's Uchiha Itachi.

Sasuke was silent. He had been defeated.

"There's no need to hurry", Suigetsu said. "We will find a place for the night, where we can talk some more and come to a wise decision. Itachi won't mind if you kill him a day later."

When they travelled on, he was the slowest of the four of them.


	2. Pity

"It's safe, it's dry", Juugo said. "We can stay here."

They were standing at the bottom of an abandoned quarry, only partly yet reclaimed by nature. Birches had already grown to a height of two of even three meters, but they were still bare, and the ground was covered with grass and all kinds of bushes and low herbs, and now, in spring, with flowers.

Sasuke felt tired, or else he would not have noticed this. Both the encounter with his brother's kagebunshin and the discussion with Suigetsu had exhausted him, and he did not want to think anything this evening, neither about his brother or anything else. Just about these white flowers that seemed to be everywhere. They were pretty, he thought.

His crew collected firewood, got water from a small brook nearby, prepared the meal. His only contribution was to light the fire with his katon.

On other days he would help. Today they accepted his exhaustion as an excuse.

They did not talk while eating, but when they had finished, Suigetsu began to speak:

"We need to talk", he said. "We have enough of the way you lead the team, telling us off as if we were little children. We have given you proof of our loyalty more than once, and we have also shown that we are able to think for ourselves and come up with ideas of our own about how to further your plans."

"I have never doubted this", Sasuke answered, stupefied by the sudden accusations. "You were intelligent and resourceful when you gathered information about Akatsuki."

"Not only this. Karin also tore up your shirt in order to confuse the Leaf. I wonder whether you even noticed."

I did notice that she kept my ruined clothes, Sasuke thought.

"And she warned us when we were pursued by Konoha", Suigetsu continued, and Sasuke wondered when he had begun to speak of her in such a favorable way.

"Even though you had only told her to buy some provisions, nothing else. They would have found us long ago if she had obeyed you to the word. So don't tell us off again as you did today!"

"And another thing", Karin added. "Don't expect us to obey you when obeying would mean to let you get killed."

Sasuke swallowed. They had a point with their complaints: All three of them had been very loyal from the very beginning of the mission. And still he was angry: A crew that would rather disobey him than get him killed was not what he had been looking for when he had chosen his team. He had only wanted them to lend him their power, and let him be in control... he did not want any complications because his crew decided that it was necessary to discuss things.

I would not have had to leave Konoha for this, he thought.

"And now", Suigetsu continued, "we would like to know a bit more about your plans and motivations."

"You know them already: To hunt down and take out Uchiha Itachi."

"Well, yes. But you see, if we are to follow you and trust you, we have to know some more. We have to know why you have chosen that aim for yourself. Taking it for granted that you are not simply a great hero who has decided to free the world of some really bad guys: First Orochimaru, then this Deidara, and now Itachi."

"No", Sasuke replied. "The only person I really want to take out is Itachi. The others simply attacked me and got killed in the process. Besides, I did not kill Deidara. He killed himself with this suicide jutsu of his."

"Oh, I forgot. You are a Leaf ninja after all, who won't kill anyone."

"No, I am not. There is just no need for me to kill anyone besides Itachi."

"And why him, if I may ask?"

"He is my brother."

"Yes, this is quite a common reason for wanting to kill a man."

"He killed all my family, except me and himself of course. I want to take revenge for this."

The words felt strangely cold as he spoke them. They were the normal, common reasoning, the words he had told himself and others more than once in order to explain and justify his plans for revenge. They contained the moral he had been raised by, not only by his clan, when they were still alive, but also by his teachers and the other grown-ups of Konoha. They were the moral of the Leaf and of the entire Shinobi world (though of course his clan, being a clan of strong shinobi, had put more stress on this moral than the average person in Konoha): If one of your family, or your friends, or any other precious person gets killed, you have to avenge them and prove that it was just bad luck that had kept you from protecting them.

None of this had anything to do with the despair he had felt when Itachi had killed his family, nor with the hatred into which the despair had turned after some time, or the wild desire for revenge that was raving in his heart, and the idea (though he himself knew it to be irrational) that he would feel better when he had finally killed Itachi.

"I had guessed that he had done something terrible to you", Suigetsu said. "But I did not know that it was that bad. I am sorry."

"No need to be sorry."

"Why not? It did hurt - it was terrible."

"Of course it hurt - what do you think."

"Then why is there no need to be sorry?"

"Because I don't need anyone to be sorry. It was terrible for me - but I don't need anyone's pity. I am no child any more. I am a man, and I will take revenge."

"Taking revenge will not lessen your pain in any way."

"Do you try to tell me that I should abandon my plans for revenge?"

"No. I try to tell you that you can accept pity even if you have grown up to be a powerful great avenger."

"I don't need any pity. I have had enough of it to last me a lifetime, just after my parents' death."

Murder, he reminded himself. Back then everybody had avoided the word murder, not wanting to shock his tender, seven-year-old heart.

"They would pat my head and say 'poor boy' and treat me as if I were urgently in need of help, and sometimes they would make me talk about what happened, claiming it would help me, and interrupt me when they could not bear it any more and tell me to think of something nicer, happier. They would not understand what it really felt like. They were not able to."

He remembered now himself: How he had felt numb and shocked, not wanting to believe it, not wanting to feel the walls falling down on him, the earth opening beneath him, the world that had been firm and safe crumbling in front of his eyes, leaving him drifting on a wooden plank on the ocean. And still there had been another part of him that knew that everything was true, that his parents were really dead, a part of him that was even able to ask Itachi why he had done it and to listen to Itachi's answer.

Only then he had been overcome by pain, rage and despair; he had attacked Itachi, had been defeated and passed out. He had woken up, and his whole body had been in pain, not from his physical injury, but from the pain in his heart. Only slowly, when the plan for revenge was forming in his mind, the pain got less and he could think more clearly.

There it was again, his desire for revenge, burning hot as ever.

"No one can understand", he said. "No one who has not been through this as well."

"Ah", Suigetsu replied. "And you truly think that there's no one else in this world who has lost all his family?"

Sasuke's eyes met Suigetsu's: Waterblue, cold, clear, analytical - and still beneath the coldness was the knowledge about pain.

He looked at Karin, who for a change looked not seductive, but peaceful and friendly, and then at Juugo whose eyes had always been the same, full of trust and hope, simply because he had to cling to both in order not to despair.

Sasuke lowered his eyes.

"I am sorry", he said. "I did not know."

"You did not ask", Suigetsu answered.

"I know. I am sorry."

Juugo put his arm around his shoulder. "It's okay", he said.

"Poor boy", Suigetsu said, and Sasuke was too tired to be angry.


	3. Karin's Story

For a while they sat silent, each of them following their own trail of thought. Then Karin picked up her bag, searched it for some minutes and retrieved from it the feather she had found in the cave. It was no longer black and smooth, but crumpled and grey, and remained like this even though she tried to smoothen it out again, attaching each of the feather's tiny branches to its neighbours.

"I have been thinking about it all evening", she said. "Strange chakra and a raven's feathers. It were not only you and your brother's kagebunshin in that cave - that's why we came to look for you. Did you not notice anything?"

"No". Admittedly Sasuke had not paid attention to anything except Itachi.

"A raven perhaps?"

"There was one sitting on Itachi's shoulder. I thought it was part of the genjutsu he was attempting to catch me in. When the kagebunshin dissolved, it did so into a swarm of ravens."

"You don't get a real feather from a raven that has been part of a genjuttsu."

"No." Sasuke was still wondering what she was trying to tell him, and why this bird should be so important.

"I have met the raven before", she said. "I recognized his chakra. You know, the village I was born in got attacked and destroyed when I was nine years old..."

"I did not know. You never told."

Their eyes met, and for the first time since he had known her she did not hide her feelings behind a mask of cuteness, seductiveness or aggression. He recognized the pain in her eyes, normally stored away deep in her heart, as he had done with his own, and he felt pity for her.

"All the boys and men between fifteen and sixty got killed, and the women, children and old people were taken as slaves. I was the only one who escaped, because I had sensed the attackers' evil chakra and fled into the woods. I was still a child, not knowing about my talent, not knowing yet that what I sensed was people's chakra, but all the same, I did feel that something evil and dangerous was approaching. I did not tell my people because they had often made fun of my premonitions, and when they were assembled on the market place to be killed it was too late."

"Do you know whether they are still alive?" Sasuke asked.

"Who?"

"The women and children of your family."

"I don't think so", she answered. "I have never heard of them."

He realized that his words had touched a part of her soul that was still full of pain, pain she did not want to feel.

"I am sorry", he said. "I did not want to hurt you."

"It's okay", she answered, and he saw that she was indeed not angry with him, yet far from fine, as she claimed to be.

"I had to survive", she said. "Nobody would care for me, the people in my own village being dead and those in the neighbouring villages scared of the evil strangers and their revenge. Only Orochimaru, who saw my talent, would take me with him. He trained me as a medical ninja. What could I have done? I was still a child!"

The same thoughts that had haunted Sasuke for so long: I might have been in time. I might have been stronger. If had trained more, I might have been able to defeat Itachi.

"You can look for them now", he said.

"You forget that I agreed to go with you."

"We might help you find your family." After I have killed my brother he wanted to add, but he did not: The words felt cold on his tongue. Besides, he was not sure if that was really the right order to do things. His brother could wait.

"First Itachi", Karin said herself. "I am sorry, I did not want to burden you with this story. I have learnt to do fine by myself. I will stick to my promise and help you. You don't have to find my family for me."

Sasuke felt an urge to reach out to her and take her hands, but the memories of her attempts to molest him held him back. He was glad that Suigetsu touched her upper arm comfortingly.

"I just wanted to tell you about the raven", she continued.

"He is evil and dangerous, and his chakra is stronger than that of any person I have ever met, except you yourself. It's some ninja-raven, or a human being who has taken this form, or someone's kuchiyose no jutsu creature. Be aware of it."

"I will", Sasuke answered. "Yet at the moment I see no better way to find out more about it than to go and meet Itachi at the Uchiha hideout... It seems that the raven's connected to him."

"So it's settled", Suigetsu said, putting out the tiny camp fire. "We will go there and see that things don't go according to your brother's plans."


	4. Be Reasonable!

"What were you thinking?" Yamato asked. "If you were thinking at all."

"There was no time to think."

"Particularly if there is no time to think you should be careful not to do anything stupid."

"What was stupid about what I did?"

"Risking your life like this!"

"It were only my kagebunshin."

"Your true self went as well."

Naruto swallowed. It had been his true self after all that had met Itachi. He decided to be silent about it.

"You know the risk", Yamato continued. "You are in greater danger than any of us, even though you are stronger than most of your teammates. You are the jinchuuriki, so it is you they are after. We also have reason to believe that you are Itachi's personal target. You should be on your guard and not rush out as you did."

"How can I save Sasuke if I am afraid of Itachi?"

"How can you save him when you are dead? Stop acting the hero and begin to think!"

He left Naruto speechless and humiliated, all the more because he knew that Yamato had a point. Still he could not completely subdue his anger. He was fed up with having to be careful all the time, never moving too far away from the Jounin of the team, always remembering that he was the jinchuuriki, targeted by Akatsuki and in mortal danger if they ever found him.

Damn. As if he was a precious doll, not the strong shinobi he really was.

He went to Sakura to vent about his frustration.

"It's not your fault", she said. "But no one can help it. You are their target. Be reasonable!"

It was easy for her to say that: She was not in his place.

"Tsunade did what she could for you. The council would have preferred to have you stay in Konoha."

Be content with the constrictions imposed on you. They could be worse. Don't envy those who may enjoy their freedom.

Kakashi was not much better.

"I know it's not easy for you, but please keep in mind that we are doing our best: Be with you and give you the protection you need while trying to find Sasuke. It won't be forever. One day Akatsuki will be defeated. Just don't rush into action any more without consulting us, and most important of all, never again go anywhere without taking anyone with you."

I won't tell him that I met Itachi, Naruto thought. Just as little as I told Yamato.

He felt alone, separated from the rest of the team by a thick wall of glass. During recent years he had forgotten how it felt: Now, just when he had come to think that he had found himself friends, that his endeavors to make himself likeable had born him fruit, that he was now accepted and could say good-bye to his loneliness, it had returned, stronger and worse than ever.

Hinata felt that he was troubled. "We care for you", she said. „We want you to stay alive."

She meant well, but her words only made the wall grow higher.


	5. Be Cheerful!

The next day he did his best to calm down, to be friendly again, to be cheerful, reasonable and controlled. He had never considered himnself a controlled person, and others probably would have called him extremely rash and impulsive, but now he realized that for all his life, even before he had known of its existence, he had been keeping the kyuubi in check.

A large portion of his chakra had always been reserved for this purpose, and for this reason he had been able to use so little of it, failing the final exam of the ninja academy year after year.

Anger rolled up in him: They could have made allowances for him. They could have taken into consideration that he had to use his chakra for the kyuubi and that this was an enormous feat in itself, greater than the petty ninjutsus performed by his classmates when they passed the exam. They could have been grateful to him for bearing the kyuubi inside him and keeping the village safe. Instead they had just been glad that it had been sealed into someone else and happily feared and despised him, forgetting that he was a human being with feelings as themselves.

"Why do you care about them?" he heard the kyuubi's voice inside him. "Why not simply have done with them?"

"Get off!" Naruto shouted in answer. "I don't need you! I don't want you!"

He had to keep his anger in check. The kyuubi must not get loose again, whatever price he had to pay. He had to keep his teammates safe.

He might curse his fate, but he had to bear it, and not be angry at the people who had put it on his shoulders. It had been necessary, someone had had to take the kyuubi, he should be proud that it was him, and rather pity than curse the people who did not understand that he was sacrificing himself for them. He should get a grip on himself, be friendly and cheerful and loyal again, do his best to win his teammates' friendship and recognition.

Damn. He had been so near. He had thought that at least the people who knew him personally had come to like him. He had thought that at least they now saw him as a person, as a strong, courageous fighter, never hesitating to lay down his life to save them: But even they only saw him as the demon vessel that had to be taken care of.

"What's the matter with you?" Hinata asked. She was teamed up with him again, together with Yamato and the calf-sized ninja-dog. "You are both restless and silent. I would never have thought that both can go together."

"I would not have thought it either", he answered. "I am sorry. I will try to do better."

"No, no", she replied. "You don't have to be sorry. I am sorry. I know you are worried because you are in danger. But the Akatsuki won't get you: We will break them up, and then everything will be fine again."

She reached out to him and tentatively touched the tips of his fingers with her own.

Things must have gone pretty far downhill, Naruto thought, if Hinata among all people is trying to comfort me.

"Don't worry about me", he said. "I am Uzumaki Naruto: Unstoppable and unpredictable."

She blushed and looked away: Contrary to him she was very predictable.

By now he had understood the meaning of her behaviour. Sometimes he thought about just taking her into his arms and then kissing her on her cheeks and perhaps on her mouth. Sometimes he daydreamt about it, and in these dreams either he or she herself opened her anorak and the tunique she wore below, and then he would take her big round breasts out of her bra, and would caress and kiss them... There his dreams normally ended. He was not sure whether he really liked such big breasts, and besides, he was still in love with Sakura, so why dream of Hinata? Just because it would be easy to get her laid? He would get no satisfaction out of it, he wanted a partner whose heart was difficult to win, so that he had something to be proud out, someone whose recognition he would value.

"Concentrate!" Yamato said. He was some metres ahead of them. "You are on a mission, not on a date."

Unpredictable and unstoppable. No opponent had ever managed to intimidate or discourage him. Only his teachers now did.

In the evening one of his kagebunshin dissolved, and in dissolving his knowledge became Naruto's. There was a cave nearby, its floor covered with crow's feathers. Naruto associated crows and ravens - he had never got the hang of telling the two apart - with Itachi, who had used them twice in genjutsus against him. The kagebunshin had picked up one of the feathers, not knowing that it was only a kabebunshin and would never be able to bring it back to Naruto, then it had left the cave and seen the raven sitting outside on a huge oak tree, watching him. It had a Sharingan.

The shadow clone had vanished immediately. It did not want to attract the raven's attention.

He did not tell anyone about it, for fear of being told off again.

"You are so thoughtful today", Sakura said when they were rolling out their sleeping-bags before going to sleep.

"Yeah, guess so", he answered. "Don't worry!"

"You'll see, soon again when we have taken out Akatsuki, everything will be fine", she said.


	6. On the Question of Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Violence, not very graphic, but cold and disturbing.

"Naruto", Sasuke answered. "It's his signature move." As if he needed one, he thought.

"You know him? A leaf ninja?"

"A former teammate of mine."

"A friend?"

Suigetsu knew which questions Sasuke did not want to answer.

"Yes", he said after some hesitation. "He used to be my friend."

"And now?"

Sasuke swallowed. "I guess he still considers himself my friend, which is why he keeps going after me. He does not know when to give up."

"Do you want him to give up?"

"He is making things complicated."

Suigetsu did not continue the subject any further, as they had to concentrate on travelling, but he took it up again when they had found themselves a place for the night and were eating their meal.

"So that Naruto guy is still considering you a friend and wants you back again. You know, this does come as a surprise to me. I had thought that the Leaf were our enemies, just as Akatsuki."

"Not in the same way", Sasuke replied. "I don't hate them as I hate Itachi. I don't want to kill them, nor do I think that they intend to kill me. But I'd prefer not to be captured and taken back to Konoha."

"Why would they do that?"

"To save me from Orochimaru."

"From Orochimaru? They are really not up to date, are they?"

"I have wondered myself. At least they are not looking for me in any of his lairs. Maybe they have difficulties switching ideas and understanding that things are now a bit different than three years ago."

"They have been trying to rescue you for three years?"

"Yes. I was still a child back then." For the first time he looked at his flight from Konoha from the others' point of view. "They did not want me to go to Orochimaru. They thought that he would take over my body. Or that I might turn evil."

"You must admit that it was a bit risky."

Sasuke shrugged. "I knew what I was doing. I was not stupid, not even as a child, and I was not suicidal. I was not like Kimimaro who would have been proud to give his body to Orochimaru. I don't live for another person."

"Of course not. You are living for your murdered family."

"Whatever. Even when I left Konoha I had some ideas, and during my first months at Orochimaru's lair I made my plan. I deceived him, bided my time, struck when he was weakest."

"Yeah, we know that part of the story. But what I still don't understand... I mean, I understand that they wanted to rescue you while you were in Orochimaru's hands, but now - why do they still want to capture you and take you back to Konoha? They are your friends after all, they might support you in your search for Itachi! Then you would not have had to form a team of complete strangers."

"They don't believe in revenge in Konoha."

He heard Suigetsu gasp. Karin and Juugo as well held their breath.

"Excuse me", Suigetsu said when he could speak again. "What did you just say?"

"They don't believe in revenge in Konoha. Kakashi tried to talk me out of it. He told me that after having had my revenge my life would be empty again."

"Guess he was speaking from experience. Maybe one day you should travel to Earth country and ask people what they think about the subject of Kakashi and revenge."

"You might as well know that this war had been begun by the Fire Country", Karin said. "It was begun in retaliation for the war before, which had been lost by the Fire Country. But that war as well had been begun by the Fire Country, as a punishment for something else, which I don't remember."

"I grew up in Earth Country, in a part that was occupied for some time during that war", Juugo said. "Not in my village, but in the one next to it there was an assault by some guerilla fighters on the quarters of the ninjas from Fire Country. One of the generals got killed. They could not get the partisans of course, because they were well hidden in the mountains, but they suspected that they were supported by the villagers, so all the men of the village were told to gather in the marketplace where they had to stand in a long line, and one of the Leaf's officers walked along the line, counted to ten, and then to ten again, and thus every tenth man was killed in retribution for that general."

"So don't talk again about Konoha not believing in revenge", Suigetsu said. "I know, they have high ideals in Fire Country, thinking that they are better than other people, but so far I have known just one Leaf Ninja who really believes in these self-proclaimed ideals and even acts according to them, and that's you yourself."

"I don't have any ideals", Sasuke said. "I want to kill Itachi, that 's all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the stories that are told by Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo. Most of all I have no idea what Kakashi did after Obito was killed in the war against Earth Country.
> 
> What I have _not_ made up: Revenge is part of the moral code (or code of honor) of Konoha. Even Shikamaru avenges Asuma.
> 
> I don't read horror stories. I get my inspiration from newspapers and history books, which means that my horror stories are worse than what you normally get in fiction.


	7. It's about the Uchiha Boy

Again Naruto did not tell anyone that his last kagebunshin had vanished, nor what it had seen. He did not want to admit that in spite of his Jounins' admonitions there had still been some of his shadow clones around.

They had returned to scanning the area in teams, that is, everyone would be teamed with one or two dogs, except for Naruto, who was again with Yamato and Hinata, because he was the Jinchuuriki and had to be protected.

It was all so useless. He knew where they had to go, but he could not tell. All that remained to him was trying to point them gently to the correct direction: "I think it is a good idea to look a bit further to the right!" or "I have a gut feeling that we should go South!"

Yamato did not give in, however, but insisted on scanning the area systematically as Kakashi had instructed them, and not go straight into one direction.

Hinata could sense chakra, and the dog should have picked up Sasuke's scent by now, but neither of them spoke, and Naruto did not dare ask them.

In the evening he confided in Sakura.

"You know, some of my kagebunshin have been around until today."

"What? Did our senseis not tell you that this is far too dangerous?"

"They were around anyway, so why should I dissolve them? And, what I wanted to say, the last one found Sasuke."

"He did?"

"Yes."

"So why did you not tell?"

"Because I don't want another lecture."

"But this is important!"

"Maybe. For me it is. But is it for them?"

"It is! How can you doubt it?"

"All this meaningless, thoughtless scanning of the area: check every inch of the Fire Country, until we have found a trace of him, and if we don't find him here, then go to the Wind Country, or to the Earth Country, and continue the search in the same systematic, mindless way. Even if we were looking for a corpse, this would be really slow, but Kakashi calls it a plan. We are ninjas, for hell's sake."

"What would you have done?"

"I would have looked for information! Gone to the towns and listened to rumors! That's how Jiraya does his spying. Sasuke has not tried to hide the fact that he has killed Orochimaru! He is not trying to keep himself hidden! And even if it is impossible to find any information about him, we might find some about Itachi. He's a member of Akatsuki - there have to be some rumours about him. Why haven't we tried to infiltrate the bounty stations?"

"I don't know. Listen, you should speak with Kakashi-sensei about this."

Naruto shook his head. "No. We have been extremely fortunate that we have found him even once - and now, instead of trying to pick up the trail that we have lost we are returning to our former stupid way of looking for him!"

Only while he was speaking he got aware of the full extent of what he was saying.

"And why did you tell me about all this?" Sakura asked. "What do you want me to do?"

"You are on your own! The dogs won't ask any questions if you tell them to go South. Maybe you are lucky and find his scent again."

"I will try", she answered.

They were not lucky. Sakura did not even get the opportunity to go and look for Sasuke. Instead their Jounins told them that they were to interrupt their search and stock up their supplies in the next town. It turned out, however, that the true purpose of this detour was that Kakashi and Yamato wanted to meet their contactpersons while the young people did the necessary shopping.

When in the evening they assembled in the backroom of the inn where they were staying Kakashi had some announcements for them.

"Jiraya is in mortal danger. Tsunade has written that he has gone to the rain country to confront the leader of Akatsuki. He insisted on going alone, as he, one of the legendary Sannin, was the only one who could take the risk. She gave in, but after he left she got worried, and now she is sending us, together with several other teams, to back him up."

They were silent. Naruto was the first to speak.

"So, what about our search for Sasuke?"

"We will have to give it up. At least for the moment."

"You don't mean that!"

"I do. You heard it yourself: It's an order from Tsunade."

"Meaning?"

"That we have no choice. We are Ninja, we serve Konoha and the Hokage, and this has to take priority over all our personal aims. We must obey."

"But you promised me... you promised me that this time we would bring him back."

"Don't be childish. I have certainly never promised it. No one should promise such a thing. One can only promise to try."

"But we are not even trying any more!"

"You heard it: It's an order", Yamato intervened. "No arguing any more."

The boys had made a habit of visiting the girls in their room when they were not camping outside but staying in some inn. Their senseis turned a blind eye to it, knowing that besides being elite ninjas they were still teenagers. They knew as well that not much happened during these visits, except for some dirty jokes, some flirting and, if the boys were extremely lucky, for some hugs from Sakura - in friendship of course; her heart still belonged to Sasuke.

This time however, when Kiba and Shino had already gone back to their own room, Naruto stayed behind, pretending he had to follow a call of nature. Then he returned to the girls' room.

"What's the matter?" Sakura asked.

"I want to talk."

"Now?"

"Yes. - I am all confused. I feel dead and numb inside, and at the same time restless and upset."

"What about?"

"Sasuke of course. Abandoning our search."

"You heard it. It's an order from Tsunade. We cannot do anything about it."

"But - how can we give it up?"

"We have to."

"Don't you long for him any more? What about the promise we made to each other?"

"We will find him and get him back. Just not now. Helping Jiraya is more important. Don't you care for him?"

"I do."

"He's in more immediate danger than Sasuke. We will continue our search and bring him back another time."

"Yes", Naruto answered. "I will go and try to sleep now."

"Have a good night!" Sakura said, reaching out to pat his hair. "We will help Jiraya and then we will retrieve Sasuke."

Naruto took a deep breath after having shut the door to the girls' bedroom. It had been a mistake.

In his daydreams about Sakura, in the evenings before falling asleep, she was all sweet and tender and understanding and wise. She would listen to him when he tried to explain his chaotic thoughts and feelings, she would help him find clarity and come to wise decisions, and after talking, she would draw him into her arms and kiss him gently and caress his hair and then his cheeks and his neck and his collarbone, slowly opening his sweater... He did not dare to dream of her breasts, as he dreamt of Hinata's.

But neither did he dream of her repeating the exact words of their Jounins when he came to her for advice.

Be rational, be sensible. He knew he had to, and still - even thinking of abandoning their search for Sasuke caused him pain, a pain as intense as if it had been a real, physical pain.

He found himself outside the kyuubi's cage.

"Long time no see", the demon-fox said.

Indeed they had not seen each other after the encounter with Sasuke in Orochimaru's lair. There he had decided not to see the nine-tail again, but to rely only on his own strength.

"So what is it this time? Who is causing you pain? Whom shall I kill?"

"No one. I am not in danger. I don't need you. Go away."

"But you are hurting all over."

"It's not the kind of wound that you can heal with your chakra."

"Indeed not. If you are going to rip out your own heart, no amount of chakra can make it grow back again. However, I can tell you that it hurts only for one moment, and after that, you will no longer feel any pain at all."

Naruto did not answer. He wondered what the Kyuubi was trying to tell him.

"It's about the Uchiha boy, isn't it?" the demon-fox broke the silence.

"How do you know?"

"It's not that difficult. I live inside you, remember?"

Naruto sighed. There was no privacy with the nine-tail inside him.

"I warned the Uchiha boy, and I warn you as well: Don't rip out your own heart!"

Cage and demon vanished, and Naruto was back again in front of the girls' bedroom. The kyuubi's words resounded in his head: "It's about the Uchiha boy, isn't it?"

How many times had he spoken like this to Rock Lee, when he seemed in a dark mood: "It's about Sakura?" or to Shikamaru when he was nervous and fidgeting: "It's about Temari?" or to Choji when he was trying to bury his sorrows under a heap of food: "It's about Ino, isn't it?"


	8. Dreams of True Love

Finally Naruto made up his mind to go to Kakashi and talk to him. He found him in his room, lying on his bed, reading one of Jiraya's erotic romances.

"What's the matter?" he asked when Naruto entered.

Naruto stared at Kakashi and his book and forgot his original purpose. "Would you lend me one of your Icha-Icha-books?" he asked instead.

"I thought you did not like them."

"I have tried the third volume when I was thirteen. I did not like it then, but maybe I was indeed a bit too young. I would like to give it another try."

"Ah, the third volume. That would be the one where in the second chapter the hero's love interest gets licked off by the villain and enjoys it immensely. It was quite graphic, as I remember."

Naruto remembered himself: the scene had made him put down the book in horror and disgust.

"I think I have the first volume with me somewhere."

Kakashi stood up to rummage in his backpack for it. Naruto watched him.

"Why do you love these books so much?" he asked. "Is it only for the sex?"

Kakashi stopped in his search. He was struggling for words, and Naruto realized that he had managed to embarrass his sensei. He wondered why - after all, Kakashi had never had any issues about reading this book in public, shocking both his students and his fellow teachers. Actually talking about his fascination seemed more difficult.

"Well, I admit that I enjoy the graphic scenes", he finally said. "But that's not the main point. There are other writers who get them better than Jiraya does."

"I can imagine", Naruto replied. "The way he is sneaking on naked women, and how he gets upset every time I use my sexy no jutsu... One should not expect that from a grown-up, experienced man of fifty years."

"Strange as it may seem to you now, Naruto, we remain men even when we grow up."

"Yeah, of course, but - you know, Kiba and Shino and Choji and me: we always think about sex, and we keep talking about it and sharing pictures of naked women. But I would have imagined that this stops when we actually had found girlfriends for ourselves and got some first-hand experiences..."

Kakashi thought a bit before he answered. "Partly it does."

"Well, but what I want to say, Jiraya - I mean, I have been training with him for three years, and he never had a girlfriend - only every now and then he picked up a woman at a bar to have sex with her: One night, or maybe two or three, but never more. And always he paid her: Normally not with money, but with a candlelight dinner at some expensive restaurant, or some glasses of champagne, and sometimes with a copy of his newest novel with an autograph. How can he write about sex, or about love?"

"Now, these are two questions, so they need two answers. The first is that he does know about sex, perhaps more than a man who got married at the age of eighteen and had no sex with any other woman than his wife and knows nothing but their own marital routine. The answer to the second question is that he has been in love with Tsunade for all his life, while she has only seen him as a good friend. When he writes, he writes about his longing for her, and about his dreams of fulfillment. He does not write about being too tired for sex after a day full of work, or sex that gets boring when the first enchantment has worn off. In his novels, sex is the happy ending to a wonderful love story, not something that happens in a long-term relationship. His books are not realistic."

"And still you read them."

"Yes. One needs to dream."

"You do? I thought you were an elite ninja?"

"Do you think that elite ninjas have no right to dream about meeting the right person and finally finding true love and happiness? - But if you want my advice: Don't make the same mistake as Jiraya. Don't wait for Sakura to stop dreaming of Sasuke. Stop dreaming yourself. You'll never be able to compete with him, not because you are the lesser man, but because no one can compete with a dream. Take Hinata instead."

"I won't. I am not in love with her." Naruto flatly replied.

He took the book Kakashi held out for him. The mentioning of Sasuke had brought the original purpose of this late-night visit to his sensei back to his mind.

"I had thought that we were going to retrieve Sasuke so that he won't remain a dream."

"And so that Sakura may see that you are far better than the real Sasuke. Forget it, he will remain a dream as long as he does not return her love."

Naruto did not go along with Kakashi's jesting tone. "It's not about Sakura. It's about me wanting to save my best friend."

"He does not need to be saved at the moment. Jiraya does."

"That's not the point. I had believed that our mission was to save Sasuke, or to capture Itachi so that he might make Sasuke return to us. Why has it changed now?"

"You heard it: Jiraya is in danger."

"That's not the point. We haven't been too eager to find him from the beginning. First we searched for him in a systematic but stupid manner, and then, when he is near and when it would be time to act quickly, I get told off for using my kagebunshin."

"It really was too dangerous."

"That's not the point."

"So what, in your opinion, is the point?"

"What was the real purpose of this mission? It was not finding Sasuke, I assume."

Kakashi straightened up. "Maybe I should be honest with you."

"Indeed you should."

"Okay, if you truly want to know: Our real mission was to keep you occupied and content and far from Konoha in case the kyuubi got out of control."

"Even though I am targeted by Akatsuki?"

"Because you are targeted by Akastuki. We don't want them to attack you in Konoha."

"And two teams, among them two of the strongest jounin of Konoha, have been sent on a mission with no other purpose than to keep an eye on me."

"And on what is inside you. The council wanted you to be far away from Konoha, but they do care about you. They wanted to give you the best protection from Akatsuki and the kyuubi you could get."

"I should feel honored, I suppose."

"If you wish. Though it is not only about you, but also about the kyuubi. Nobody wants it to fall into the hands of Akatsuki."

"And now there is something more important, and we will go and save Jiraya."

"Exactly. We think we can protect you on that mission. - Naruto, listen, I feel sorry, I wish that I had not had to tell you that."

"Never mind. I am glad that I finally know the truth."

On his way to the room he shared with Shino and Kiba he was tempted to visit the kyuubi again. Of all those he had talked to that evening, the nine-tail had been the most understanding. And still he did not trust it enough to confide in it again.

Opening the door he felt his knees tremble: His world, the world of relationships and friendships he had built during the recent years was falling apart. He got a grip on himself, managed to go the three steps to his bed, crawl into it and fall asleep.


	9. Only Some Old Legends

Leaving Suigetsu and Juugo to set up their camp, Sasuke had taken Karin with him to a nearby hill to look whether someone was near.

Ten days ago he would have avoided at all costs to be alone with her, but now he did not mind any longer. She had changed, he thought. She had become more silent, less impulsive, more sensitive, less annoying, and sometimes even agreeable. She had ceased to attempt to seduce him whenever she saw an opportunity, or to molest him, as he preferred to call it.

He had always hated it, not only with Karin, but also with Sakura or Ino. He had always wondered why they would continue to try and touch and embrace him, though he never responded to it, or encouraged them in any other way. Sakura had never got that he was not interested in her as a girlfriend and that he did not enjoy her embraces, Ino had never got it, and Karin had not got it even though he had told her explicitly and repeatedly to leave him alone.

Completely insensitive, all of them, but they would claim that he was the one without any social or emotional intelligence. (He never remembered the correct term.)

"You just have to allow yourself to be loved", they would say. "You just have to open up to other people and overcome your fear of intimacy."

Now at least Karin had understood... Sometimes he thought that he saw glimpses of vulnerability in her, a vulnerability that she normally kept hidden below the surface of a tough woman who knows what and whom she wants. In such moments he thought he might like her. He had even got the impression that Suigetsu had become more polite to her than he had been before.

While he had been thinking, Karin had performed her jutsu that pushed her sense for chakra, much above the average even without the jutsu, to its highest level. He looked at her intently, waiting for her to announce what she had sensed. But when she turned to him, she did not even have to speak.

"Nothing", he said.

"Indeed, nothing", she answered, sounding irritated. „Disappointed?"

"A bit."

He was not sure when and how he had betrayed his feelings. He knew what he was supposed to feel: Relief that they were not pursued any more, and he was of course relieved, but there was something else as well. He had to come to rely on Naruto's unshakable friendship. He had to come to rely on the fact that Naruto would not stop pursuing him, no matter what he did. Maybe he should not have punched his shoulder with the chidori. Maybe even with Naruto there was a point beyond which he should not go. Maybe when he kept hurting him and pushing him away, one day Naruto would give up on him.

He was a nuisance anyway, he tried to convince himself. And yet he could not avoid stiffening and freezing at the thought of losing him completely. He felt his heart ache, as if something was torn out of it: A source of warmth that he had always kept there, tiny as it were. A source of warmth that had had helped him to survive the years at Orochimaru's place, that had helped him to live there and remain human and not become all cynical. Without it he felt that he would really become the fighting-machine he pretended he was. Without it, after he had killed Itachi, there would really be nothing left for him than to die himself.

"No trace of your brother", Karin continued.

He had misunderstood her. But Itachi was not what was really on his mind now. He knew where to find him.

"What about Konoha?" he asked.

"Nothing either. She smiled at him knowingly. So now he had really managed to betray himself.

"Are you sure?" he asked, not caring whether he gave himself away even more.

"Yes. Your friend's chakra is very strong and rather peculiar, and as if this was not enough, there is another kind of chakra hidden below it. Most of the time it is covered by his own chakra, but sometimes it leaks out."

"That would be the chakra of the demon fox."

"The demon fox?"

"The nine-tail. It lives inside Naruto, and he can use his chakra. I understood about it only a few months ago."

They had descended from the hill now and were heading towards their camp.

"I have always thought that it was only a legend. My grandmother used to tell me stories about it when I was a child."

"In Konoha it is not legend, but history. It assisted at the foundation of the village. Nowadays, however, the story is kept secret."

He had only learnt about it when he had followed Itachi's directions and gone to the secret hiding-place of the Uchiha clan and read about the original purpose of the Sharingan.

They had arrived at the camp and sat down with Juugo and Suigetsu.

"Nothing", he told the two of them. "No traces of Itachi, no traces of Konoha."

"So they have given up on you", Suigetsu said. Sasuke hated how he seemed to be able to see through him.

Karin was in thoughts.

"His friend's a jinchuuriki, you know?", she informed the other two.

"What's that?" Suitgetsu asked.

"The nine-tailed demon fox is living inside him", Sasuke explained.

"He is a being from old legends", Karin explained further. "My grandmother told me about it, and I still cannot believe that her stories might be true. She knew a lot of them, and those about the demon fox all ran along the same lines: Some person, or some town or village would make a deal with the demon, so that it would support them with its superhuman strength, either in battle or in some great task that was beyond their own capacity: building a bridge from one mountain top to the next one to impress their neighbours, raising a castle in one night because their crazy prince demanded it, or making a ship go through a tornado because they were too proud and too impatient to wait for the storm to calm down. The demon would help, but it would also ask a price: A human soul. Sometimes a grown up, normally the leader who was the driving force behind the crazy endeavour, would offer to sacrifice himself, but in other stories they promised a newborn infant. In most stories they chose a child no one much cared about because it was an orphan or because its mother or even both parents only saw it as a burden, be it because it was born out of wedlock, or because they were simply too poor or too uncaring to want to feed another hungry mouth.

"So the person who had sacrificed himself or who had been sacrificed would act as a medium for the demon, channeling its enormous power and thus aiding his town, but when the task was done, the demon would inevitably claim its price: The jinchuuriki's soul."

"So what would that mean?" Sasuke asked.

He felt uncomfortable: For Karin these were stories she loved to listen to without really believing in them, but for him the kyuubi was real, a part of his village's history, a part of his clan's history and, because of Naruto, a part of his personal history. He tried to fit what he knew about Naruto into Karin's story, but having no memories of the kyuubi's attack on Konoha when he was a few months old, and never having been told anything about it because of the taboo imposed on that story by the Sandaime, he knew too little about it to make any sense.

"Death, Madness, eternal damnation", Karin answered to his question. "My grandmother never went into details."

"Worried about your friend?" Suigetsu said.

"Yes." This time Sasuke did not care to hide his feelings behind the words "a bit".

"He's your age, isn't he?" Karin asked. "Then there should still be a lot of time left. In the stories the demon rarely claimed its price before the jinchuuriki was in his thirties or even forties."

"But what then? Is there a possible reversal?"

"Most stories my grandmother told ended tragically. The jinchuuriki who had offered himself as a grownup would have to die, or lose control over the demon and become a ghost without a body. The jinchuuriki who had been sacrificed as a child would go crazy and turn on his own village. They were moral stories, and their moral was that you should not make a pact with a demon to achieve what humans are not meant to achieve...

"Yet there were some stories where the villagers, or the jinchuuriki himself would manage to outwit the demon. I particularly loved one where the demon's task was to build a dyke that would run exactly on the coastline and protect all the land. The demon did so, but when he had finished, people pointed out to him that there was still land outside the dyke. It was new land; sand that had been carried to the shore by the sea and had already been settled by the first plants, but the demon did not know that, so he admitted that he had got it wrong and built another dyke. But the same happened with this new dyke, so that he had to build a third one, and so forth, gaining more and more land for the villagers and never realizing how they were making a fool of him. The demon, though cunning, is not very intelligent after all. In the end the jinchuuriki died from old age when he was ninety, and the demon had to leave without its price.

"But don't forget that these are only stories. There may be a true core to some of them, but they are not meant as a manual on how to get rid of demons. You'll have to work out yourself how you can help your friend."

Sasuke had indeed been thinking about this, but when Karin mentioned it explicitly, he shook off the thought.

"Itachi comes first."

But when all this would be over... in his dreams, if he had been alive at all after killing Itachi, there had been Naruto, waiting for him, returning with him to Konoha. Now another dream appeared on the horizon: Naruto was waiting for him, and he, Sasuke helped him to get rid of the demon, showing him that he was his friend after all, that he cared for him and was worth his perseverance.

Only that Naruto seemed to have abandoned his pursuit. Why would the only person whom he wanted not to give up on him turn away?


	10. Single-Handed Rasengan

Naruto had given in and agreed to go to the Rain Country. What else could he have done?

He tried to shut away all thoughts of bitterness, he tried not to think of his dream to find Sasuke, he tried to be his usual self, cheerful and extrovert, and not to let anyone know how he felt disappointed and betrayed.

I was not betrayed, he told himself. They mean well. They have good reasons for abandoning the search for Sasuke and instead going to help Jiraya.

If not the mere thought of giving up Sasuke would make his heart hurt and make him feel all dark and empty inside.

It was as if he was divided into two parts: One that talked to the others and smiled and gave Hinata a hand when she was falling behind, and another one that thought of Sasuke and tried to cope with the fact that he had been lied to. And maybe there was even a third part, watching the other two. It was just as with the Rasengan or the Futon Shuriken which he created with the help of his kagebunshin, one emitting the chakra, one doing the form manipulation, one doing the chakra nature manipulation, only that this time he did not need to create any actual bunshins.

Maybe he would be able to learn to do his jutsu without kagebunshin as well... now, that was a hopeful thought at last - only that he had been forbidden to use his jutsu at all.

At least his strategy of dividing himself into three parts seemed to work: None of his teammates noticed any change. And he was lucky as well: Most of the time they were travelling, and he did not have to talk much.

Only once he missed a branch and fell.

"Are you hurt?" Sakura asked, dropping down beside him immediately.

"Not much", he answered. "Just some scratches."

He could already feel the kyuubi's chakra healing them, but he was reluctant to tell her about it. He felt insecure about what people might think if they heard that he was still using the demon fox's power.

Something else worried him far more than his fall from a few metres' height: Again he had seen the raven with the Sharingan. In fact it had been the raven, and not simple lack of concentration that had caused him to miss a branch.

It has found me, he realized.

"Everything okay?" Sakura asked helping him to get up. "I mean, it's not normal for you to fall down when we are travelling like this."

"Yeah, don't you see, I'm strong and healthy as ever!"

He smiled, but the smile was not reflected on her face. He could see her concern.

"Why, I dropped my concentration for one moment, that's all!" he said.

She did not seem satisfied with this explanation, but she did not ask any more questions.

Nothing more happened during the day, but in the evening he saw the raven again. This time he pointed it out to Sakura who was sitting next to him.

"What's the matter? It's a crow, so what? There are a lot of crows in this area."

"It's too big for a crow! And look at its strong beak: It's a raven."

"It cannot be! We don't have any ravens here."

"That's what I mean."

Sakura did not seem to understand.

"It's not a normal raven. It's got a Sharingan eye."

Though of course at that very moment it was not activated.

"I don't see anything."

"Not now... but sometimes."

"You mean - Sasuke?"

"No - Itachi."

Again her eyes said clearly that she did not understand.

"When he caught me in his genjutsu - he did so twice, you know, once when you and Chiyo had to rescue me, the other time was..." He could not tell, because it had happened when his kagebunshin had spread out, looking for Sasuke and meeting Itachi. He did not want Sakura to tell him that his senseis had been right and that it had been too dangerous indeed.

"Never mind. There have been ravens around when I got caught. They were the creepiest thing of the whole genjutsu, attacking me from above. They seem to belong to him. I wonder whether he can change his form."

"Don't be ridiculous! Ninjas cannot do that! There's never been a ninjutsu like this!"

"I can change my form. I can become the demon fox."

"That's not changing form. That's letting the kyuubi take over and allowing him to transform you. Changing form would mean that you remain in control. - It might be a ninja-raven, or a summon of his", she continued their original subject.

"Maybe. But how would it get the Sharingan?"

"I am still not convinced that it has it at all", Sakura replied. "It might still be a normal raven, or a crow."

Naruto resolved to remain on the lookout, but not talk about it any more. Sakura joined the general conversation, while he kept silent, following his own trail of thought. Later he withdrew physically as well to attempt whether his idea about creating his jutsu without kagebunshin would work. After some time Sakura came looking for him.

"Naruto! What are you doing? Why are you alone! You know it's dangerous!"

"I have been training! I wanted to try something!"

"Training? What are you training? Why can't you train in the camp?"

He showed her how he did the Rasengan with a single hand.

"That's all? I have seen it a lot of times."

"I can do it without kagebunshin now. I can concentrate now on two things at once."

"Oh, you finally got it. Sorry, I mean - "she tried to smile. "I mean, for you it's really a great achievement. You have really got much better since the time when you were dead last."

Yeah, he remembered. Concentration and chakra-control had always come easily to her.

"Come back now", she said. "You know now how to form the Rasengan in one hand, so there's no need to stay here any longer. Or did you want to try that other Jutsu of yours? You know that it's too dangerous."

Naruto had not planned to attempt it, but Sakura's admonitions made him angry.

"Don't keep telling me! I can decide for myself!"

"You cannot! You don't know what's happening to your body! Do you want to lose your ability to gather chakra in your hands? Come back now, or I will tell our senseis!"

He lowered his head and followed her: The threat had worked. After some time she turned her head and smiled.

"I know you don't like it, taking care and everything. But you must understand me: I don't want to lose you as well."

She reached out to touch his arm comfortingly. A week ago this display of tenderness and concern would have made him happy beyond words and let him stay awake all night. Now his heart remained cold, and he wished that she had not touched him at all.


	11. The Raven Reveals Itself

The next day Naruto did not take any effort to pretend to be cheerful and hopeful. He rather kept to himself while they were travelling and joined the rest of the team only during their breaks. He was still able to act his usual self when it was for half an hour or even a full hour, but after that time everyone and everything got on his nerves, he became irritable and easy to provoke, and was happy when they proceeded with their journey.

He would then let himself fall behind, or attempt to be some metres ahead (preferably the latter, because this was what the team were used to), and he would think of Sasuke. With him, he had never forced himself to be optimistic or cheerful. He had, actually, never tried to make Sasuke like him. He had wanted him to acknowledge him, to recognize him as his equal and as a worthy opponent, but not as a friend.

It had rather come as a surprise that Sasuke was ready to sacrifice himself for him - it had been a surprise that anyone would find him worthy of saving his life at all. His first reaction had not been to be grateful or even to like Sasuke, but to want to save his life in return, to show him that he was just as good and courageous as him. Only when Sasuke had finally acknowledged him as an opponent he had begun to see him as a friend.

I've always done my best to return love for hatred, Naruto thought, hoping that one day I might be loved. Only with Sasuke it was the other way round.

Thinking had made him lose focus, and he was now seriously behind the rest of the team. He saw the raven again, and though the Sharingan was deactivated, he was sure that it was the same raven that he had seen the day before. Today it was actively pursuing him - Naruto had to admit that it was a bit creepy.

Suddenly it overtook him cutting him off effectively from his team, and then changed form: It was a man, but the man was not Itachi. He did wear the Akatsuki cloak though, black with red clouds. Naruto stepped back.

"Don't be afraid", the man said. "I just want to talk."

"Fine. I have heard that before. I, however, have no intention to talk to you."

"You are already doing it."

Naruto thought about how to fight him. Create kagebunshin as a diversion, use the strongest jutsu he was allowed to use, the Rasengan... The man had the Sharingan, just as the raven. Against his will he was scared - no matter how courageous Naruto pretended to be when he spoke to Sakura or Kakashi, he knew that he stood no chance against the genjutsus of a Sharingan user. He created some kagebunshin, just in case, to attack the man from behind as Chiyo had advised him, or touch him to get out of the genjutsu.

"It won't work", the man said. "They have already been caught in the genjutsu, just as the original You."

Things had gone really bad.

"And, besides, your own kagebunshin cannot get you out of a genjutsu. It has to be a real other person with a different chakra pattern, or it won't work. But, luckily, it won't be necessary, because, as I said, today I only want to talk to you. There's no reason to be afraid."

"Why should I trust you?"

"You don't have to trust me. I only ask you to listen."

I should attack straight away, Naruto thought, but he did not because of the genjutsu he might have been caught in.

"I still don't know why I should talk to you", he said. "You want to capture me in order to extract the kyuubi, and it won't matter to you that I will die in the process. What would I discuss with people who want me dead?"

"Not necessarily..."

"Is that not what you did to Gaara?"

"Yes, I am afraid so. Still with you, there are two options, as the kyuubi is the strongest of all the tailed beasts and might be their master."

"Meaning?"

"If you agree to work for us, we might not have to extract the kyuubi, and you'd stay alive. You'd use your power as the kyuubi's jinchuuriki to control the other beasts as well."

"The nine-tail cannot be used and controlled. I have enough difficulties keeping it in check - when I try to use it, it will take over."

"It is possible to control it. It has been done before. I have the power of Uchiha Madara at my disposal, who was able to summon the nine-tail at his will."

For a moment Naruto forgot that his vis-a-vis was a member of Akatsuki. For a moment he was tempted by the idea that he might not be damned to be constantly aware of the kyuubi, that it might again be okay for him to think of other things than not to let it take over. Then he remembered.

"Help you control the kyuubi, and make it serve the aims of Akatsuki. How did you get the idea that I would agree to work for your organization?"

"Simply put: Because otherwise you will die."

"We'll see about that", Naruto replied, again creating some kagebunshin.

The man transformed back into a raven.

"I could have caught you today", he said with a human voice. "But I prefer to give you some time to think. When we meet again, be ready to work with us, or die!"

And he flew away.

* * *


	12. A Soft Spot

Again Naruto told no one about this encounter. I don't have to, he tried to convince himself that he was right in doing so. It does not matter, because I won't accept their offer anyway. And still he could not help thinking about the stranger, and most of all, the name of Uchiha Madara kept ringing in his ears. He was sure that he had heard it before, but he could not remember where. He had never been good with names.

When they rested, he kept himself apart, thinking again about the stranger, though he had already convinced himself that he was not worth thinking about, and searching his memory for the situation where he had heard the name of Uchiha Madara before. He searched so hard for it that he began to feel as if he was really inside his head which seemed like a big, old deserted house, full of chests and cupboards and shelves for all his memories. Searching everywhere, he went from the attic to the cellar, where of course he found the kyuubi behind the bars of his cage.

"You should have come earlier", it said. "You should have realized that you just have to come to me when you search for a memory, because I remember everything you do, and much much more."

Naruto did not have to ask any more where he had heard the name of Uchiha Madara, because being here again, he remembered it as well.

"You know about him", he said. "You told Sasuke about him, telling him that his chakra was as strong and sinister as that of Uchiha Madara."

"Yeah, the Uchiha boy. He is strong indeed, and one day he might surpass his forefather."

"Forefather?"

"What else?"

"I had thougt that Madara was a distant relative of Sasuke, some prodigious son of the Uchiha clan."

"There's only one prodigious son of that clan, and thats Itachi. Madara was the founder of the clan, and one of the founders of Konoha."

"But he should have been dead for hundreds of years!"

"Fifty, actually. He was killed by the Shodaime in the Valley of the End."

The fight against Sasuke was still one of the most ambivalent memories of Naruto's life. He had been happy to hear Sasuke call him his friend, he had been proud that he had finally been able to make use of all his power and stand his own against Sasuke, but he would have preferred it not to be a fight about life or death. And now to think that at the very same place the Shodaime had killed a man who must have been his friend, or at least his companion when Konoha had been founded...

"Madara was one of the strongest shinobi of his clan", the kyuubi continued, „maybe the strongest, with the exception of that boy."

"You speak as if you had met him. How is this possible - even if he's been dead not for five hundred, but only for fifty years."

"You forget that I have existed since the beginning of the world."

For a minute Naruto stood in awe. Then he remembered that the kyuubi, old as it was, was not a venerable deity, but a demon.

"I have been present at the foundation of Konoha. Madara had a rare power, rare even among those who have the Sharingan, or one of its precursors. He was able to summon me from the depths of the ocean, or the voids of outer space, making me take form again. The Shodaime would then order me to cut a hole into the mountains, so that Konoha would be protected from three sides by natural walls of rock. Then I had to build the wall on the forth side, and at the same time defend Konoha from enemies who would have loved to destroy it in this first, vulnerable stage of its existence."

"The Shodaime ordered you", Naruto repeated. „But it was Madara who summoned you."

"Exactly. Madara could call me from the four corners of the world, but he needed the Shodaime to give the orders. He was Konoha's first jinchuuriki."

"But he was loved by everyone."

"Not loved. Respected. No one loves a person who willingly takes a demon inside their own body. Later he turned crazy and killed his friend. That's what happens to most jinchuurikis, sooner or later. The power wants out."

Nice to tell me that, Naruto thought.

"That's why they were reluctant before they allowed for another jinchuuriki in Konoha", the kyuubi went on.

"Were there more of them?"

"Two more between the Shodaime and yourself. You did not learn much history at school, did you?"

"I learnt about the Hokages and how they put their life on the line to protect Konoha."

"They did so, all of them, and most of them the Shodaime, sacrificing not only his life, but also his soul and his happiness on this earth. But they don't like to talk about the jinchuuriki, or about myself, because it is a bad mark on their otherwise spotless record that they have relied on a demon to maintain their position as the most powerful ninja village of all the five big powers."

"But they hate you. And they hate me because of you."

"Of course. Needing the help of a being you detest does not make you love it, but rather makes you hate it even more. And jinchuuriki have never been loved, because of the power they hold."

"But you attacked and nearly destroyed Konoha! They have a reason to hate you! Why did you do that? Why do you hate Konoha?"

"I don't hate it. I am the thunderstorm, roaring in the air, following only my own nature, seeking to fulfill my desire which is to roam wild and free. I don't attack anything, because I don't know of hatred, nor of love, but what is in my way will be destroyed. Though actually I have a soft spot for Konoha, having assisted at its foundation and having protected it so many times."

"But then why did you attack it?"

"I was summoned. I was ordered to do it. I was controlled."

"The stranger controlled you."

"He summoned me. Orochimaru controlled me, but later they broke up, and now he's dead."

"And now they want me to control you and to order you what they order me to order you."

"Probably."

"But I cannot control you. I have tried so more than once, but I cannot."

"So we are both lucky, aren't we?"


	13. Not a Hero

"We've slowed down", Suigetsu said. "And this is our forth break today."

"That's true."

"So may I ask why we are no longer in a hurry?"

Sasuke did not answer.

"Is it possible that out of your disappointment that your former teammates have ceased to follow us you have decided to slow down in order to allow them to catch up?"

Sasuke still did not answer.

"You know, we can always change direction and search for them and ask them why they have abandoned the pursuit."

Sasuke got up. "Break is over", he declared. "Let's go on!"

They had not been on the move for more than thirty minutes when again they slowed down and stopped. This time the stop was not induced by Sasuke, but by Karin.

"The kyuubi's chakra", she said. "Clearer and stronger than ever before, obscuring all other chakras, even that of the jinchuuriki himself, strong as it is."

"Where is it?" Suigetsu asked.

Karin pointed west.

"So let's get away", Suigetsu suggested.

"How far is it?" Sasuke asked.

"It would take us half an hour to get there", Karin answered.

"We'll go and have a look."

Suigetsu gasped. "Are you serious? Don't you think that it might be wiser to look for your friend when he is not overpowered by the kyuubi?"

"We are not looking for my friend. I just want to know what's going on! Be careful and see that no one notices you!"

"You can count on that - though I still think that staying away would be the best way not to be noticed."

Sasuke barely heard the last sentence; he was already on the move. He was not sure himself why he was interrupting their journey to the Uchiha hideout where he would meet Itachi - it was only for an hour, he told himself. Itachi would wait for him. I just want to see what's happening.

They could hear and smell the fight from far away, even without using Karin's chakra-sensing techniques, and soon they could also see the kyuubi. It did not yet have nine tails, but only six, and it still bore some vague resemblance to Naruto, yet it - or he - did no longer act as a human being but fought as animals fight, wild and furious and sometimes cunning, but never thoughtful, using its pure unshaped chakra as its weapon. When it swung its tails, trees and bushes got uprooted, when it struck with its paw, it flattened small hills.

Sasuke saw the fear in his teammates' faces - he was a bit afraid himself, but only a bit: it was an automatic reaction of his body, while his mind knew well that he could subdue the fox-demon's chakra.

What made him really shudder was the thought that the monster that was ruining the landscape actually was Naruto.

He searched for a safe place that was still close enough to watch the fight. One hill had not been much damaged so far, and also a little grove on its top had managed to survive. He found them a tree that was not right on the edge, so that it would not be struck in the first attack, but still near enough to give them a good view. They should be safe there, he thought, but he could tell that Suigetsu would have felt really safe only if he had been some kilometres away. Karin's and Juugo's faces did not show any emotion.

Sasuke turned his attention to the fight. Two Akatsuki members, a man and a woman, were fighting Naruto or the kyuubi, as one chose to see it. He could sense their fear, but they did not panic, nor did they retreat. They acted as if they had a plan, one that included them risking their lives, yet they trusted it to work, if they just kept to it. He looked a bit further and saw the trap they had set up for the kyuubi: a rather small area, surrounded by chakra-containing devices. Humans might get through by masking their chakra, but the kyuubi who only consisted of chakra could not do that. It might get in, but then one of the team - the woman probably - would step in at the back side of the trap and close it.

Naruto should learn to fight intelligently, Sasuke thought, instead of just relying on his and the kyuubi's plain chakra. And most of all, he should not take the form of the kyuubi, because the demon would not think at all, just act.

Already he was approaching the trap.

"Where's his team?" Juugo asked. "He has a team, hasn't he?"

Sasuke could see the concern on his face. Naruto's respectively the kyuubi's fate did not leave him unmoved.

"Probably scared", Karin answered.

"Can't blame them", Suigetsu added.

Sasuke considered intervening: Stop the kyuubi before it got caught in the trap. Contrary to his team he was not afraid; he knew that he had the power to subdue the kyuubi, make Naruto return to his human form and protect him against the Akatsukis.

Still he hesitated. He had come to look, not to get involved, and least of all he wanted to face Naruto and explain to him that he would not return to Konoha, at least not before he had completed his revenge.

He felt Juugo next to him transform into his Cursed Seal form. Already his face was covered by the black and white pattern of the seal, and he was on the point of changing into stage two. Automatically Sasuke activated his Sharingan, making Juugo's chakra fall to its normal level, changing him into a human being.

When he returned his attention to the fight, the kyuubi had vanished. Instead there was Naruto, lying unconscious on the ground, fettered by some weird, unnaturally grown branches that wound themselves around him as if they were snakes.

I could have done better, Sasuke thought. Most importantly, I could have done it without making him pass out.

The Akatsuki were approaching. Where was Naruto's team?

Sasuke began to move: From his tree to the next one, then to the outermost one, and to its farest-reaching branches.

Suigetsu had followed him.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"Draw them off Naruto", Sasuke answered.

"Good luck", Suigetsu said. "Take care!"

Sasuke let go, and with his lightning-speed jutsu he transported himself to the back of the Akatsukis.

"Where's Itachi?" he asked to get their attention. Only too late he realized that this line was not up to date any more. Still it served its purpose to make them turn around.

"Ah, Sasuke", the male Akatsuki member said. "Nice to meet you. Though I thought that you already knew where to meet Itachi."

Sasuke had to improvise now, but it did not matter. His intention was to draw them off Naruto, preferably by talking, but if this did not work by fighting. As long as they got away from Naruto he did not care what he was talking about.

"I met him, if that's what you mean", he said. "And he told me where to go. But that does not mean that this is where he will be."

"He will", the man replied. "He wants to talk to you. He has some important things to tell you."

"You might tell me", Sasuke said.

"Oh, Itachi will be much better at it. He's the one who knows all the stuff about your clan's history."

"He has already told me what there is to tell about that", Sasuke answered, thinking of what he had found in the basement of Konoha's main temple. "There is nothing left for me to talk about to him."

"Don't be so sure", the man continued. "Have you never wondered whether your clan, strong as it is, might have been meant to rule, not to serve?"

"I have rather wondered why they should have been meant to die", Sasuke replied.

He had to remind himself that he was talking for the sake of talking - he had to take care that he did not let them make him angry. He cast a glance at the woman: She was listening to his conversation with the man, not, as he had feared, going after Naruto. But it was not enough: He could not go on talking forever, he had to lure them away, so that Naruto could escape. And in the end he would have to escape himself, or kill the two of them.

"Acting the selfless and noble hero", the man said. "Not interested in power at all."

"I am not a hero", Sasuke replied. "My goal is to take revenge and restore the honor of my clan, that's all."

"Itachi will tell you about the true honor of your clan", the man said.

"So stop talking", the woman intervened. "That's Itachi's job. Ours is to get the nine-tail."

"You won't touch him", Sasuke said, finally drawing his sword. With its extended chidori blade he tickled the woman.

"What a beautiful toy", she said and attacked him with a fleet of paper planes. He dodged the first, retreated a few steps and caught the rest in his katon.

Only in the last moment he saw the man's attack. It hit his shoulder, and Sasuke retreated again.

The two Akatsuki members followed him.

So this is finally working, he realized. Attacking, getting attacked, withdrawing, being followed. Step by step the distance to Naruto grew.

He almost overlooked the woman's next attack. Even for him, fighting two enemies at once was not easy, and he was lucky that they had not got serious yet. They want me alive, he realized, for whatever purpose... And still he had to do something about the woman: Weaker than her opponent, she was more dangerous for exactly this reason: She would sooner panic and resort to more deadly techniques. He activated his Sharingan, attacked with his sword and tried to catch her in a genjutsu - he preferred to fight women with techniques that worked on the mind, rather than to use his more physical attacks on them. She avoided his eyes however, and still managed to parry his blow, even if it was from his invisible chidori blade.

Suddenly the man attacked for real, and Sasuke was busy defending himself without creating an opening for the woman. Luckily this gave him the opportunity to withdraw further, and then the man did not pay attention and did look into his eyes.

Concentrating on maintaining the genjutsu and keeping the woman from approaching the man. He was lucky that he had got her angry by now so that she no longer thought of Naruto but was rather attacking him seriously now.

I'll either have to escape or kill her, Sasuke thought. He would have preferred the latter, but he could not, should not do it, because he was not fighting for himself. He summoned two medium-sized snakes that got the woman off her feet, at least for a few seconds, and retreated a some more steps. By now he was approaching the wooded hill where he had watched the beginning of the fight together with his team. And already the man was beginning to cast off the genjutsu.

Suddenly Sasuke felt himself being taken by the shoulders and lifted into the air...


	14. Juugo's story

"Why did you do that?"

Sasuke looked angrily at Juugo and Suigetsu who had pulled him up into the tree. He clutched his shoulder. During the fight he had barely felt the pain, but now it was spreading like fire through his right arm and the right half of his chest. Having been grabbed and lifted by the shoulder had not helped either.

"Let me have a look at your wound", Karin said.

He shook her off and glared at the two men.

"I did not order you to get me out of the fight."

"Calm down", Suigetsu said. "Your friend is safe."

"He is not my friend."

"I thought he was, coming after you all the time and trying to get you back. I thought it was only you who did not know whether you were still his friend or not."

Sasuke kept glaring.

"Though considering that you just saved his life, it seems that you are."

"I am not. I have cut all bonds."

"Stop talking", Karin said. "Sit down so that I can tend to your wound."

He finally obeyed.

"His people collected him when they saw that it was safe", she said. "No reason to be angry, and no reason to worry any more."

"At least not for the moment."

"What do you mean?" Suigetsu asked.

"They abandoned him once, they will do so again."

They looked at him in astonishment, not knowing what to make of his words. He did not really know himself.

"I cannot blame them", Suigetsu said. "I'd be scared as well. At least we know now what kind of specific people Akatsuki are after."

I should have figured it out earlier, Sasuke thought. I should have guessed it when Itachi and Kisame came to hunt down Naruto. But I did not realize because I was busy being jealous that Itachi did not take any notice of me.

"That's the chakra they are looking for", Juugo said. "The chakra the birds have told me about. The chakra in those hiding places of theirs."

"He's in danger", Sasuke said. "Akatsuki are targeting him, he cannot protect himself, and his team is scared."

"Everyone is scared in front of the kyuubi", Suigetsu said.

"I am not."

He met Suigetsu's questioning and surprised eyes. Juugo's eyes were wide open and still impossible to read; only Karin was looking down and smiling. He looked down himself.

"Would you abandon me if I got out of control?" Juugo suddenly asked.

"Of course not", Suigetsu answered. "We have Sasuke with us, and he is not afraid of anything. He'd get you under control again."

"And if not?"

Suigetsu hesitated. "I'd try to remain alive. Getting myself killed would not help you in any way. I'd try to help you when it makes sense."

"Don't worry too much", Karin said. "Sasuke is with us after all. And besides, I've got the impression that you are improving. Since we left the Northern Hideout, you lost control only once."

"Twice."

"Twice?" Karin asked back.

Sasuke tried to remember. Once had been when Karin and Suigetsu had fought after Suigetsu had called her a dumb animal. It had been the last physical fight between the two of them.

"Just now", Juugo answered.

"I did not even notice", Karin said. "You see, Sasuke gets you under control rather quickly. And besides that, you just have to see that you don't get excited."

Sasuke wondered how this should be possible on a mission as theirs that would include a lot of fights and other dangerous situations. He had already made up his mind to keep Juugo out of fights if possible. Suigetsu and he himself would have to defend the rest of the team: Karin had never been much of a fighter, and Juugo, deadly as he was in his Cursed Seal Stage Two Form, was too desperate when it was over. He was not violent by nature - just now his bird was sitting on his shoulder, cuddling to his cheek, and it seemed as if it was attempting to kiss him with his beak. No one so gentle to a bird could be violent to humans! It was difficult to resign from using his fighting-prowess, but after all Sasuke had chosen him for his team because of his ability to communicate with animals, not as a fighter.

"I cannot control when I get upset", Juugo said. "And no one came to help the kyuubi boy."

"Sasuke did", Suigetsu said.

"It's not his fault that the kyuubi is inside him", Juugo continued as if he had not heard it. "He did not choose this fate."

"No", Sasuke said. "The fox was sealed inside him when he was still an infant."

"And still everyone is scared and ready to abandon him."

"Sasuke is not scared", Suigetsu said, sounding increasingly irritated.

"They will shun him and desert him", Juugo insisted. "And in the end he'll be all alone. And it's no one's fault, as no one can be blamed for being scared. Just as it is no one's fault that I have this stuff in my veins, and I cannot blame anyone for not wanting to be near me. It would better if I was shut away from all other human beings."

"Stop whining", Suigetsu interrupted him. "You are with us now."

"I was not born like that", Juugo continued. "I was not born a monster. I was a normal kid as any other, perhaps a bit clumsier than most, and always rather big for my age, so that people thought that I was older than I actually was, wondering why I did not act my age. I was also always rather silent, and less clever than most other kids, so that I preferred to keep to my birds..."

Sasuke felt a claw around his heart as he listened to this tale.

"But apart from that, everything was fine with me. Me and my parents and my sisters were living at my grandparents', where we were a bunch of cousins, always playing together, and I was happy being part of the crowd. I never wanted to be anything special. But then there was this huge cloud of unformed chakra hovering over our village. The grown-ups saw it in time and came to get us kids into the house, but I was not with the rest, because we had been playing hide and seek and I was still hiding and did not notice that there was a danger and that the others were going inside, and no one came to look for me. They simply forgot me, and I got caught by the cloud of chakra and transformed into a monster.

"The medical ninjas who examined me afterwards said that it was some strange enzyme and that something was wrong with my DNA, but this was only the physical manifestation of that chakra. I was not like that from my birth. I have not been a monster for all my life."

"You are not a monster", Sasuke said. He began to feel uncomfortable, just as Suigetsu. Juugo's pain, his sufferings and loneliness that had lasted for almost all his life were more than he could bear.

"I went everywhere, trying to find some cure. 'Please, help me', I said. 'I don't want to be a monster any more.' But they all turned me down, recommending me to someone else. Because they were scared. At last someone sent me to Orochimaru, who did not send me away, but neither did he attempt to cure me, he just used me for his experiments and that cursed seal of his."

"What about your family?" Sasuke asked. "Did they not look for you when you did not return?"

"My family..." Juugo looked at him, and slowly it dawned on Sasuke what had happened.

"You don't hate me", Juugo said.

"No, why should I", Sasuke answered, though he knew exactly what Juugo was talking about. "Nobody could know you and still hate you. I have rarely met a gentler, more selfless person."

"Nothing can undo the evil I have caused", Juugo said.

"Not if they are dead. But you can overcome your killing impulses. I'll help you, I promise. When all this is over, we will find a way to get rid of that dark chakra."

"Thank you", Juugo said and lowered his eyes. Sasuke felt embarrassed as well - he was not used any more to offereing his help to other persons and receiving gratiture in return.

"We'll stay here for the night", he announced. "Itachi won't mind if I am a day late. I have to do some thinking."

He would never admit it, but Juugo's story had deeply disturbed him.


	15. Interesting News

Naruto looked up and tried to remember what had happened. He and his team had met two members of Akatsuki, a man and a woman, but had not taken them seriously as they were vastly outnumbered and as they did not attack them anyway.

They had just talked, that is, the man had been talking: "Who'd have thought it! A bunch of Leaf Ninja at this place! What kind of wind has blown you thus far away from your tree?"

They had not answered of course.

"It's the wrong direction, you know. That is, if you are still looking for Uchiha Sasuke. He has turned South to meet his brother. Or have you finally seen reason and given up on him?"

"We'll never give up!" Naruto had shouted. "We have interrupted our search, that's all!"

"Ah, the nine-tail's jinchuuriki is with you. What a pleasant surprise. We would not have thought that you would still allow him to leave Konoha. .. Still hoping that Sasuke will return to Konoha and be your friend again? Stop dreaming! He's an Uchiha, born to rule, not to serve. At his brother's side, and at the side of our leader, who wields the power of Uchiha Madara, he will control the bijuus and dominate the world."

"He will never join you! He will return!" Naruto had shouted, and after this he did not remember anything. He did not know what had happened to the Akatsuki members, he did not know of the actions of his own team, he did not know how he had got back to the inn where they were staying and where Sakura was now tending to his wounds.

He supported himself on his arms.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We met Akatsuki. They taunted you, and you lost control, growing tails more quickly than one could watch. Neither Kakashi nor Yamato dared to intervene. In the end you had six of them and were hardly recognizable."

Naruto knew that he should feel ashamed and sorry for this, but he did not feel anything: It was as if he was all numb and paralyzed inside. Some thoughts were floating at the surface of his mind: Don't let the kyuubi take over, it's dangerous for you, it's dangerous for your companions, but they did not touch his soul. His soul felt dark and empty.

Sakura misunderstood the expression on his face. "You are probably still tired", she said.

He shook his head. "Tell me what has happened, then I will sleep."

"Yamato got the kyuubi under control. Then we collected you and took you to a safe place."

He felt that something was missing in this story. Why had Yamato suddenly been able to get the kyuubi under control?

"What happened to the Akatsuki members?" he finally asked.

"They got away."

Still the story did not seem to be complete. Why did they escape? Why did they have to escape? Why had they abandoned their attempt to capture him?

He remembered how at their recent encounter Itachi had suddenly decided not to capture him immediately, but had turned his attention to something more important. Maybe something similar had happened again.

"You should be more careful with the kyuubi", Sakura said.

She could not resist, Naruto thought. Why did she not just leave it? He did not need her to tell him not to use the kyuubi's power.

"You know that it hurts you. You think that you can afford any injuries, because the kyuubi will heal them, but you cannot. Your cells can only regenerate four thousand times during your life, and if you use the kyuubi's chakra to regenerate them more often, you will grow old prematurely and die early."

"I thought you would like me a bit more mature", he said.

He saw her arm twitch, but she did not punch him.

Naruto realized that her concern made him only feel annoyed, nothing more. All happiness that she cared for him had gone: Her concern for him, her love for him were of the wrong kind: As if he was a child and she was his mother, and a strict, not very tender mother in the bargain.

When he dreamt about having had a mother, she was very different from Sakura. She cared for him, yes, and she was concerned for him when he was in danger, and she would tell him off if he did something stupid - but she would be happy when he was happy, she would be proud of his skills, and she would understand how important Sasuke was to him and that sometimes he just could not control himself.

"I'm not the only one who's worried", Sakura said. "Kakashi wants to talk to you as soon as you feel better."

She left him so that he could get some sleep and recover. Just when he was falling asleep, however, in that strange country between awakedness and sleep, he met the kyuubi again.

It had happened rather often these last days, and he had wondered whether this new closeness with the demon-fox had made it easier for it to take control. He had a bit of a bad conscience about it, as he had never tried to stop these encounters, and sometimes he had even initiated them himself.

Never had his intention been to ask the kyuubi for power. Mostly he had just wanted to talk.

This time however it had clearly been the kyuubi that wanted to talk to him: Naruto felt as if he had been called. This did not prevent him of course from telling the kyuubi what he had to tell it.

"You!" he said. "What was that this afternoon? Why did you come out?"

"That's an easy question", the kyuubi answered. "I wanted to come out."

"But I did not want you to come out!"

"Then you should have hindered me. I follow my wishes, not yours."

"So whenever I lose control, you make use of the opportunity."

"Indeed: Fear, anger, hatred: Whenever you are overwhelmed by your emotions, I will take over."

"But you hurt me! If you come out too often and burn me, I will grow old prematurely and die early!"

"And I will be free again."

"Won't you die with me?"

"Die? Me? I'm an immortal demon. My only fear is to be caged again."

"Don't you care for me at all?"

"I do - but I long for freedom as well. Can't you understand it?"

Naruto did not answer, so the kyuubi continued:

"I have called you because there's something important to tell you. It will be interesting news for you."

The kyuubi paused, increasing the suspense.

"Well?"

"The Uchiha boy was at the site of the fight."

"Then why did I not notice him?"

"You happened to be out of control and not noticing anything."

"So what was he doing there?"

"Watching."

Watching - Naruto's feelings were all in confusion. Sasuke had been there, he had been near him, only some hundred metres away. He felt excited and frustrated at the same time that Sasuke had been within reach and he had not even noticed. But the bastard had just been watching.

"Why do you tell me this?" He asked the kyuubi. "Do you take pleasure in hurting me?"

"I thought that you might want to know", the kyuubi replied. "I thought it might be interesting to you that he was near and that you have a chance to find him, if you make use of the opportunity."

"And what is that to you? Do you want me to fight him?"

"And if I did?"

"Sasuke has the power to subdue and control you: why do you want me to meet him?"

"Sasuke or Yamato - it does not really matter to me. Actually I prefer Sasuke. He still has a heart."

"Why's this important to you? Yamato wants to keep you in check, Sasuke might want to use you. Where is the difference?"

"Sasuke cannot use me. He has the power to subdue me, but not to use me. There's only one person who can use me."

"That Akatsuki guy who has got into possession of the power of Uchiha Madara..."

"No, actually not. He can summon me, but he cannot control me, so he can't make use of me when he's on his own."

"I still don't understand why you prefer Sasuke to Yamato."

"Sasuke cannot use me, but neither can he be used. He still has his own heart."

The kyuubi left him, and Naruto fell asleep, and when he woke up again, he found some food on his nightstand. Hinata stood next to him.

"Kakashi wants to talk to you", she reminded him.

"Sakura has already told me", Naruto answered.

He ate, and when he had finished, he could not put it off any longer. When he entered Kakashi's room, he saw that Yamato was waiting for him as well. He remembered the kyuubi's words: Sasuke still has his heart. Maybe the demon had lied to him, he thought. Yamato has always been loyal to Konoha after all.

It was Yamato who opened the discussion: "We need to talk, Naruto. I am sure you know why."

Naruto could not bring himself to answer. He did not want to appear ashamed of what had happened, not after being told off like this. But neither had he the courage to rebel openly, and so he just nodded.

"We thought that you knew better than to use the kyuubi's chakra", Yamato continued.

"I do know. I did not do it intentionally. It simply happened."

"We thought so", Kakashi answered. "Still it should not even happen accidentally."

"Actually I am not really sure what's worse", Yamato added, "that it happened accidentally, or if you had used it on purpose. Because if you have used it on purpose, you can promise that it won't happen again, but if you cannot control it, you can't guarantee for anything."

"It won't happen again! I will see to it."

"You could have seen to it today."

"This will not get us any further", Kakashi intervened. "Naruto, do you know why this has happened?"

"Yes. They spoke badly of Sasuke."

"Sasuke again", Yamato said. "You should have learnt by now that this is your weak point and that you have to be on your guard whenever he is mentioned."

Naruto did not answer. He was on his guard now.

"Maybe it will help you if you realize that people deliberately use this weak point of yours to make you angry", Kakashi said.

"He is not my weak point", Naruto replied. "He is my strongest point." He wondered whether the two Jounin were trying to make him angry.

"I think that you should try not to think too much about him", Kakashi said. "He has deserted Konoha, he does not plan to return, he is probably not even thinking of you. You have never meant as much to him as he has meant to you. The sooner you face it, the sooner you will be able to turn your heart to real friends."

Naruto's heart froze because of course he saw the common sense in Kakashi's words.

"As it is now", Kakashi continued, "anyone can provoke you telling you this or that about Sasuke, and you won't be able to remain calm, not knowing the truth yourself. You cannot reply calmly: I know better - you will just get angry, and then the kyuubi takes over."

It took Narauto all his strength to remain calm when he answered to these words. "But I do know - deep in my heart."

"Anyway", Yamato said. "The most important point now is the kyuubi. Kakashi and I have discussed the matter and come to the conclusion that we will give you another chance. Next time it gets loose, you will have to return to Konoha where there is a place to keep the kyuubi and its chakra safe."

"What do you mean?"

"It's been created a long time ago, as the kyuubi has served Konoha from the time when it was founded. Sometimes it got out of control, and then it had to be confined to keep it in check."

Naruto tried to figure out the true meaning of that sentence.

"So try and be more careful, so that you don't get angry or excited, and, most important, forget Sasuke, so that people cannot provoke you any more by saying his name - then you may remain free."

"I have heard that the First himself, who was the kyuubi's first jinchuuriki, turned crazy after some time", Naruto said and it took him all his strength to keep his voice from breaking.

"It's not your fault", Kakashi said. "Nor is it ours. It's your fate."

"But why me?" Naruto said.

"No one knows", Yamato answered. "Maybe you just happened to be there. Maybe your parents were dead, or not there, and could not protest."

They would have protested if they had been there, Naruto thought.

"The Yondaime did his best", Kakashi said. "He separated the dark chakra from the light chakra and only gave you the light half. You don't have to deal with the entire kyuubi."

So what, Naruto thought. One half is enough to drive me completely crazy.

"I have often thought about it", Kakashi continued. "Your optimism, your perseverance, the way you care for everyone: Maybe it's the blessings of the light half. Keep to it, and you will be loved, so that your fate will be less hard."


	16. The Good Guys

Sasuke left it to his team to set up the camp and prepare dinner. (At the beginning of their journey there had been some conflicts about him doing his share of the work, but by now they knew that he had accepted his duties and that on an evening as this, when he was busy with his own thoughts, they could trust him to make up for it later.)

The hill where they had found refuge had not survived the fight undamaged: One side of it had been cut off by the kyuubi. Sasuke stood at the edge, looking down at the devastation. Still the thought that it was Naruto who had destroyed the landscape made him shiver. Chivalrous Naruto, kind to the weak, brave in front of the enemy, true to his friends...

Sasuke preferred not to linger on that last thought. And still to think that Naruto's personality had been changed completely by the nine-tailed demon-fox...

He had witnessed such a change when he had fought Naruto in the Valley of the End. Naruto had fought using the demon's raw chakra as a weapon, but the price had been that he had partly lost control over himself - he had seemed halfway out of his mind, being more like the demon than like himself.

And still together with fear and anger there had been love in the mix.

Sasuke himself had been out of his mind as well, and worse so than Naruto. He had thought that he had been acting rationally, finally having cut himself from all bonds that would impede his clear thinking, and indeed, when they had fought, he had not been overcome by his emotions. It had seemed very simple: He had his aim, and he would do what was necessary in order to achieve it. Only that he had forgotten some other important points, for example that he would become like Itachi if he treated other people as means to his ends. He had no right to decide about other people's lives and deaths.

He did not particularly like the memory of their fight at the valley of the end, and he put it away.

Naruto being controlled by the kyuubi... Being not much older than Naruto, Sasuke had no conscious memories of kyuubi's attack on Konoha and of his having to be sealed into Naruto, and then he had fallen under the taboo that the story should not be told to any children. Of course he had heard rumors of the demon's attack and of the Yondaime defeating it, and he had also heard some stories about his clan's history with the nine-tail, but only when he had met the kyuubi inside Naruto he had been able to put two plus two together.

Suigetsu came to fetch him for dinner. Sasuke felt his chakra long before he could see or hear him, and he talked to him before Suigetsu addressed him.

"Sacrifices", he said. "It's all about sacrifices."

"Sorry", Suigetsu replied, "you don't mind telling me what you are talking about?"

"It's the same, always and everywhere. Orochimaru sacrificed people for his immortality jutsu, my brother first sacrificed his best friend Shisui to get the Mangekyou Sharingan and then the clan to test his capability, or whatever the real purpose of this massacre was. Akatsuki are hunting down Naruto and the other jinchuuriki in order to achieve their dark aims. Even in Konoha they have sacrificed Naruto to save their own hide." He did not tell how once he himself had been ready to kill Naruto.

Suigetsu had now caught up and was standing at Sasuke's side, looking down at the site of the fight. Their eyes did not meet.

"Sometimes sacrifices have to be made", Suigetsu said. "You will learn this when you become a leader in war as you sure will one day: Sacrificing some soldiers to save the rest of your division. Your heart will bleed at the occasion, not knowing why you sacrifice one and spare the other, but you will do it, because otherwise all will die."

"Soldiers are soldiers", Sasuke replied. "They became soldiers fully aware that one day they might have to sacrifice themselves. I am talking about sacrificing an infant in order to save the village."

"So what? People have done it all the time. It's simply a question of numbers: One infant versus thousands of villagers, all equally innocent."

"But in Konoha they still think that they are the good guys, because they did it for some higher good: The well-being of the village."

"Most people think of themselves as the good guys", Suigetsu said.

"Orochimaru did not. He knew that it was all for his selfish aims."

"Don't be naive! He still thought that he was one of the good guys. Only his world view was a bit twisted: He thought of himself as a genius, while all others were of little value, and he believed that the world would profit if he could make his immortality jutsu really work, without him having to change bodies every three years - and the timespan was shortening with every body he used! - while the death of some dozens or hundreds of us mere mortal humans would not make any difference. And though I don't know much about Akatsuki and their aims, I am pretty sure that they consider themselves the good guys as well."

"I don't consider myself one of the good guys. I have no ambition to be a hero and sacrifice myself for some people I hardly know."

"Of course not. You sacrifice yourself for the honor of your clan. - And still you think that you are better than your brother."

"At least I haven't killed anyone."


	17. Just a Dream

Naruto tried to be silent when he packed his backpack: he did not even turn on the light. He managed not to rouse Kiba or Shino when he left the room, he went down the stairs with only some minor cracking, he was not noticed when he snubbed some food from the kitchen. He had a bit of a bad conscience about it, but he quieted it by leaving some money on the table.

Having stucked away the food in his backpack he returned to the inn's main room and prepared himself to go - he had thought that this would be easy, just stepping outside and shutting the door behind him, but it was not. If he left now, he would not be able to return, and faced with this final decision he was hesitating.

He neither heard nor saw Sakura until it was too late. She must have had hidden herself in the shadows, waiting for the best moment, and only stepped into the light of the doorway when he was ready to leave. She must have sensed him, just as she had sensed Sasuke three years ago.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Leaving."

"Don't do that to me!" she said. "I don't want to lose you as well."

He knew what she was referring to, and he was a bit jealous, but not much.

"I can't stay", he said, shaking his head. "I cannot go on like that. I am killing my soul if I remain with the team, following orders, not doing what my hearts longs to do."

"You are a ninja", she said.

"This does not mean that I don't have any emotions."

"You have to put them aside while you are on duty."

"Maybe. Maybe this what is asked of you and of all the others. But I am asked to put them aside all the time, not only while I am on duty."

Because I am the jinchuuriki, he thought. Because I can be overcome by the kyuubi any moment if I don't keep my feelings in check. I am not a normal human being who may listen to his feelings and look for personal happiness when he is off duty. I am the demon vessel who always will have to put his own wishes behind, because his first priority has to be keeping the kyuubi under control.

"You are going to look for Sasuke", Sakura said.

"What else?"

"Don't! He's not real. He's a dream."

"He is as real and alive as we are."

"Maybe he is. But that's not the Sasuke you are dreaming of. The Sasuke of your dreams, and the real Sasuke are probably two completely different persons. Don't you remember what he was like when we met him in Orochimaru's lair? How he played with your feelings, how he even attempted to kill you?"

"He did not. He just threatened to do it, so that we would leave him alone."

He was not sure whether this was true but he would not admit it.

"And still he wanted to be rid of us, caring only about his revenge. Stay with me, Naruto! I am not a dream! I really care for you!"

"I know", he said.

"I want you to stay alive. I don't want you to throw away your life!"

"It's not enough", he replied. "I cannot go on being nothing more than the demon vessel. It's like being crippled. I long to be a human being like everyone else, with a soul, and a heart, and emotions."

"You are not crippled", she said. "And even if you are, you still have emotions."

"That's the point."

"What will you do when you meet Sasuke and realize that you have been chasing a dream? When he makes fun of you and again rejects you? What then? Will you try to return? Or stay on your own?"

"I don't know. I only know that even if he's nothing but a dream I have to follow the dream. Even if he's a dream, I cannot give up on him, because this dream is rooted in the innermost part of my soul - that's where my love for him is alive. To tear it out would mean to destroy that part of myself, and I cannot do this."

"But what will you do when you find out that he is not that dream? What when you find him and he's still cold as ice, rejecting you, thinking of nothing but of his revenge?"

Naruto thought a bit. Of course he could have answered: He's not like that, I know it in my heart! as he usually did, but this time he decided against it.

"It does not matter", he said. "The dream matters. I want to find out whether the real Sasuke still has anything in common with my dream, but if he does not, then I will still have my dream." He paused to think. "How he treated me as a fellow human being from the very beginning of our time as Team Seven, though I did nothing to deserve it, how he saved my life, how he taught me to fight for the people I care for."

There was more which he decided not tell Sakura: Sasuke's independent spirit, his courage to follow his own path, and in the consequence to face loneliness - all what he had detested when Sasuke left Konoha.

"It's the dream that counts. If Sasuke happens to be like that dream, I will stay with him."

Sakura stood silent. "Good luck, Naruto", she finally said, embracing him awkwardly. "I hope we'll meet again."**  
**


	18. No Need to Explain

Sasuke had thought long this night, and when he was done with thinking and had come to a decision, he had been busy preparing a long speech to explain everything to his companions, not only the what and how, but most importantly the why. He had also made up his mind to let them decide freely whether they would still want to follow him, or rather pursue their own aims.

"I have changed plans", he began. „Itachi will have to wait."

Three pairs of eyes met his, and he knew that there was no need to talk any more.


	19. On his Own

After leaving the inn Naruto had travelled jumping from tree to tree until he got tired and kept missing branches and falling down, then he had gone on foot until he stumbled over every root and every stone that were in his way. It was almost noon when he lied down to sleep where he was, not even taking time to look for a safe spot, and he woke up in the evening, got some water boiling for his instant ramen, ate and then continued his journey.

It was at nightfall when full realization of his situation struck him. There he was in the wilderness, utterly alone, with nothing but a vague aim before his eyes, finding Sasuke, and he did not know where to look, but only had a general direction: Southeast. If he did not find him, or if Sakura was right and he was chasing a dream and if Sasuke pushed him away again, then he'd be really lost.

"I will find him", he told himself. "There is no way that I won't. And he cannot reject me again. He's not that cruel."

Naruto had never shown any talent for the classical skills of a ninja, stealth and espionage. He had always aimed to be a strong fighter, most of all a short distance and close combat fighter, strong, brave, courageous, open, honest, always to be found where it was most dangerous. He did not mind using his kagebunshin as a feint, but apart from that he hated deception with the full force of his heart, and even when it came to using kagebunshin, he preferred using his true self for the feint and seeing the astonished look on his opponents' faces when they discovered that the Naruto that had stayed behind in the safe place actually was only a kagebunshin.

For him, feints were not a way to show intelligence, but a form of deception and cowardice.

He had never learnt to be good at tracking a person either. He lacked patience, an eye for small signs, and he had no special talent, as a heightened sense for smell or a sense for chakra.

But travelling with Jiraya for two and a half years had taught him that there are skills that can make up for the lack of these talents: The gift to socialize easily, and getting into a nice chat with anyone after a few minutes. This had been Jiraya's talent and his way to gather information, and it would be Naruto's way as well, only that Jiraya also made use of alcohol and sex, and Naruto felt too young for both of them.

So this night he did not camp outside but when he came to a town, he stopped on his journey and found himself an inn where he could spend the night. Tonight he would allow himself this luxury, he told himself, next time he would try to find a place where they would let him work in exchange for food, drink and a bed...

He went to his room, unpacked his things, ate his meal that he had asked to be brought to his room. Later he went downstairs to the main room of the inn and joined the other guests. He even had some beer: the landlord did not seem to care that he was still underage. Anyway, he did not intend to get drunk, just to blend in, and this was much easier with beer than with milk or even water. He drank slowly, as he was not used to the bitter taste yet, and he did not order a second beer.

General conversation was about local politics, and of course here he could only listen, but later it turned to the abysmal performance of the Fire Country's national football team against the Earth Country in last week's qualification match for the world championship, and then Naruto joined in: He had watched the match together with the rest of his team when they had been staying in town - actually that night they had even decided against camping because of the match. The houses created by Yamato's Mokuton Jutsu did not contain TV sets. Only Sakura, who felt that football was beneath her, and Kakashi, who preferred to read, had not joined them.

Naruto had a very clear opinion of the team's general performance, and even a clearer one of the particular performance of the nominal first scorer of the team, and soon he was ranting about the quality of football in the Fire Country that really sucked given that they were one of the Five big ninja nations. (Maybe the alcohol had a share in this.) All the guests were listening to him, and when he had finished no one had to add anything.

They returned to their own subjects again, only one man invited Naruto to another pint of beer, and asked to be allowed to sit next to him at the bar.

"You are quite young", he said. "And you are already travelling on your own. Is this not a bit dangerous?"

Naruto shook his head. "Not for me", he said. "I am a shinobi, and I am on a mission. I can protect myself."

If he had really been on a mission he would have never said this. Though probably the alcohol had played him a trick again.

"I wonder if they don't overdo", the man said. "I have often wondered that they send youngsters as yourself or even little kids on dangerous missions or into war, but they say that it's safe because they are always under the protection of grown-up ninjas. Yet now I see you being on a mission on your own, and just a week ago I saw another young boy who was already leading his own team..."

Naruto froze: He had found a trail, but it was cold. The man did not seem to notice his reaction but continued to talk.

"If I had kids, I would not allow them to become ninjas. I mean, nothing against being brave and courageous and defending the country, but training kids as mercenary soldiers before they are old enough to judge whether their mission is morally acceptable or not, that's not okay for me."

"I am old enough", Naruto said. "I know about right and wrong."

"So, can you? So tell me, is your present mission right or wrong?"

"The rightest of all: I am going to rescue a friend."

"Good luck with this", the man said. "This cannot be too wrong at least. But you are a bit too careless: I might work for Akatsuki."

"You?" Naruto said, startled that the stranger seemed to know that Akatsuki was looking for him. "Akatsuki? No, you are not wearing a black cloak with red clouds."

"I might be one who is not a full member yet but only works for them... But you are lucky, I don't work for Akatsuki. I am a friend of Jiraya, and he told me about you - or rather one of his messengers did. He also has a message for you.**  
**


	20. Finally you Care!

Karin had easily found the chakra signatures of the Konoha team, and they were following their trail when suddenly, just when they were near enough for Sasuke also to sense their chakra, Karin made them stop.

"What's the matter?" Sasuke asked her.

"I can now tell their different chakra signatures apart", she said. "And the kyuubi boy is not with them."

"He is not? Why?"

"I cannot tell. This is not part of my talent."

Sasuke felt panic creeping up in him: "He is not dead I hope?"

"There's no reason why he should be", she answered. "He might just have left them."

"He cannot have done that! They cannot have let him do that with Akatsuki pursuing him!"

He was terrified, but there also was another feeling: Some strange satisfaction that he had been right in his judgement that Naruto was not safe with his team.

His teammates did not know what do with this sudden outburst, and soon he felt embarrassed as well, also because he had no idea why he had suddenly reacted so emotionally to Karin's announcement. It was not very reasonable, was it?

"So what do we do now?" Suigetsu finally broke the silence.

"Can you sense his chakra anywhere?" Sasuke asked Karin.

"I would have told you if I did."

He thought for some minutes: They could of course go in some random direction hoping that it would be the right one and that Karin would finally pick up Naruto's chakra. It would be better however to look for some information first.

"I want to know what has happened", he said. "Whether he has left the team, and if he has, then why, and if he is on his own, and whether they know where he has gone."

"What do you mean?" Suigetsu asked. "We go to their camp, say: Hi, nice to meet you, do you have any idea where Naruto might be?"

"Yes", Sasuke answered.

Of course he had no such intention. An encounter with Kakashi was something he wanted to avoid, be it for fighting or for talking. It was just that he was beginning to get the hang of the way Suigetsu talked and how to answer him. He hoped that at one point the Konoha team would split up so that he could talk to only one of them. He already had an idea whom he wanted to talk to...

So far they had been unlucky. The Konoha team were going fast and straight into one direction without lingering around or splitting up as they had done before. Sasuke and his team had to see that they could reduce the distance to them, and only when it got dark and the Leaf ninjas had entered a village they finally caught up. They watched them entering an inn - they did not have to care about money or about being noticed, Sasuke thought with envy. There were times when he was fed up with camping in the wilderness.

"And now?" Suigetsu asked.

"We will wait a bit. A quarter of an hour maybe, and then check in ourselves, so that we won't run into them in the reception office."

"I thought we wanted to meet them", Suigetsu said. "So that we could ask them why they abandoned pursuing us, and what they had done to Naruto."

"We will see that we meet them at the right moment, and on our terms", Sasuke replied.

It was one of those hostels where they have rooms with any number of beds, one, two, four, six and ten, and where guests are placed into these rooms without caring whether they are male or female. Kakashi and Yamato were of course conscious of their responsibilities as senseis of groups of teenagers and saw that at least the two girls would get a room of their own with no extra beds and no danger of some strange men being put together with them.

Sasuke and his team however had no need for such delicacies, or rather, as Suigetsu put it, the three men of the team had to protect each other against Karin, and also they had to have an eye on her to keep all the other men in the world safe from her. Sasuke's reasons for having all his team stay in one room were of course simpler: Like this they could protect each of if need be, and besides, he wanted to have an eye on them so that they could not do anything foolish. (Suigetsu would have added that he also needed his team to have an eye on him so that he could not do anything foolish.) Also it was cheaper.

He left the talking to Suigetsu as it looked more natural if not the youngest of the team was in charge. Suigetsu also asked for their meal to be brought to their room, and when they had settled down and eaten, they discussed what to do to get the information they wanted from the Konoha team.

"Can you locate their chakra signatures?" Sasuke asked Karin.

"No problem. Two of them are on their own in their rooms on the ground floor while the rest of them are assembled in one large room on the same floor as ours."

"That must be the young people." Sasuke was thinking about a plan. "They will have to use the same bathrooms as we do."

"What's that?" Suigetsu said. "There are moments when everyone wants to be alone. You don't attack in such a moment."

"I don't intend to attack, and I don't intend to disturb them in one of these moments. I am talking about contacting one of them while she is on her own in the corridor."

"She? I have always thought that you are not interested in girls."

"I am not!" Sasuke snapped back, then he gasped and felt the blood rushing to his head. For some time now Suigetsu had been teasing him about being gay because of his utter lack of response to Karin's advances, and Sasuke had learnt to answer automatically to this, saying "I am not", only that this time it had been the wrong answer.

"Ah, now we get closer to the truth", Suigetsu said.

"I am not interested in Karin, and I am not interested in that particular kunoichi, at least not in that way, and..."

"...and you are not interested in any particular woman in that way, and not even in women in general."

"I am", Sasuke answered now correctly, even though he was not sure how it should be possible to be interested in women in general - you could only be in love with one at a time, could you?

"Anyway, I want to discuss with you how we might get some information from the Leaf ninjas... There's one particular kunoichi I want to talk to if she's in their team, and I guess that she is, or at least was, because she has always been pursuing me together with Naruto."

"His sweetheart?"

"No. The third member of our team."

This time Suigetsu did not answer, he just looked as if he knew everything, or at least thought that he knew everything, and this was enough to make Sasuke burst out: "I don't intend to discuss my love life with you, all the more because I have none. I want to tell you my plans about how to get some information about Naruto."

"Shhh", Karin said. "The walls are thin here."

Sasuke turned to her: "Can you keep track of the young leaf ninjas' movements, and when one of them goes to the ladies', go out into the corridor and see if it's the one I want to talk to, and make her come to our room?"

"You mean abduct her?"

"Not necessarily. The less violence and the less noise and uproar the better. I am not interested in hurting her, I just want some information. Do you think you can do it?"

"Of course. I am not the idiot Suigetsu thinks I am."

"Oh, sorry", Suigetsu said. "I have never thought of you as an idiot. Idiots at least have some intelligence."

Sasuke saw that Karin wanted to attack but then thought better of it.

"How do I recognize the girl?" she asked, forcing herself to ignore Suigetsu.

Sasuke actually had to think a bit before he could describe Sakura in a way that would allow Karin to recognize her.

"She has pink hair", he finally said. "Really pink. Not something between ash-blond and red, but pink as a baby girl's clothes."

"Does she dye them like that?"

"I don't think so. It looks absolutely artificial, but it's a whim of nature."

"That should be enough to recognize her", Karin said.

For some minutes they waited silently, allowing Karin to concentrate, then she got up and went outside. The three men held their breath, trying to hear what was going on outside, but there was nothing, and Karin returned alone.

"Not the one", she said. "This one had black hair and violet eyes without a pupil. Quite creepy actually."

"No need to worry. That must be Hinata. She's harmless, useless and hopelessly in love with Naruto. Well, she was when I left. Everyone knew about it, only Naruto himself did not seem to notice. If we cannot get Sakura, we will take her."

He met Suigetsu's eyes and realized that he had better avoided them.

"And this Sakura? Is she any dangerous?" Suigetsu asked.

"No. Harmless, useless. In fights the only thing she would do was to ask Naruto or me to protect each other, or herself for that matter. As if we were not able to do that without being told. Besides that, she was heartless and insensitive, cruel to Naruto and not taking notice of the fact that I was not in love with her."

"You will like her", Suigetsu said to Karin.

She ignored him. "There's another one of them going to the Ladies'", she said. "I will check her out."

She left the room while the men were silent again and listened.

"Hi!" they heard Karin say casually, as one greets a stranger in a public place.

"Hi!" Sakura answered, sounding a bit irritated, as a corridor in a hostel is usually not considered a public place where people greet each other.

Her voice has not changed, Sasuke thought.

"You are Sakura-san, aren't you", Karin addressed her directly.

"I am. Why? Who are you? What do you want of me?"

"I have a message for you", Karin answered, and then added with some stress: "From a former teammate of yours."

"From Naruto? How is he? Where is he? He's fine, I hope..."

"Not here", Karin said. "Come to my room, there I'll tell you."

A few seconds later the door opened and Sakura entered, followed by Karin who blocked the door to make sure that Sakura would not be able to leave again.

Sasuke saw her freeze in shock at his sight.

"Take a seat", he said. "I don't want you to collapse."

When she did not move, Karin pushed a chair over to her and made her sit. Sasuke, who was sitting on a table, could now look down on her.

"I thought this was about Naruto", Sakura said when she was finally able to speak.

"It is", Sasuke replied. "Though we don't have any message for you, I'm afraid. But I am content that you have learnt to care for him at last."

"I have always cared."

"Oh, sorry, I have not noticed."

She did not answer to this reproach. She looked, in fact, absolutely scared, though at the same time it was obvious that she was trying to appear calm and composed and determined, and that she was desperately trying to come up with a way to get out of this situation.

"What do you want of me?" she asked. "Why did you lure me to your room?"

"I thought you'd be happy to find me at last. Were you not looking for me?"

"Not like this. Why would you take me prisoner?"

"You are not my prisoner. You are our guest."

"Guests are free to leave."

He could see why she would say this: The door was now blocked by Juugo, who looked frightening indeed. She should watch him caressing his birds, Sasuke thought, and realize that he would hurt her as little as them. Though Sasuke was happy that she did not realize.

Suigetsu was sitting on one of the beds, leaning back, idly playing with his sword, which he was holding between his legs - he always did this when he was bored, but Sakura of course did not know.

Karin sat on the other bed, polishing her nails and not missing one word of the conversation. She looked grim and determined, even though she was much better at fighting with words than with anything else.

"Sasuke", Suigetsu now said, "I thought we wanted to get this over as smoothly as possible."

"Smoothly?" Sakura replied. "Get it over? You are not planning to kill me, are you?" She looked at Sasuke.

"Don't be foolish", Karin said. "Why should we kill you?"

"There's no need to be afraid", Suigetsu said. "He's still a Leaf ninja, abiding to the self-proclaimed ideals of your village. He has forbidden us to kill anyone. Though I would never kill such a beautiful woman."

His words frightened her even more, and at the same time she prepared herself to fight.

"So why have you made me come here?" she asked, her eyes wandering between Sasuke and Suigetsu.

"I will speak, if you don't mind", Suigetsu said. "As you don't seem to know how to talk to a young lady."

"She is not a young lady", Sasuke said. "She is an annoying bitch."

"You see my point." Suigetsu turned again to Sakura. "Now, if you will excuse him. This meeting with you is quite an emotional affair for him, and he does not know how to deal with it, as he is only fifteen."

Sakura did not answer but spoke to Sasuke: "I thought that you were in charge."

"I am. Suigetsu, do the talking, please, if you think that you are better at it than I am."

"Thanks. So, as I said, Sakura-san, there is no need for you to be afraid. We have no intention to harm you in any way. We just have some questions about Naruto."

"Naruto?"

"Indeed. We would like to know why he is not with you any more and where he has gone and if there is anyone with him."

"Why do you want to know all this?"

"Because if he is on his own he is not safe. We suppose you know that he is targeted by Akatsuki."

Sakura turned to Sasuke: "Suddenly you care for him."

"I always have."

"I see. So this is why he was barely alive when he returned from your fight in the Valley of the End."

Sasuke did not answer. The memory still hurt, and besides, he had not known before how badly Naruto had been wounded.

"We ask the questions, remember?" Karin said.

"Hush! Be nice! - You see, we don't know what happened then, but now we are concerned. So if you now could be so kind to answer our questions...", Suigetsu said.

"And why, if you don't mind asking me, should I do this?"

"Because we do care", Juugo suddenly said. "And yesterday Sasuke saved his life."

Sakura was surprised. "You did?" she asked, her voice much softer than before.

"Yeah", Sasuke answered and lowered his eyes in embarrassment.

She was silent, obviously thinking hard and trying to make sense of the new information. He still did not dare to look at her, feeling that she was keeping her eyes on him. He did not even look up when she finally answered.

"He went to look for you. We were ordered to abandon our search for you and go to Amegakure as a backup for Jiraya, and he left us for your sake."

"And you let him go? You know it's too dangerous with Akatsuki after him."

"How should I have stopped him?"

Finally they looked at each other. For some minutes they were silent - the memories were too painful.

"Do you know which direction he chose?"

"No. Probably South, as this is where he suspected you to be. Are you going to look for him?"

"Yes."

"You should be able to meet him. Just make sure that he can find you."

"That I could have worked out by myself. Do you have any other information?"

"No. That's all."

She got up, ready to go, and he got down from the table he was sitting on, realizing that it would be very impolite not to, and not only impolite but more - finally he was convinced that she did care for Naruto, and he felt the need to acknowledge this.

He knew that she was going to leave now, having said all she had to say, but there was still one favor he had to ask of her:

"If you could, please, be silent, and not tell Kakashi, or the rest of your team that you've met us and that we are going to look for Naruto."

"I won't. Good luck, Sasuke! Find him quickly, and protect him well!"

He embraced her, very carefully, very lightly, just touching her shoulders. It felt awkward, but not embracing her would have felt even more awkward. Also he did not remember her being so much smaller than him, and that was weird as well - her hair brushed his chin, barely noticeable, a light tickle...

She broke the embrace and left the room without another word.

Sasuke looked at his team. "We are leaving now - I don't want to risk running into Kakashi. We go South."

"What a pity", Suigetsu said. "I was really looking forward to a night in a real bed."


	21. A Deal with the NineTails

Naruto followed the stranger to his room, still not sure whether he could trust him. He checked the kunais in his holster and prepared himself to fight at the smallest sign of danger.

"You should have been more careful before", the stranger said. "But as I told you, you can trust me."

He unlocked and opened the door to his room, and there, on the plain guests' room table, was a toad. Naruto had never seen it before: It was neither one of the the house-sized creatures Jiraya called during fights, nor one of the cute children of Gamabunta that turned up when Naruto failed to mold the chakra he needed to summon one of the big ones. It was middle-sized, and it gave the impression of being rather serious, which made Naruto suspect the worst.

"Greetings to you!" the toad said.

"Greetings!" Naruto answered. "How is Jiraya? He is not dead, is he? He cannot die!"

"He was alive and fine when I last saw him", the toad answered. "But he was preparing himself to go into a fight: the worst of his life maybe."

Naruto was silent: This was bad news indeed. He had been travelling with Jiraya for two and a half years, and he had learnt to trust that Jiraya was stronger than anyone and could not be beaten, except perhaps by Tsunade when she was angry. It was simply unimaginable that there might be someone who was too strong for Jiraya, and still the toad made it sound like this. The opponent must be really terrible... For the fist time since he had left his team Naruto regretted his decision, not for his own sake - he did not regret having given up the happiness of being with his comrades in order to find Sasuke - but for Jiraya's sake: if Jiraya died, and if he might have lived if Naruto had been there to help him, then Naruto would never be able to forgive himself.

"He sent me to you with a message because he knew that he might die in this fight and because he wanted to make sure that you get it. He would have preferred to give it to you in person when you were more mature and had the wisdom to handle the information, but now he could no longer wait."

"I am no child any more", Naruto said. "I am fifteen."

"That's the point. Though wisdom has never been one of Jiraya's strong points, so if he was wise enough to deal with it, you might be as well."

"Stop insulting me! Give me the message?" Naruto demanded.

The toad produced a ninja scroll from its belly. Naruto took it and unfolded it."

"It's the key to undo the Yondaime's seal", the toad explained.

"What do you mean? The key to release the kyuubi into the world?"

"Not into the world: Into your body. The seal separates your chakra from the kyuubi's: Undoing it will allow them to mix. You could then use the kyuubi's chakra at your will and finally be a true jinchuuriki."

"It cannot be done. The kyuubi's chakra cannot be controlled."

"It can. It has been done before."

"All former jinchuuriki went mad after some time, and I have been warned that this will happen to me as well, and even earlier than to the others, because I am so bad at controlling the kyuubi."

"That's because your chakra and the kyuubi's are not allowed to mix properly. If you try to keep them separated and to keep the kyuubi's chakra in control by force, it will seek to break out whenever you let your guard down, and if it's only for a little bit. But when your chakras mix, you will be able to remain in control."

"And why did nobody tell me that?"

"Few people know. Knowledge about the kyuubi is rare, and the ones who have some, are not ready to share it with people who are not able to deal with it. Some knowledge has been passed on from Hokage to Hokage, because the Hokage at least will have to know about this demonic ally of our village, and there is some other knowledge about it in the Uchiha clan, but this is even more secret, and I don't know anything about it."

"But even the first Hokage went mad after some time, in spite of all his knowledge."

"The Forth Hokage, who was your father, saw in you the talent to find a way to get around this: To make use of the kyuubi's power and stay sane until one day you die from old age."

"But I was just a day old then: How could he see the talent?"

"Your unusual amount of chakra was discernible even then."

"The chakra maybe. But for such a deed one needs also wisdom and knowledge and intelligence, and as you said they are not my strong points. And I won't get any help from people who are more intelligent than I am, because all they say is: Don't use this jutsu! Keep the kyuubi in check!"

He thought back in bitterness: So much advice, all well-meant and all wrong. So after all not desperately keeping the kyuubi in check, but letting it mix freely was the solution.

Then he saw the point in the toad's speech that had first escaped him:

"Did you just say that the Yondaime was my father?"

"He was. Did you think he would have taken a random orphan child and sealed the kyuubi into it?"

"Rather would he sacrifice his own son?"

"That's the Hokage's duty: Sacrifice his own life, or anything that is personally important to him, if it is necessary for the safety of the village."

Naruto did not listen. He had often indulged in daydreams in which he turned out to be the son of the Forth Hokage, and in these daydreams he had never been bitter. Often he dreamt that the Yondaime had never been really dead, and that he would come to Konoha and seek him out and welcome him as his beloved son, and he would say that he had never meant to cause him any harm, and that now everything would be fine. And then he would go into the street with Naruto at his side, and people would welcome their long-lost Hokage, whom everyone had believed dead, and they would apologize to Naruto for how they had treated him, and he would generously accept their apologies.

Now he felt nothing of the relief these daydreams had always given to him, but just bitterness: Against his father, against the people of Konoha, even against the toad though it had done nothing to deserve it.

"Also your father did not intend to sacrifice you", the toad said. "He saw in you the power to control the kyuubi, not to be overcome by it."

"And what about all the suffering I went through when I was a child? When I was lonely and everyone despised me?"

"He did not mean that. He thought that Jiraya and Tsunade would be there to look after you."

Neither of them had been present during his early years. After losing their loved ones during the Great ninja war and the kyuubi's attack on Konoha both of them had dealt with their sorrow in their own way: Tsunade by drowning it in alcohol and gambling, Jiraya by being constantly on the move, by engaging in mindless and soulless sex and by writing sentimental erotic romances.

"And why did nobody tell me? Why did I have to grow up as an orphan, not only without parents, but without any family at all? Why was I treated as a stranger who is indulged because no one has the heart to turn him away, but whom nobody really likes? Why was it not made public that I was the son of the Yondaime himself so that I would have been treated as it becomes the son of the Hokage?"

"You should have been treated as it becomes the person who has to pay the price for the villages salvation. But people only saw the kyuubi inside you. Besides, only few knew that you were the Hokage's son. Just Jiraya, Tsunade and the Sandaime himself, who chose to keep it secret. Your parents have never been married."

"What about my mother?"

"She was a refugee from the Whirlpool country, which was devastated during the Great Ninja War and then annexed by the Fire Country. She had few friends besides your father, and having a child without being married did not exactly make her more popular. She died when you were some eighteen months old."

Naruto had always thought that his mother had died during the kyuubi's attack, just as his father. Now not even this was true. He might even have some relatives who were still alive.

"My mission is now completed", the toad said. "I had to bring you the scroll with the key and tell you what it's for. But though all I have to tell you from Jiraya is said I still want to tell you something of my own: Don't think too badly of your father! He did everything he could to make your life easier. He only sealed the light half of the kyuubi's chakra into you, so that you don't have to deal with the complete demon-fox."

"I have heard that already", Naruto said. "I just wonder why I have never noticed myself. This light half is strong and fierce enough and not in any way nice and friendly or easy to deal with, but all malicious and cunning."

He could not help but admire the Yondaime, who had been ready to face the complete kyuubi.

"I will leave now", the toad said, "and return to my people. I wish you luck: Make wise use of the key!"

And within one second it had vanished.

Going through the door to his room Naruto again found himself in the place in the front of the kyuubi's cage.

"Now you know", the demon-fox said. "The Yondaime who is responsible that we are stuck with each other was your father."

"Yeah. He thought that we might get along better. Without you getting out of control all the time, and without me having to beg for chakra when I need it."

"You mean that he wanted my chakra to be all yours, and the control over it all yours as well."

"Indeed."

"And after having been split into two parts I should dissolve altogether and be free only when you die."

"It seems so."

"And he also expected me to be happy with it and try to get along with you."

"He did not expect you to be happy. Yet it cannot be helped: You had to be confined after your attack to Konoha as it showed that you are evil and malicious. You will destroy everything that's in your way."

"Oh, will I? How do you know?"

People had told Naruto about the kyuubi's attack on Konoha. People had told him how he had attacked Sakura when the kyuubi was in control.

"I saw the wound in Jiraya's chest", he finally said.

"And you are sure that this was caused by me? Don't forget that I am the ligth half: Day, not night; warmth, not coldness; summer, not winter: Joy, hope and laughter instead of sorrow and despair. How could I be evil?"

"Why should I distrust Jiraya?"

"You don't have to. He tried to attack me and to subdue me, that's all. Would you not fight a person who tries to take your freedom?"

"He wanted to give me back my freedom", Naruto replied.

"So you see, we are stuck with each other; each of us can only be free at the price of the other's destruction."

"Maybe. And I will see that I am the one who survives."

"Until you die of old age, or in some fight. You are not immortal, contrary to me."

"I have never longed for immortality", Naruto answered. "And if I stay in control for all my life it is enough for me."

"Anyway I don't want to discuss the Yondaime's actions with you. I called you to propose you a deal: You don't use the key and I will help you find the Uchiha boy."

"Sasuke?"

"Neither of us wants to face Itachi at the moment, do we?"

"So how are you going to help?"

"I will lend you my sense of smell."

"And why should I trust you that he really is where you tell me?"

"You won't have to trust my word. I said that I would lend you my sense of smell, meaning that you will be able to smell him yourself."

"Deal!" Naruto answered. "You lend me your sense of smell, and I won't use the key."

There's no problem with such a deal, Naruto thought. I could not make use of the key anyway, as I have not yet worked out how to use it.


	22. Suigetsu's Story

South had turned out to be the correct direction: after a few days, Juugo's bird told them that there was a rumor among the animals about a young boy travelling on his own, choosing paths through the wilderness during the day, but seeking out the towns for the night, a boy with a huge amount of chakra and with some other rather strange and evil chakra beneath it. He was not very fast, and his general direction was South.

"We'll have to be faster and catch up with him", Sasuke announced.

Soon they got closer, so that Karin was able to sense his chakra, and then Naruto changed direction and moved North, obviously intending to meet them. Sasuke ordered his team to move sidewards, and they obeyed, though they were frowning.

"I want to see that he's safe", Sasuke explained. "I don't want to meet him. Karin, who else is in the area? Any Akatsuki members around?"

"Not close enough for me to sense their chakra", she answered. "Which means that they are still pretty far away."

So Sasuke had not yet to worry about any immediate danger for Naruto, and he split up his team into pairs: Suigetsu with Karin, Juugo with himself. Juugo had not had any of his homicidal fits recently, still Sasuke felt safer if he was nearby to control him if need be. Karin and Suigetsu seemed to get along fairly well, even though Suigetsu occasionally returned with some bruises that were probably Karin's doing.

He did not know what Naruto used to track them, sense of smell or sense of chakra or even something else, so they exchanged clothes and Karin used a jutsu to mix up their chakra signatures in order to confuse him. Only for the night they met again: Sasuke wanted them to be able to protect each other if anything should happen. He did not want Karin and Suigetsu to be on their own when they were attacked, rather would he put up with their frowns when he sent them away the next morning.

He knew what they were thinking, and he knew that they had a point, still he could not bring himself to meet Naruto.

Then Akatsuki drew near: Karin told them that in the East she had sensed the chakra of the man and the woman who had fought Naruto and forced him to take the demon-fox' form. Also there were some other people drawing near from the West, but they were still far away and Karin did not recognize their chakra.

Sasuke hated himself for doing it, and he did not look into Karin's or Suigetsu's eyes, but still he did it: He sent the two of them in the direct line between Akatsuki and Naruto while he and Juugo would go to Naruto's other side and then move West, trying to lure him away from the Akatsuki. As it was he was luring him to those other people but he did not care about them at the moment as they were still far away and as they might not be dangerous.

He had thought of taking himself the position between Naruto and the Akatsuki, but he did not want to risk luring Naruto towards the Akatsuki. He gave Juugo's bird to Karin and Suigetsu so that they could alert him and Juugo if the Akatsuki got too close. He told them explicitly not to wait until they were actually attacked but to allow for some time so that he and Juugo could come to their aid, and still he was scared: Karin had never been of much use in a fight, and Suigetsu was no match for these Akatsuki members. He would have been good against Kisame, but not against those others... He just hoped that nothing would happen.

They were all moving West now.

The second evening Suigetsu spoke up: "How long are you going to continue this game you are playing with your friend? Though at the moment you are not behaving as if you were his friend."

Sasuke did not answer. He had suspected that at some point his team would protest, and he could not blame them.

"It's getting ridiculous, and when Akatsuki finally attacks, it will get dangerous. It's a waste of time and a waste of energy. It would be much easier to watch over your friend and protect him if we had him with us. Hell, we could even take up our search for Itachi."

Sasuke still did not answer.

"It's not as if he could capture you and take you to Konoha at the moment."

Sasuke did not answer.

"There is something else you should know", Karin said. "His chakra signature is getting weaker. I suspect that he is running out of food, and maybe also out of water, and considering the game we are playing with him he's likely to run out of hope as well."

"Nonsense. I have never met a guy with as much chakra as Naruto, and he is the last one who will run out of hope - I mean, it's absurd that he has been chasing me until now, so why should he give up just at this moment when I am so near?"

"What's really absurd is our behaviour", Karin said. "I mean, we are doing our best to protect him against Akatsuki, and at the same time we let him die of hunger or thirst or despair. Also there is the question of the people who are approaching from the West. It's actually one from the North West and two directly from the West. We still have no idea who they are and whether they are dangerous."

Sasuke did not answer.

"Now it's your turn", Suigetsu said. "I hope you have a really good explanation."

It took Sasuke some minutes before he finally spoke: "He is annoying and constantly getting on my nerves. He does not know how to be silent, he does not know how to respect other people's personal space, he is always trying to get everyone's attention, always bragging and showing off. In fights, risking his life in a brave and showy way is more important to him than actually winning the fight, and he cannot stick to plans but rather surprises friend and foe by the sheer stupidity of his actions. Even when he is really acting heroically, trying to save someone else's life, it is not for the other person's sake but to show his own worth and to finally get some recognition.

"As a kid at the ninja academy I watched him from afar and pitied him because everyone hated him, even though he strove so hard to win their love. It was heartbreaking and pathetic at the same time to watch him doing everything he could to win the recognition of people who were far beneath him, and never succeed, and I did not know whether to feel sympathy or despise him."

"Well, most people want to be loved", Suigetsu said.

"I don't."

"We know that already. For you, people who love you and care for you are just a nuisance because they might hinder you when you are foolishly risking your life."

"Whatever." Sasuke had no intention of discussing that matter. "Naruto was the other extreme: Wanting to be loved at any price, and not caring whose love he was attempting to win. The only exception was I myself: Me he hated and envied, and when we were put into one team, he would do anything to show that he was better than me, no matter how much damage this would cause to the team. He was unbearable, hyperactive, childish."

"Now, I know more people who can be very childish", Suigetsu said.

"And then, when it was already too late, when I was on the point of leaving Konoha, he suddenly declared himself my friend. It was the worst moment he could have chosen."

"It seems to me that you are both quite good at being friends as long as the other one is far away. Only that this is a luxury we cannot afford at the moment. But it does not seem so absurd to me to tell a person how much you care about them when they are about to leave. You don't do it when everything is fine."

"It was still the worst moment." Sasuke was not sure whether he wanted to tell this story, as it was still one of the worst memories of his life, and he felt embarrassed about it as well. But it was on his mind, as it was his most important reason for not wanting to face Naruto.

"It was the only time in my life when I did not care for him. I had always cared for him, even though we did not get along, but at that time I did not. I had just met Itachi, and I was out of my mind. Itachi had defeated me without any effort, and I was ready to pay any price to get stronger than him. Not only to give myself over to Orochimaru and spend three years with him, but even to kill Naruto. Itachi had told me that it was necessary to kill my best friend in order gain the Mangekyou Sharingan, so Naruto made me realize that he was my friend - my only and therefore also my best friend - just at the moment when I would not love him back for this but kill him. It was by sheer luck that I did not succeed. There you have it!" He spat the words at Suigetsu. "The reason why I won't kill just because it's convenient. I tried to do it once, and I have repented ever since."

Now he had told it - the one deed in his life he was most ashamed of. His three listeners sat silent for some minutes.

"But you did not do it", Suigetsu finally said, carefully choosing his words. "You could have done it, but in the end you decided against it. I was not so lucky - or so brave."

Everyone's attention turned to him.

"Killing your classmates was not part of the final exam of the Hidden Mist's ninja academy any more when I took it: That had been abandoned several years before. But the attitude behind it was still alive, and a child as myself whose parents had never taught him to respect their fellow humans' lives and health was not restrained but encouraged. Formally of course I was told off when I threatened or hurt my classmates during lessons, but my teachers made sure to let me know that they only did it because it was their duty, while personally they admired me for being cool, rebellious and unscrupulous and having the right fighting-spirit.

"In our free time we formed gangs that were engaged in what we called wars against each other, though it was more stealing and pulling stupid pranks on each other than actual fighting, and when there was no other gang around, we fought among ourselves. We were cruel and careless even when we fought against our companions - I don't think that I have ever had any friends. I had heard about friends in the stories our teachers told us, friends who were ready to protect each other with their lives, and I admired them and longed for such a friend myself, but I had never learnt to behave in a way that would have won me such a friend.

"More than once one of us would get seriously hurt because of our fights among friends, as we called them, because we knew not better, and with seriously I don't mean a scratch or a bruise or something a nurse would put some iodine on and then would let us go again - I mean wounds that had to be sewn up or even broken bones that meant that the kid in question had to spend some weeks in hospital. No one told us that this was wrong - parents and teachers would shrug it off, saying: What do you want? They are boys, playing wild, rough boyish games, and accidents are bound to happen. Do you want them to be some wuzzies who cannot bear any pain?

"Only when one of us got killed it was not an accident any more, not bound to happen. I had fought against a friend of mine, well, not a friend perhaps, but only a companion, but he was the boy whom I visited or who would come over to my place when it was raining and we could not play outside, and then we would build fortresses in our parents' living rooms from wood and paper-maché. We would collect stones and grass and stick them on top of the towers and into the courtyard, and then we would man the fortresses with tin soldiers and re-enact famous battles from history and tell each other stories we had heard and invent adventures for our favorite action figures and tell each other about the heroic deeds we wanted to do when we were grown up.

"We had fought, as we had often done, surrounded and cheered on by the other members of our gang. I had won and was straddling him, pressing his face into the mud. The rest of the boys encouraged me to press him down deeper, making him pay the price for his weakness. He was first struggling, then laughing in defiance and saying that the pain did not bother him and that next time he would defeat me, then he was panicking and pleading, and in the end he was silent and then fell all limp. For a second I panicked as well, then I got back to my old cool self. When I met his parents I stared them right into their eyes. They tried to get me punished, but in the end it was again: They are boys, playing wild rough games, and accidents are bound to happen. Only I knew that it had not been an accident and that I should have let him go...

"Soon I became leader of a gang myself, and my companions admired me for my ruthlessness and tried to become as cold-hearted and unscrupulous as I myself. From my teachers, I got no reproaches at all, and soon I stopped thinking about my friend, and if I thought about him, I did not remember the rainy days we had spent together, but thought with pride about what I had done, proud of my mercilessness and because I had not allowed any sentimental feelings get into my way.

Well, and this was my life until I got captured by Orochimaru. I have told you about it now - I could understand you if you sent me away."

"No, surely not", Sasuke answered. "You have always been a valuable companion."

He opened his arms and embraced him rather awkwardly.

"Tomorrow we will decide how we will go on."


	23. Open Cruelty

Naruto had indeed almost run out of food. Water was not a problem as there were enough streams in the wilderness, but what was really getting him down was not the prospect of dying of hunger - he knew that he could go on for quite some time even without food, as his chakra reserves could make up for this - but the fact that Sasuke seemed to mock him: Always staying within reach, and never letting him catch up.

Naruto had been chasing Sasuke for three years, first to save him from Orochimaru, then just to get him back to Konoha. His impression had always been that Sasuke did not care for him and fought him because he wanted to be left alone. Naruto could cope with that: One day he would make Sasuke care and thank him for bringing him back in the end.

He could not cope however with this open, active cruelty: Making him think that he could meet him in less than a day and then evading him again. If he had gone, hurrying away in order to meet Itachi, Sasuke's behaviour would have made sense to Naruto, but he did not know what to make of the impression he had got now: That Sasuke had fun tormenting him.

"I will give you some of my chakra", the kyuubi suggested to Naruto when he was downcast again.

Naruto had taken to talking to it almost all the time, because there was no one else to talk to.

"I don't need it", he answered now. "I have enough chakra of my own."

"It's getting thin, if you haven't noticed. It feeds on your optimism, and your optimism is breaking down."

"I have been able to go on for years, when everyone told me that it was useless to look for Sasuke. I can go on now."

"But formerly you thought that you just had to capture him and force him to return. Formerly you were able to pretend that Sasuke was just out of his mind, with his fixation on taking revenge on Itachi. Now you cannot pretend any more: Sasuke obviously has abandoned his search for Itachi and prefers to torment you."

"So what do you suggest?" Naruto asked. "Shall I abandon my search and return to my team?"

"You shall continue your search. I will lend you my chakra, so that you will be able to catch up."

"No", Naruto replied. "I will continue with just my own chakra."

One day after this discussion Naruto discovered that there had been a change in Sasuke's and his team's movements: They were no longer moving according to some random pattern, but were going West, clearly trying to lure him to go into the same direction. Also they did not mix their scents any more so that now he could clearly distinguish Sasuke from his companions, and from that as well he could see that they wanted him to go West. He could even see or rather smell the reason for this: The two Akatsuki members whom he had fought some time ago were drawing in from the East. So Sasuke does not only mean to torment me, Naruto thought. He wants to keep me safe from the Akatsuki - he still cares.

Renewed hope made his chakra reserves fill up quickly, and he increased his speed when he continued pursuing Sasuke. Finally I might catch up with him, he thought. But then he caught someone else's scent, approaching him and Sasuke from the West, and as the kyuubi had not only lent him his sense of smell, but also his memory for smells, he knew who it was.

"Now it's time for you to give me some of your chakra", he told the nine-tail. "I want to catch up with Sasuke today!"


	24. The Canalized River Chapter 24: Don't Fight the Sharingan when you are on your own!

Sasuke had decided that he would not again send Karin and Suigetsu between Naruto and the Akatsuki. He did not want to put them into such a danger any more. Still he had not yet found the courage to face Naruto, though in his heart he knew that he would not be able to put it off much longer.

"The animals have told me that there is another one of Akatsuki's evil places out there", Juugo informed the rest of the team when they had breakfast. "One of their hideouts where they store that weird chakra. It's just in our direction."

"And besides, there are those three people I told you about three days ago", Karin added. "Those who have been approaching us from the West. They have drawn near now."

"So that we are circled. Fine", Suigetsu said.

Sasuke had the impression that Suigetsu was blaming this on their avoiding Naruto. He tried to find the logic behind this accusation.

"How far are they?" Suigetsu asked.

"Not far. Some kilometres."

"What?" Sasuke said, waking up from his own line of thoughts. "Why did you not tell me earlier?"

"My bird was with Karin", Juugo answered.

"And I was busy keeping Naruto away from the Akatsuki members", Karin added.

So now he had truly led them into danger...

"I will meet these other people", he said. "Karin, can you tell who they are?"

She performed the seals that pushed her sense for chakra to its highest level. "It's the raven - I could not mistake its chakra for anyone else's - the other - I am not sure as I have only once met his kagebunshin, but I think it's Itachi - and the third person I don't know but it must be Kisame."

"So there's no time to lose", Sasuke said. "I will deal with Itachi, you three will see that nothing happens to Naruto."

"Nor to you", Suigetsu said, raising his brows. "I am not much good against the genjutsus your brother uses, but we will be your back-up. Take care - we still need you."

Sasuke met Itachi at some hundred metres' distance from the hideout's entrance, waiting patiently for him, the raven sitting on his shoulder.

"So you've come at last", Itachi said.

It was not what Sasuke had expected. "Can't wait to be killed, can you?" he replied. "It must be a relief to you, ending your wretched, evil, friendless life, just as it will be a relief to the rest of the world."

"Still clinging to your revenge, Sasuke", Itachi said. "And I had already got the impression that you had found some wisdom and abandoned that plan..."

"What wisdom would there be in letting live a murderer as you?"

"Ah, Sasuke, there's still so much you don't know. I don't hate you, and I don't want to fight you, or kill you, for that matter. I just want to talk."

Sasuke had a hard time to focus on what he really wanted to do: fight Itachi. His brother's voice was soft, and melodious, and it got straight into his soul, making him wonder whether it might not be wiser to listen to Itachi - maybe there was indeed some wisdom he could learn from him. Maybe he would at least be able to understand why Itachi had killed the clan and let him alone live. And at the same time there was this other part of his that was mad with anger and fear and that just wanted to attack in order to eliminate the source of his sufferings so that he would never suffer again.

I must remain rational, Sasuke told himself. This time I don't fight to avenge my clan. This time I fight to protect Naruto and my team. I cannot afford to lose.

But he had to force himself to remain calm and to keep fear and anger and the memories of his sufferings and his previous defeats deep down in his heart.

"Won't you even hear me out?" Itachi asked in his softest, gentlest voice, sweet as a violoncello.

"What wisdom can be learnt from a murderer?" Sasuke replied. "There's nothing you might say that I would want to listen to."

"How do you know, little brother, if you don't care to listen?"

This time Sasuke did not answer but attacked: several times, from different directions, using his high speed jutsu. Itachi - the real Itachi, not some kagebunshin - fought him off without any effort, and with his bare hands.

"How boring", he said. "Is my presence still so overwhelming to you so that you cannot come up with anything new?"

Sasuke was feverishly thinking about the best strategy. No genjutsus of course - Itachi would easily see through them, He would be lucky if he could defend himself against Itachi's genjutsus. His favorite weapon, the chidori sword did not work against Itachi - so much he knew now. He had trusted on it plus his high-speed jutsu to defeat his brother... So what remained? The snakes. Sasuke did not really like them, as he still thought of them as Orochimaru's creatures, not his own, but now two of them were crawling on the floor, winding themselves around Itachi's ankles. I have to distract him, Sasuke thought and created a genjutsu to make his brother believe that he was attacking him again with his chidori sword.

"Don't you want to know the real reason why I killed the clan?" Itachi asked. Sasuke heard his voice from his side, just next to his ear, while Itachi's clone dissolved when he was attacked by the snakes.

When had he created that kagebunshin?

"I'm not interested in hearing the excuses you have made up for yourself to justify the murder of so many innocent people", he said.

"Still a fool like all the others. Still a child, believing in what the grown-ups tell him about right and wrong. When will you grow up and realize that for the strong there is no such thing as right and wrong, nor good and evil, but only their own wishes, and their own capacity."

"The capacity to kill a bunch of innocent people who happen to be weaker than you", Sasuke said. "What for?"

"They were pathetic fools, just as yourself", Itachi answered, "lacking the courage and the willpower to push their capacity to its limits, and use it. They would have been a burden. You can still decide: Be a fool and a burden, so that I will have to kill you as well, or grasp the power that is within your reach and then be at my side, ruling the world together with me."

"I am not interested in world domination", Sasuke replied. "My only goal is to see you dead."

Still he could not help being tempted by the vision Itachi had spread out in front of his mind: He and Itachi, brothers again, ruling the world of ninjas, deciding about good and evil.

It's a genjutsu, he tried to tell himself. It's not true. It's not what I really want.

"Ah, Kisame", he heard Suigetsu's voice from some distance, and from another world. "I have waited long for this opportunity to fight you and gain the great Samehada."

There were some seconds of silence, then Karin spoke: "You won't touch him, bloody bitch. You won't get anywhere near him."

She must have met the female Akatsuki member, Sasuke thought, and I have lost my backup. What had happened to Juugo? And to Naruto?

"We Uchihas are meant for world domination", Itachi continued. "It's what we got the Sharingan for: To control the tailed beasts, and to control people's thoughts. Our clan got lazy and cowardly and chose to serve instead to rule. I have chosen to rule."

"Well, I haven't", Sasuke flatly replied. "You don't need me, do you?"

The forest around him had suddenly ceased to exist, and instead he was in a high hall built of granite, with small coloured windows just below the ceiling, so that it had to be lit by candles. Tapestries with strange geometric patterns covered the naked stone of the pillars and walls, and on one end there were three thrones. Itachi was sitting on the one on the left, and he offered the one on the right to Sasuke, but on the one in the middle sat the raven.

It was a genjutsu, and in theory Sasuke knew how to deal with it: Stand up to your opponent while you were in it, and at the same time find the way out. Only that there was no way out...

"You should know better", the raven said. "You are in your own heart - there is no way out for you. You have always longed for power: Here you have found it."

"Power maybe", Sasuke replied. "But not to rule the world. Only to kill Itachi."

"It's all the same. You wanted power and you wanted to be high above normal people."

Sasuke struck in anger and without thinking, not with his katana, but with his chidori blade, yet the bird dodged it by simply flying up.

"In here, your weapons are of no use", the raven said. "It's your own heart, and you will only hurt yourself. But I have to thank you: You have served us well, bringing us the jinchuuriki."

Sasuke followed the bird's eyes in horror: On the right, on some kind of altar, Naruto was lying unconscious. Was he real or was he part of the genjutsu? He could not afford to think about it now: With two steps he was at Naruto's side, his sword raised to keep Itachi and the raven off him.

"Don't touch him", he said.

"Together we will control the beast - together we will rule the world", Itachi said. "You know that we can do it."

Sasuke knew that he could do it, and suddenly he realized that Itachi could not. This was why they needed him.

He reached out for Naruto with his right hand, while in his left hand he still held his sword.

"You can cooperate with us willingly", Itachi continued, "and we will let you have a share of our power. We might even try to find a way to let the jinchuuriki live. Or we will force you to cooperate, and make you follow our orders. You know that we can."

For a split second Sasuke saw the pattern of the Mangekyou Sharingan blink up in Itachi's eyes. He did not use it, but the threat alone was enough to make Sasuke panic. The fear of the fear of the pain... He clutched Naruto's hand, and suddenly Naruto returned the grip, and they were back in the forest, Naruto standing at his side, clinging to his right arm.

"Don't fight the Sharingan when you are on your own", Naruto said. "I thought that you would know that."

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke replied. "It's far too dangerous for you."

Only because the real Naruto was here it had been possible for Itachi and the raven to create the illusion of the unconscious one on the altar.

"Now keep to my side and don't let go, so that I can protect you", Sasuke said.

"Like hell I will let go off you again", Naruto replied.

Sasuke could not believe it: Naruto was beaming. Did he not realize the danger they were in? He was barely able to keep himself from panicing: Fighting off his brother and the raven with his chidori blade and at the same time protecting them both against their genjutsus was stretching his strength to its limits. The latter of course was easier now with Naruto at his side, because as long as one of them stayed out of the illusion, he could help the other get out of it as well. Only if both of them got caught at the same time they were lost.

Naruto had created a bunch of kagebunshin, as if he had not changed since the time when he had been twelve and kagebunshin had been the only jutsu he was really good at, so that he created them automatically at the beginning of every fight, trying to defeat his opponent by the power of sheer numbers.

Some of the kagebunshin attacked Itachi, who fought back and made them vanish easily. Two stayed with Naruto and helped him form his spiralling sphere. They were not the only ones: Groups of clones were standing everywhere, forming similar spheres.

"Have you learnt nothing new?" Sasuke asked.

At last Naruto's smile vanished from his face, and the clones vanished as well. Naruto began to create something else - he did not use any seals, and Sasuke was unable to understand it, so he activated his Sharingan. He had never used it on anyone who fought at his side, but he needed to see through Naruto's technique so that he could support him if need be. Though coming to think of it, he had rarely fought alongside anyone in his life. Naruto was the only exception.

He had been off guard for the fraction of a second, and this had been enough for the scenery to change again, back to the hall of granite. Naruto had fallen into the genjutsu as well and could not help him out again. Only that this time, I will be able to find a way out, Sasuke thought, because I know now that this is not a true image of my heart, or my heart's true desire: I don't long for power, not even to kill Itachi - my true desire is to keep Naruto safe.

"It's over", Itachi said, smirking. "I have caught you both."

Sasuke cast a genjutsu, and Itachi who had not payed attention in his triumph could not defend himself against it. It was a stalemate now: Both of them caught in each other's genjutsus, but from the corner of his eye Sasuke was watching Naruto form this new jutsu thing of his: A giant shuriken made of pure wind chakra.

"Three blades are enough, idiot", Sasuke said. "Leave the forth arm blunt, or you'll hurt yourself."

Thank goodness Naruto did not let the insult keep him from accepting the advice. He was smiling happily, in a way that was completely inappropriate to the situation. He was finishing his shuriken thing, while Sasuke was looking for a way out of the genjutsu. He had to locate the true Itachi before they could use whatever Naruto was creating. Before Naruto could use it...

"It's not stable", Sasuke said. "You can't throw it like that."

"It's not meant for throwing", Naruto said. "It's meant for hitting."

If this was not truly idiotic - a shuriken that was not meant for throwing.

He reached out with his left hand, the one that was still holding his chidori blade, and laid it on Naruto's right one. He let his lightning chakra flow into the wind shuriken, and at the same time Itachi's genjutsu broke down, be it from the additional physical contact or from Sasuke allowing that it would be Naruto who would strike the final blow against Itachi.

"In front of you, forty-five degrees to the left", he said. "I still have him in my genjutsu, he cannot see the attack - now throw that damn thing!"

Sasuke had not expected the flash of lightning when the Shuriken was thrown. Neither had he expected the recoil to be so strong that both he and Naruto were thrown a few steps back, while Itachi seemed to be blown away by the sheer energy of the thing, even though it had not been a perfect hit.

He had not expected either that the raven possessed the Mangekyou Sharingan.


	25. Two not so sexless angels

Naruto found himself kneeling on the lawn below the still barren trees, exhausted, with a terrible pain in his left shoulder, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. It had beeen a nightmare of a genjutsu, not knowing where he was and what and who was around him, the only certain thing being Sasuke clinging to his left arm.

Finally he had found him, and he had not rejected him, nor attempted to kill him, but he had protected him and helped him complete his jutsu. Naruto felt a bit stupid that he had needed Sasuke to tell him to leave the forth arm blunt, and he was angry at his teachers who had not seen that simple trick but had rather told him not to use the jutsu at all.

Sasuke wanted him to be strong, he thought. He had even helped him to stabilize the wind shuriken with his chidori, but Naruto felt rather uncomfortable about this: He did not want to depend on Sasuke with what was to become his principal jutsu.

Nothing of all this really mattered now: Sasuke was lying next to him, unconscious, hopefully unconscious. Naruto took his friend's lifeless form into his arms, cradled him, searched for a sign of life and found none: The breath indiscernable, the pulse too weak to be felt - or non-existant. He despaired, tears ran down his cheeks, he pressed Sasuke's body against his own, caressed his cheeks and his hair - that he should have found his friend just to lose him immediately afterwards...

"Don't be dead!" he cried. "Please don't be dead! Why did you have to sacrifice yourself for me again? I never asked you to!"

"Let me out!" the kyuubi said. "I will avenge him."

"Not yet", Naruto answered. "Let me hold him for another while, just as long as his body is still warm, and then let me bury him properly: then you may take over."

Because now that all his dreams were gone, all his bonds broken, his home village forbidden to him, he did no longer care to live. The kyuubi might well take his body and his soul, it did not matter, he might use both to go on a rampage and destroy all the ninja villages, it did not matter either. Just a little while, as long as Sasuke's body was still warm, as long as it still bore some resemblance to how he had looked in life, Naruto wanted to go on living.

He looked at Sasuke's pale face, still beautiful, yet not peaceful as the faces of dead people tend to be in stories, but distorted by pain. He bowed down, so that their cheeks touched, he cried again, clinging to Sasuke's body, for he had no other support in his sorrow.

Finally, when all tears had left him, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He drew his kunai and looked up: The hand belonged to a woman, and there was a man standing next to her.

"You may put that down", the man said. "You don't want to hurt anyone, do you?"

"Who are you?" Naruto asked. "What do you want of me?"

"No need to be afraid", the man replied. "We don't want to harm you, nor do we want to disturb you in your sorrow. But Uchiha Sasuke was our captain, so we have come to look for him."

Sasuke had had a team of his own, Naruto remembered with sudden envy.

"How is he?" the man asked. "Still alive, I hope. You would not embrace a corpse as you do, would you?"

"I am not sure", Naruto answered, and then fear, exhaustion and anger overcame him. "If you are his team, why did you not come to his aid in this fight?" He broke into tears again.

"We were engaged in other fights ourselves", the woman said, laying her hand on Naruto's shoulder again in order to comfort him.

"Now, maybe you can lend me your forehead protector so that I can check whether Sasuke is still alive."

Naruto obeyed, as there was not much danger in giving her his forehead protector. He was still not sure whether he could trust her. She took the metal plate and held it in front of Sasuke's mouth and nose, and soon the shiny surface turned blind. Naruto felt stupid because he could have come up with this himself, but then he was overcome with relieve and his tears were tears of joy.

"Will he live?" he asked the woman.

"Probably", she answered. "Can you put him down?"

Gently he let Sasuke glide into the grass without breaking the physical contact. The woman reached out to open Sasuke's clothes, but catching her wrist, Naruto stopped her.

"Don't touch him", he said. "You may say that he is your captain, but how do I know that I can trust you?"

"You should not trust her", the man said. "She is a perverted old bitch who's only thinking about molesting pretty young boys when they are helpless. So you better take care."

The woman stared at the man, who was just smirking, then she punched his face. The man did not parry the blow, obviously not having expected it, but his head turned into water, and transformed into a head again after she had withdrawn.

"But as chance would have it", he continued, "Karin is quite a competent medical ninja as well. So it would be wise to let her examine Sasuke, but take care that she does not more than is necessary to check on his health."

Naruto watched and listened in wonder, and when Karin turned back to him, he allowed her to take off Sasuke's shirt. These were crazy people, he thought, but he was confident now that they did not want to hurt Sasuke. Still he closely watched Karin, keeping the man's warning in mind: he really did not want her to do anything indecent.

As far as he could tell, she only felt for Sasuke's chakra, moving her hand above his chest and his belly, not even touching him directly.

"That should be enough", the man said. "You are not doing this to have fun. How is he?"

"His chakra level is low, and what's worse, the flow has almost stopped."

"Can you make it flow again?"

"Yes - if you would trust me that I am not doing it to molest him."

"Oh, well, do what you have to do."

She pushed the waistband of Sasuke's pants a few centimetres down, so that the navel was exposed - not more, and Naruto was glad of it. She touched his body with the tips of her fingers, and Naruto watched the rising and falling of Sasuke's chest becoming visible again.

"There are no outer wounds", Karin said. "Do you know how it could happen that he ended up in this state?"

Naruto shook his head. "He was fighting by my side, and just when I thought that we had finally got his brother he broke down."

"Must have been one of their genjustsu things", the man said. "It was quite creepy, seeing you standing opposite your opponents and not moving at all until you suddenly threw that giant shuriken. That was a hell of a jutsu by the way. I would not want you to be my opponent."

Naruto tried to figure out what the man was attempting to convey to him, but before he had succeeded the man continued to speak:

"Anyway, I prefer a decent sword fight to all these mind techniques."

So do I, Naruto thought.

"I have done everything I can", Karin announced, covering Sasuke with her cape. "He will recover, but it will take some time. It would be quicker if I had been allowed to include the lowest center as well, but as you were against it..."

"I just assumed that Sasuke would have been against it", the man replied.

Karin did not answer. "Keep him warm", she told Naruto. "I have not yet fully understood what has happened, but I am quite sure that holding him and keeping him warm were the best things you could have down. You probably saved his life."

Naruto nodded, understanding that she was trying to reassure him. He could not stop wondering about these two people who had appeared from nowhere as if they were two angels, changing his situation from absolutely hopeless to quite fine, strange angels to be sure, always joking and everything but sexless, as true angels are supposed to be, but angels nonetheless.

"Is it safe to move him?" the man asked.

"It should be", Karin answered, waking Naruto from his own thoughts.

"Why?" he asked. "Where are you going to take him?"

"There's an empty fortress not far away", the man answered. "It offers more protection than the open countryside, so we have set up our camp there. Our forth teammate is there as well: He is badly wounded, so you will understand that we don't want to leave him alone for too long."

Naruto nodded again. Emptiness was creeping up to his heart and he fought hard not to break into tears again, this time for himself. He had always dreamt of saving Sasuke, leading him back to Konoha, to the friends he truly belonged to, but now it seemed that Sasuke had found new friends, had formed new bonds, while it was him, Naruto, who was friendless and alone, without any companion but the kyuubi.

"You and me, we will carry him", the man said.

"If you feel fit for it", Karin added. "I am sorry. I should have asked before whether you were wounded."

"It's fine", Naruto answered, though the pain in his left shoulder was now making itself be felt.

"I have the kyuubi sealed inside me, and it takes care of all my wounds."

He had meant to say it cheerfully but his voice broke when he remembered that the kyuubi had been the source of all his sufferings as well - and besides, he did not know how these two people would react to the announcement.

"If you are wounded, I will help carry Sasuke", Karin said, making Naruto's heart drop down.

"It's fine", he said, but he knew that he did not sound very convincing.

"Always looking for an opportunity to touch him", the man said. "Naruto will help me: this is a job for men."


	26. More old legends

When they finally arrived at the fortress the pain in Naruto's shoulder had become unbearable. Karin deactivated some traps they had set up both at the fortress' entrance and the door to the room they were staying in, then, when they had entered, she spread out her and her companion's cloaks so that they could lay Sasuke down, which came as a real relief to Naruto.

Karin immediately turned her attention to their forth teammate who was lying unconsciously at one side of the room. Her companion began to set up their camping stove in order to prepare tea.

"Do you happen to have some matches?" he asked Naruto. "We never needed any, having Sasuke with us."

Naruto lit the stove, and the man put the pot with water on it, then he began to prepare dinner. Naruto helped as good as he could: It was amazing how difficult some things became when you were not able to exert any force with your left arm.

"How does it come that you know my name?" he asked.

"Isn't it obvious?"

Naruto gave him a confused look, then the answer dawned on him.

"Sasuke told us about you", the man said just when Naruto had found out himself.

Sasuke had told his new team about him... He had been envious, but now he saw that there was no need to be: Sasuke might have new friends, but he had told them about him, in a way that made them welcome him and care for him. The thought let everything shine in a new light, and his heart - not only his heart, but all the left side of his chest felt warm and wide.

"So he does remember me", he said.

"Course he does", Suigetsu replied. "He just saved your life, didn't he."

"I saved his life."

Naruto looked down at Sasuke who was still lying unconsciously by his side, pale and breathing flatly. He laid his hand on Sasuke's shoulder: I will never let go again, Naruto thought.

Tea was ready and the man gave some to Naruto. There was nothing more to be done for dinner, just to watch it while it was cooking, and the man decided to leave this task to Naruto.

"If you would excuse me", he said. "I have to look after our prisoners. We locked them up in another room."

So Naruto was left to ponder his thoughts, but there were not many. I am among people again, friendly people, friendly for Sasuke's sake, because they love him... Naruto did not dare to continue this thought, and it was not important anyhow, he rather enjoyed the warmth of the tea and the warmth that came from knowing that he was not lonely and deserted any more.

"I am a jinchuuriki", he said when the man returned.

"Yeah, we know that" the man answered. "We saw you fight against Akatsuki in the demon's form."

"So why did you accept me among your team? Don't you know that the demon can get out of control any time, attacking friend and foe alike?"

"You don't want to leave, do you?"

"No. But so far, everyone's rejected me sooner or later because of the demon, and I prefer it to happen sooner, because then the disappointment will be less bad."

The man sat up, looked at him very seriously for some seconds, then he answered: "I will be honest: We have Sasuke with us, who can control the demon, or at least he says that he can control it, and as he can control Juugo, I trust him to be able to control the demon as well."

"Who's Juugo?"

"Our forth teammate. Sometimes he freaks out and is uncontrollable, except for Sasuke, and I am glad that Sasuke can control him because when Juugo's not freaking out he is a great companion. Same goes for you: I am glad that we can welcome you here because you certainly deserve it, but I am not sure what I would do without Sasuke: I might simply be too scared. I consider myself quite a good fighter, but demons are not really my cup of tea, as little as genjutsus."

Naruto had of course hoped for a different, more positive answer, but for some reason the man's words had not hurt him. After all he might be more courageous than he was ready to admit: Sasuke was still unconscious and not able to control the demon. They were hoping that nothing would happen until Sasuke woke up.

I must avoid the strong feelings that wake up the demon, Naruto thought. Fear, anger, hatred - what about love?

"I think I will be able to control it", he said. "The last times it got out of control it was because people were teasing me about Sasuke."

"Because you like him? I have no problems with that. Besides, he likes you too."

Naruto was confused again. He had the impression that the man was trying to tease him about something, but he did not get what it was. Besides, the man's behaviour was really irrational: Had he not just explained that the demon got out of control when people were teasing him about Sasuke? And the man was doing just this? Yet at the moment the kyuubi was not even trying to break free. Slowly Naruto calmed down.

"You have told me all your teammates' names by now", Naruto said. "Only your own you have kept secret."

"Did I? It was not my intention. I am Houzuki Suigetsu of the Mist."

"I am Uzumaki Naruto of the Leaf", Naruto answered.

"Yeah, we know that already."

"How does it come that you have prisoners?" Naruto asked.

"Did we not tell you? We were fighting against the Akatsuki who were on your trail, and against Kisame, who was with Itachi."

"Did you? Why did you take them prisoner? There's nothing you want to interrogate them about, is there?"

Now it was Suigetsu's turn to look confused.

"You've just told me that you are from the Leaf, haven't you. Sasuke has told us not to kill anyone, except if it was the only way to defend ourselves, and I thought that this was because he is still a Leaf Ninja."

"We don't tend to be that nice to S-class criminals", Naruto said, but Suigetsu's words had made him think. Sasuke forbidding his team to kill anyone - this came as a surprise indeed.

"It was rather difficult," Suigetsu continued. "We had thought that we might take our time, not attacking them but just seeing that you were safe, yet then it turned out that we had overlooked Itachi."

"You overlooked Itachi?" This was an even greater surprise than the last one. "You travelled with Sasuke and did not notice Itachi?"

"I just told you, didn't I?" Suigetsu said with a wide grin. "We were busy watching over you. I wonder that you have not noticed. - Besides, Sasuke himself overlooked his brother."

So Naruto had been right when he had concluded that Sasuke and his team had attempted to prevent him from getting caught by the Akatsuki members, and it had not only been wishful thinking. It did him well to get it confirmed by Suigetsu.

Karin had finished looking after Juugo and joined them. Her face was full of concern.

"I have done what I can. His condition seems stable, but it can change any moment."

"Damn", Suigetsu said. "Sasuke will have to answer for this. Making us pay the price for his childish fear of meeting Naruto. We should have picked you up much earlier", he continued to Naruto, "and then we should have stuck together."

Karin shook her head. "It would not have changed much. They were too many and too strong. We are lucky that we could defeat them. Now, Naruto, I want to have a look at your shoulder. I could see quite well that you were trying not to put any weight on it while you were carrying Sasuke."

The pain had lessened since the shoulder had been allowed to rest, but it was far from fine: For some reason the kyuubi had not been able to heal it.

"Can you take off your sweater by yourself, or shall I help?" Karin asked.

"You'd love to", Suigestu said.

"You may help him", she replied.

Naruto tried to do it himself and found that he had to twist his arm in a way that hurt his shoulder. He was beginning to feel annoyed by their constant bickering: He wanted to get rid of the pain in his shoulder without wondering what Karin might or might not feel when she helped him get out of his sweater or looked after his wounds. Still he could not help paying attention whether she was indeed looking at his naked chest for a bit too long, or touching his shoulder more than was necessary.

Completely unprofessional, he decided. Sakura was much better when it came to keeping a clear distance between herself and her patients. Sometimes Naruto would have wished that it might be otherwise.

"It's out of its joint", Karin declared. "Now I do wonder how something like this happens in a fight."

"Sasuke was dragging at it", Naruto explained.

"He did not want you to get away", Suigetsu said.

"As if I wanted to..."

"And then he felt so embarrassed about showing his true feelings that he passed out. Now I understand what happened."

There was a sharp pain in Naruto's shoulder: Karin had made use of the moment of distraction to push the shoulder back into its socket. Now she touched some points around it, supporting the chakra to get flowing again.

"Better now?" she asked.

He nodded, and again he thought that she was probably touching him more than was necessary. It was not bad, however, rather pleasant, if he was honest to himself: a good-looking, young woman, probably with some experience, looking after his body - if this was not an interesting prospect.

He was much more watchful for Sasuke than he had been for himself when she had finally finished with him and removed the cloaks that still covered Sasuke and then moved her hands above his chest to check on his chakra flow.

"How's he doing?" Naruto asked.

"Better. The chakra is still low, but he will recover."

"And will it be in time?" Suigetsu asked.

"In which time?"

"In time to fight Itachi when he returns tomorrow morning. He's not dead, is he? We have not found his body anywhere."

Naruto remembered the last seconds of the fight: After Itachi had broken down, the raven had turned into a man and carried him away from the site of the fight.

"Itachi's not dead", he said. "And besides, there's that other guy..."

"So we can just hope that Sasuke will be fit in time to fight against this lovely brother of his. Against their genjutsus we are all helpless."

"Not completely", Naruto said. "If it's two of us against one of them we might make it. An old woman I once met told me how: They can only catch one person at a time in their genjutsu, so the other one can get them from behind, or help his comrade out of the illusion."

"Ey! You are useful!" Suigetsu said. "We should have made you join us much much earlier. Now, this is enough!" he continued to Karin. "Time to stop enjoying the sight of his beautiful young body, time to wrap him again into some blankets so that he can get some warmth and get well again."

She glared at him, but obeyed.

Is he still unconscious, Naruto thought, or is he only sleeping? He removed a strand of hair from Sasuke's face and then let his hand rest again on his shoulder, though above the blanket. Pretty as a girl, he thought, and all fragile-looking, but once he had woken up and recovered he would be one of the strongest shinobi of the world again.

"Is there nothing I can do?" Naruto asked. "I mean, I have a lot of chakra - I could share."

Karin and Suigetsu looked at each other.

"I can show you where to put your hands", she said. "Maybe Suigetsu will let you do what he won't permit to me."

"It's not - somewhere private?" Naruto asked. He was not sure where he had got that idea - well, of course he did. Karin's and Suigetsu's constant insinuations did have some effect after all. He felt increasingly uncomfortable.

"There are several points", she said, "some more private than others. I can show you the other ones, if you want. The main problem, however, is to get the chakra flowing again, and that cannot be done by simply giving him a bit of yours. It would be stuck at the point you put it into, without being able to get anywhere else. We have to wait until the channels open by themselves."

"So there's no way to accelerate the process?"

Again Karin and Suigetsu exchanged looks, and Naruto wondered what it meant.

"There's a way, both to share chakra and to get it flowing", Karin said. "But I don't think you would like it."

"Sasuke might enjoy, however", Suigetsu added.

"Anyway, it won't work while he's still unconscious."

"Won't you tell me what you are talking about?" Naruto asked.

"No way! You are too young."

"I am fifteen."

"That's what we mean."

They looked at each other again, and somehow they changed their minds.

"Perhaps you are indeed old enough", Karin said. "You are not a small child after all."

"Just don't include too many graphic details" ,Suigetsu said.

"There are not too many", Karin replied. "It hasn't anything to do with details..." She turned to Naruto. "It's a legend, and I don't know whether there is a true core to it. It is said that if you and your partner are truly in love with each other and have sex, that then not only your bodies but also your souls will unite, and the chakra systems will interlock, so that your chakra will mix and you will be one being.

"It is much more than giving a bit of chakra to this or that point of your partner's body where he needs it: The chakra mixes completely, so that one cannot tell any more which is your and which is your partner's, the flow patterns will synchronize, pressure and velocity will even out, and even the chakra signatures, which are unique to every human being, will change and assimilate. Well, that's what would happen from a medical point view.

"What one experiences - it's said that it is heavenly bliss, like being back in paradise, or returning to the dawn of time when everything was still connected with everything else, depending on which religion you adhere to. I have never experienced it myself, so I can only tell what I know from hearsay.

"It is said to be extremely rare, and even those who are truly in love don't experience it every time they have sex, but only once or twice during their lives, or when they are lucky and live long enough and stay in love for long enough, maybe three times, and all the other times they have to contend themselves with normal sex just as everyone else."

Naruto was still looking at Sasuke's fine, clear features. He felt irritated by Karin's story, and he withdrew his hand from Sasuke's shoulder but then he decided not to let her words influence him and returned it to its former place.

"I told you that you would not like it. But it's not necessary, as he soon will recover by himself, and anyway, you cannot make it happen, and least of all you can make it happen with a person who is still unconscious. I can show you however where to put your hands, if you want. The place where it is at the moment is not too bad, actually, as there are a lot of chakra lines going through the shoulder, connecting the arm and the rest of the body. Another place would be the heart, or the solar plexus, or the lower belly just above the sexual organs, or the point where the legs meet the hips, if that's not too intimate for you."

Naruto looked up, first at Karin, then at Suigetsu. These were the weirdest people he had ever met.

"Do you ever think about anything else than sex?" he asked.

"Oh, sure we do", Suigetsu answered. "Normally we are busy watching over Sasuke and preventing him from doing anything foolish, but as at the moment he is not in a state for this, we are happy to have some time to think about what is really important."

"Speak only for yourself", Karin said.

"Oh, sorry. Karin of course thinks of sex all the time. At this moment she would be very happy to be in your place, and she would be much less cautious than you are."

Again, Naruto felt the impulse to withdraw his hand from Sasuke but then thought better of it: There was nothing wrong or unnatural with his hand lying on his friend's shoulder, was there?

"Anyway, I am quite sure that Sasuke if he were awake would be happy to find that it's you and not Karin sitting at his side."

"How", Naruto asked, no longer being able to put up with all this, "how did you ever manage to get accepted to his team?"

"Actually we did not have to. It was him who chose us. With Karin it took him quite a bit of persuasion, as she was playing hard-to-get-to."

Karin shoot a angry glare at her companion. "Don't let him irritate you", she said to Naruto. "And concerning Sasuke: Just follow your heart."

"And not some other part of your body", Suigetsu tried to complete her sentence.

She could no longer hold herself and punched his head. It simply turned into water and then transformed back into its usual form.

I must ask him to teach me that trick, Naruto thought. It might come useful against Sakura...


	27. What Jiraya doesn't know

"Now to you", Karin said to Suigetsu.

"What about me?"

Even though he could not look into their eyes Naruto knew that they were engaged in a staring match.

"You fought Kisame, didn't you?"

"What's that got to do with it?"

"I want to have a look at your wounds."

"There are none."

"This is not the right moment to be embarrassed. I need to take care of your wounds."

"And I am not even a young boy any more... But it is as I told you: There are no wounds."

"Even if it's only scratches I want to have a look. I want to make sure that they don't develop into something worse."

"You cannot get enough of male naked skin, can you? But I have to disappoint you: I did not fight Kisame, and consequently I am not wounded."

"You did not fight Kisame?" Karin asked unbelievingly. "Then what did you do? I mean, you could have come to Juugo's aid, or backed up the boys."

"I did not fight Kisame but that does not mean that I was lazy. I had quite a hard time talking him out of fighting."

"You talked him out of fighting?"

"Indeed. I persuaded him that he was only cannon fodder for the bigheads of Akatsuki, and more importantly, that Itachi had betrayed him, never telling him about his real position in the organization or about his real aims, which is getting power for him and his littler brother."

"Power for him and Sasuke? What are you talking about? You don't think that Itachi would want to share his power with Sasuke."

"He'll need him as a second-in-command. Come on, do you really believe that Itachi would invite Sasuke to a secret hiding-place just to be killed by him? Or just to kill him? To me it has been obvious from the beginning that he has some other plans for his little brother, only Sasuke himself in his desire to take revenge would not be ready to see it."

"It makes sense", Karin said.

Naruto considered giving to them his own, better-founded information, but he decided not to: He'd tell about it when Sasuke would listen as well.

"So you told Kisame your ideas about Itachi's plans, and he believed you and decided not to fight you."

"Yep. It was quite a bit of work actually. Chopping off his head would have been much easier, and quicker in the bargain, but as Sasuke does not want us to kill anyone..."

Again there was this weird idea of Sasuke having turned into a philanthropist who was not able to kill. Naruto could hardly believe it.

"Let me still check whether you are wounded."

"Do you really think that I got hurt from talking?"

"I don't know whether I can believe you..."

He did not undress, but he allowed her to move her hands over this chest at ten centimetres' distance to check the flow of his chakra.

"Looks like it's true", she said. "I would never have guessed it."

"I know that you believe that I am only an insensitive brute who thinks of nothing but fighting."

And sex, Naruto added silently.

"I don't", she said. "I - "

"You don't have to tell. But now it's your turn."

Karin looked at him questioningly.

"I can see that you are wounded."

"It's only scratches."

"We cannot afford any of them to turn into something worse."

"I'll take care of them myself."

"Not of the one on your back. I know, you have been biting your teeth, looking first after Juugo and Sasuke whose wounds are far worse, and even after Naruto, but now they are all well cared for and there's time to look after you."

"Are you a med nin too?" Naruto asked.

"No. Karin's our only one, that's why we cannot afford to lose her. You'll tell me what to do, Karin! Just take your shirt off! You won't be the first woman I see naked, and even if Naruto has not seen any naked woman before, I am quite sure that he will survive the sight..."

They are really crazy, Naruto thought, charging the atmosphere so heavily with thoughts about sex that a simple act as looking after each other's wounds becomes a great challenge and can only take place after a long discussion. It did have some advantages that Sakura kept at a clear distance.

Suigetsu was not keeping at a clear distance. He cleaned the rather ugly, though not very deep wound on Karin's back very gently, very carefully, even overcautiously, obviously not wanting to cause her any pain. A real, professional med nin would have cared much less, Naruto thought, and been finished in a third of the time. He would also have grabbed her shoulder much more firmly when he had to move her, not as gently as Suigetsu did, who hardly dared to touch her. It might be insecurity, Naruto thought, as Suigetsu was not a medical ninja after all, but he could see what Suigetsu did not see: that Karin was smiling.

Following her instructions Suigetsu disinfected and then bandaged the wound on her back.

"What about the rest?" he asked. "Do you want me to do it, or do you want to do it yourself?"

His voice had lost its usual tone of confidence and irony, instead it was insecure, deep, and somewhat hoarse.

"You may do it", she answered, and her voice had changed as well; it had become soft and a bit thin.

Suigetsu moved around so that he now sat in front of her. She had turned a bit as well, so that she would meet him, and Naruto could catch a glimpse of her breasts. They were not round and full and defying the law of gravity as those of his sexy-no-jutsu persona did, but rather pointy and a bit hanging, and still they seemed very - well, interesting to Naruto, and he envied Suigetsu who was allowed to see them in full.

Though he could see that Suigetsu was careful not to touch them... Very gently he looked after her wounds, first after the one that was just below her left breast, then after the cut that went right over her right breast, and of course he was not able to tend to this wound without touching the breast. This time he did not ask for permission with words, only with looks, and Karin also answered him with looks alone.

Naruto watched in astonishment, seeing only half of what was going on, Suigetsu meeting Karin's eyes, looking down because he could not sustain the warmth lying in them, looking up again because of course he could not stare at her breasts - and Karin herself looking and smiling and then, when she saw her smile reflected in Suigetsu's eyes, blushing and closing her eyes and opening them again.

Suigetsu returned to his work, touching her very gently, not only the area around the wound itself but also the shoulder, pretending to turn her towards the light so that he could see what he was doing, but even for Naruto it was obvious that this was not the real purpose; he did not simply take her by the shoulders and turn her around as a real medical ninja would have done, he just touched her with the tips of his fingers, very shyly and tentatively, it almost seemed as if he was not even touching Karin, but just letting his fingers hover some tenths of a millimetre over her skin.

"Medical nins are trained not to be too gentle", Karin said, and her voice was deep and came from the deepest depths of her belly.

"Would you want me to be less gentle?" Suigetsu asked, barely able to control his voice.

Karin shook her head.

He went on, cleaning the wound, then clamping it according to her instructions - a few times she winced in pain, but she supressed all urge to cry out, nor did she complain.

At last he had finished. He looked into her eyes again, carefully touching her shoulder, no longer under the pretense of having to turn her around. She smiled at him and suddenly she returned the gesture, caressing his shoulder, his neck, his cheeks. He blushed, closed his eyes, grew more courageous himself, then suddenly they both took each other by the shoulders, drew closer, their cheeks touched, and then their lips, not in a passionate kiss, but just touching and withdrawing as if they still were not sure whether they might dare to kiss for real.

Naruto was not able to turn his eyes. He knew that he should, because he was watching something extremely private that was not intended for his eyes at all, and still it was impossible for him to turn away. Never in his life had he seen anything like this. He had seen Jiraya picking up this or that woman at a bar, mostly women who were easy to get because they were used to trading sexual favors for money or glamour or even for getting some sexual pleasure for themselves. He had seen Jiraya smile at them, invite them to his table, touch first their hands, then their face, then, under the table, their knees, thinking that Naruto would not notice. The women had smiled and allowed themselves to be touched (well, most of them) but never had any of them returned the caresses, they had just let Jiraya have his way and then put his arm around their shoulders and lead them to his room.

Jiraya's book had not been much better: Some forty or thirty pages before the end the heroine would finally admit that she was in love with the hero, and then he would kiss her - no, not simply kiss her, his tongue would ravish the deep cavern of her mouth, he would squeeze her breasts in his hands, torment her nipples, pinch the white tender skin of her inner thighs, enter her first with his fingers while caressing her clitoris, then with his member or his cock - Jiraya would never use the word penis. He would make her moan and scream in pain and pleasure, and the next day the heroine would feel all sore, but she would have had the best sex of her life, which was no surprise since she had been a virgin before that. (Jiraya did not seem to care about little details as this. His heroines had to save themselves up for the hero.)

None of these graphic scenes had moved Naruto as much as what was going on between the two people in front of him: Looking and kissing and touching, feeling insecure and still daring to touch, feeling timid and still having the courage to open up to the other's caresses... not just having the woman, as Jiraya did, or allowing herself to be had, but both open and curious and alive - Naruto had not known that something as this might exist.


	28. What comes first

When Sasuke woke up the first thing he noticed was Naruto sitting next to him, his hand lying on his shoulder. So Naruto was alive, more or less healthy, and safe, at least for the moment. Sasuke had no idea where they were - the room with its bare concrete walls was completely unfamiliar to him - nor had he any idea how they had got there. The worst possibility was that they had both fallen into the hands of Akatsuki, but even then he still had Naruto with him, so that he could protect him if necessary.

He was too exhausted to be really frightened. He would worry when it was time; now he only wanted to sleep.

Naruto was not looking at him, as Sasuke had expected. Curiously he followed Naruto's eyes, saw his teammates and was awake immediately. He sat up so that he could have a better look, and then tell them off, but he ended up watching, no more able to turn away than Naruto. He was fifteen after all, just as his friend.

During the last few years he had convinced himself that he was not interested in what he called "these things". He had focused on training and on getting stronger and had not allowed any thoughts of sexuality or love to distract him, just as little as any thoughts of friendship, although - he had thought of Naruto when he had been falling asleep in his room after a day of training with Orochimaru. Mostly he had thought of the moment when he had decided not to kill him, and he had known that these thoughts were not an unnecessary distraction but kept him sane - they kept him from becoming like Itachi, or like Orochimaru. Yet he had neither looked for new friends at Orochimaru's lair, nor for love, nor for sex.

He had convinced himself that he was not interested in these things, not only because of his revenge, but also because sex in itself held no interest for him. Even when he had been twelve he had not been interested in the pictures of naked full-breasted women the other boys found under their older brothers' or even their fathers' beds. He had taken part in the usual games of looking and saying "ah" and "oh" and even choosing one he declared to be the most beautiful, even though to him they all looked the same, just in order to show that he was as cool and naughty and manly as any of the other boys. However, as he was widely acknowledged to be the best fighter, it had not been necessary for him to engage too much in these games in order to gain recognition, and so he had avoided them when he could. Also he had had the impression that the other boys' principal motive had been showing off as well, only sometimes, when one of them was looking at the magazines ion his own, he had caught a glimpse of some real fascination with these women's bodies, which he could not relate to at all.

He had also taken part in the usual discussions about which of the girls in their class was the prettiest, or the nicest, or the coolest, or the sexiest. He had had no preferences, as a lot of the other boys had, but had found all the girls equally useless and annoying, and their attempts to embrace him were really getting on his nerves, so he just took care to divide his compliments evenly among them so that none of them might feel encouraged.

He was not interested in "these" things. His aim was to get stronger and to defeat Itachi, and he could not allow himself to be distracted.

Still he could not help being touched by the mute communication of looks and kisses and gentle touching that went on between Karin and Suigetsu, even though they were still almost completely dressed. Kissing and caressing and looking...

Sasuke was well aware of Naruto's arm that had fallen around his shoulders when he had sat up. He did not mind it - in fact, though he would never have admitted it, he was glad that Naruto had kept up the physical contact. He would have felt cold and lonely if he had had to watch Karin and Suigetsu without it, but as it was, he could watch and enjoy.

They were getting more courageous now, their kisses less tentative, more intense, Karin's lips moved to Suigetsu's ear, then down along his neck, to his shoulder. Sasuke was not aware of it, but he was identifying with Karin while he watched, not feeling soft female lips on his shoulders but strong masculine muscles beneath his lips.

Karin was tucking at Suigetsu's shirt, kissing the skin that was just covered by it, pushing down the neckline. She looked up at Suigetsu, and Sasuke just hoped that Suigetsu would understand... He had seen Suigetsu half or fully naked more than once, as his companion had never been shy around him, even though he had been teasing him about being gay for quite some time now, knowing the truth much earlier than Sasuke himself.

It was not easy to admit the truth, even to himself. Several times he had accidentally walked into Kabuto and Orochimaru and what he had seen had been disgusting. He knew rationally that using another person for sex or using sex to manipulate another person had nothing to do with being gay or straight, or male or female for that matter, and that there was no way he would do "it" the way Orochimaru did it, and still it was difficult to admit that in principle he longed for the same thing as Orochimaru.

He felt scared, as if he was stepping on a light flat rowing-boat on a fast-flowing stream - and still he knew that it was better than remaining on the shore for all his life.

Finally Suigetsu took his shirt off. Unfortunately Naruto chose this very moment to speak.

"Are they really your team?"

"Yeah, why shouldn't they?"

"I mean, I thought I knew you a bit - I thought that they would drive you crazy."

"They haven't done that before. At least not when I was watching. When I was watching I had a hard time to keep them from killing each other."

Why was he saying that? And to Naruto among all the people in the world?

"How did it happen anyway?"

"I don't know. One minute he was persuading her from having a look at his wounds, the next minute they were kissing."

Karin and Suigetsu became aware that they were being watched. Suigetsu wrapped his cloak around Karin's shoulders, then they got up and went over to the boys.

"We are sorry", Karin said. "We did not mean to..."

"Never mind", Naruto said.

Sasuke felt annoyed and jealous that Naruto had answered before he had. He was still their captain, after all, and Karin's words had been addressed at him.

"It's okay", he said. "Now, what has happened since I passed out?"

"Do you really want to know in detail?" Suigetsu asked back.

Sasuke shook his head in annoyance. "Only the important points."

"We got caught by the Akatsuki who had been on Naruto's trail", Karin answered, more seriously than Suigetsu. "The man and the woman, you know, those who fought him when he had taken the demon's form. Otherwise we would have come to support you."

"I remember. I heard you welcome them. How did it go? Did you defeat them?"

"We did."

"How are you? Did you get hurt?" He looked at the two of them and knew the truth. "How is Juugo? He is still alive, is he?"

"He ended up with the strongest opponent", Karin told him. "The man who had been pursuing Naruto. We had not planned that, it just happened. He turned into the second stage form of his cursed seal, and his opponent, though he was strong and knew a lot of jutsus, could not stand up against the sheer amount of the energy of his chakra. Juugo killed him, returned to his original form, and collapsed."

"Is he dead" Sasuke asked, now really scared. "Don't wait with the most important information until the end."

She shook her head, and he was relieved.

"Juugo is alive, but I don't know whether he will make it. I have managed to stabilize him, but his chakra has dropped to a critical level, and what's worst, the flow between the head and the rest of his body has almost stopped. He won't regain consciousness unless we can make it flow again."

"Come to the point: Can you do it?"

"I have tried everything. I have even considered asking your friend to give him some of his chakra, as he has a lot of it."

Sasuke looked at Naruto whose presence he had nearly forgotten, even though he was sitting next to him, his arm still around Sasuke's shoulder.

"Yet this would not have resolved the main problem, which is the low exchange of chakra between his head and the rest of the body. It is as if the head was repelling the chakra. Infusing a large amount either to the head or to the body would make it only worse. We must be content that at the moment he is stable at a low level, and hope that we find a solution before things get worse."

Having calmed down Juugo repeatedly when he was changing into his Cursed Seal form Sasuke had some idea what was going on.

"I can have a look", he said. "I might know how to unblock the chakra channels and make his head accept chakra again."

"Give him some rest", Karin replied. "He will need it before we try anything."

"Alert me as soon as you sense any change."

"I will."

"So what about the two of you? Did you get hurt?"

"Karin has got some minor wounds", Suigetsu answered. "She fought the female Akatsuki member and defeated her. I have seen to her wounds - she'll be fine soon."

"And you yourself?"

"I am not wounded at all."

"How's that?"

"I did not fight. I talked Kisame out of fighting."

Sasuke gasped. "You - you do have some unexpected talents."

"Everybody's underestimating me", Suigetsu complained in a mock whine. "Even Karin would not have believed that I might be a better lover than some fifteen-year-old boys."

"I have never competed with you over Karin", Sasuke said irritatedly. "Anyway, how did you manage to talk Kisame out of fighting? And why? I thought you could not wait to fight him and gain his sword."

"Ah, now it's my turn to be surprised. Hasn't it been you who kept telling us not to kill?"

"But I mean - Kisame."

"I told him that Itachi has betrayed him and that he was only cannon fodder for the bigheads of Akatsuki."

It's probably true, Sasuke thought. If Itachi dreams of a world where the Uchihas, that is, where Uchiha Itachi rules, with me carrying out his orders, then there is no place for Kisame in it.

"You did well", he said and turned to Naruto. "How are you? I am sorry that I broke down. I hope you did not get wounded."

Naruto stared at him in confusion. "You don't have to apologize for getting wounded while you fight for me", he said.

"Did they hurt you in any way?"

"No. They fled after I got them with my jutsu. I am not sure whether Itachi is still alive. Look, I am sorry about it..."

Astonishingly the idea that Itachi might be dead, killed not by him but by Naruto, did not make him angry, but just left him feeling weirdly empty. Anyway, there were some more important questions at the moment. "You still haven't told me whether you are hurt."

He thought that he was expressing his concern, and showing his responsibility as his team's captain, who has to care for everyone, but to his surprise Naruto only looked hurt and did not answer.

"You dislocated his shoulder, but Karin put it back into place", Suigetsu answered in Naruto's stead.

"I - I dislocated your shoulder?" Sasuke remembered dimly that he had been dragging at Naruto's arm. "Listen, I am sorry, it was not my intention. I just wanted to make sure that you were keeping to my side."

"As if you had ever been in need to make sure of that", Naruto replied. "But never mind, it's almost healed by now. You know, the kyuubi's chakra is healing my wounds. But look, about your brother, I am really sorry. I did not mean to kill him."

"We had to get out", Sasuke answered.

"Naruto, wait a bit", Karin intervened. "Sasuke has learnt it, though it took him some time, and I am sure that you will learn it as well. We are more important than Itachi. Seeing that we are all safe comes first."

"I have always cared for your safety", Sasuke protested.

"But not for your own", Suigetsu replied. "And we damn well need you against these genjutsu thingies."

"How are you feeling?" Karin asked him. "And anyway, what happened?"

"It's okay. I feel a bit dizzy, and exhausted."

Already there was Karin's hand, hovering over his body and checking the chakra flow. He still hated her being so close to his body, but he could not rationally protest against it.

"Indeed, you are recovering", she said. "Some sleep, and some food and drink and you should be fine soon. You should thank your friend. He gave you some of his chakra."

"It's okay", Naruto said. "I have a lot of it, you know. But the other guy, the raven, I mean, he's a man actually and can change his form into that of a raven - "

"I guessed so", Sasuke interrupted him. "No normal raven can have the Mangekyou Sharingan."

"You got caught again by that damn thing?"

"Yes. But it's okay now. We will think about it tomorrow."

He knew that the Mangekyou Sharingan was still the weak point of all his plans to fight Itachi. The raven had used the worst memory of Sasuke's life, the murder of his parents, just as Itachi had done three years ago, and just as three years ago, Sasuke had broken down. He tried to tell himself that he had not broken down completely, that he had recovered much more easily, and, most importantly, that he had not lost his mind, and still there was the fact that he had been helpless against his brother's most lethal weapon.

He tried not to think of it.

"What happened to the Akatsuki?" he asked. "I understand that Kisame is still alive."

"He is, and the woman is as well. She is wounded but I have looked after her wounds and Kisame is watching over her. He will give us a sign when he needs me. Only Juugo's opponent got killed."

Juugo killed him, Sasuke translated.

"Where are they now?" he asked. "Have you made sure that Kisame and the woman won't escape?"

"We are not stupid", Suigetsu answered. "I have barred the door and Karin has secured it with some chakra seals. Besides they are only next door so that we would hear them."

"They won't want to escape", Karin said. "The woman still needs me to look after her wounds, and Kisame won't leave her. She's all that remains to him."

Against his will Sasuke felt pity for them. Seduced and used and abandoned. It was their own fault, he reminded himself.

"It might have been safer to have them with us", he said. "But never mind - it's more important that we are among ourselves tonight."

Now that he had said it he realized that it was true: Being together with the people he had grown to love during these recent weeks was what was most important to him now.

"You should sleep", Karin said. "You'll need all your strength tomorrow."

He nodded. "You'll watch over Juugo", he said. "Suigetsu, I trust you to keep her awake."

"You bet", Suigetsu replied.

Sasuke looked at Karin again, and following a sudden impulse he touched her upper arm (still covered by the cloak Suigetsu had wrapped around her.)

"You look beautiful tonight", he said, and he meant it, for her eyes beamed with happiness and warmth and she seemed more beautiful than ever, even though she had not even cared to take off her glasses.

"It's too late", Suigetsu said, drawing her to him. "You've had your chance."

"I have never been interested in women", Sasuke said. He was surprised that the admission was so easy suddenly.

"Maybe it's me who should be on the lookout", Karin said, putting her arm around Suigetsu's hips.

"I have never been interested in men", Suigetsu answered her. "But you owe me an invitation for dinner now."

"Shall I cook a four-course menu tomorrow or shall I invite you to a restaurant when we are in town again?"

"You shall cook. We had a bet going", he explained to Sasuke. "Since we met the pink-haired kunoichi."

Sasuke gasped.

Naruto gasped as well. "You met Sakura?" he said. "Behind my back?"

"I don't know who you are jealous of, him or her", Suigetsu said, "but you heard him: He's not interested in women, so in either case your jealousy is unfounded."

"Why did you meet her and not even talk to me?"

"You had already left the team, moron", Sasuke replied.

"You could have come before I left."

"Where would have been the point in this?"

"You might have met me!"

"Why should I have wanted to meet you?"

"Why did you want to meet Sakura?"

"To ask her what had happened to you. Why should I have come when I knew that you were still fine and safe with your friends"

"To meet me!" Naruto repeated.

"Stop arguing and try to get some sleep", Karin said. "Tomorrow you will have to fight Itachi's raven companion."

"Don't forget that tomorrow I have a prize to collect!" Suigetsu added. "We have to be alive to enjoy Karin's cooking."

"I will keep watch", Karin concluded. "We will try to be silent."

They withdrew into some corner. Sasuke was still busy coping with the fact that his sexual orientation had been the subject of a bet between his teammates. Only slowly he calmed down: They were making fun of him, but they did not despise or hate him because of his preferences. They treated him as they had always done.

The little boat on its river was swinging less wildly now... He'd have to rethink his relationships to men, to women and to himself. Funnily enough, women seemed to be the easiest of the three. He could be friendly with them now, give them compliments, even embrace them, and still make clear that it wasn't anything personal but that their relationship would go to a certain line and not beyond.

His relationship with himself - he felt strange on his little boat, not knowing where it would take him, and still he felt light-hearted about it, because it was carrying him away from some bleak, barren land.

His relationships with men... this would be the most difficult point. He'd have to find a way to reassure them that though he was interested in men in general there was no danger of him falling in love with them, so that they could still be comrades, teammates, even friends. He'd have to think about it: For the moment he was content that Naruto had not withdrawn his arm.


	29. Being Lucky

Actually Naruto did not think at all about Sasuke's sexual orientation. He was far too busy admiring and envying him: For the way he acted as his team's captain, caring for everything and everyone, for the way his team accepted him as their captain, even for the relaxed way in which he answered to Suigetsu's jokes. Sasuke had left him behind again.

Most of all he envied him for his team itself, caring for each other and making each other's well-being their first priority, but also ready to include others, namely him, into the circle of their concern.

That was what Kakashi had taught them after all, but that was not what they really did - well, Kakashi might, but Yamato did not, with him it would depend on a person's usefulness whether he would protect them or not. The mission came first.

"You can't sleep, can you?", Sasuke said. "I can't either."

"I still have to understand what happened", Naruto answered.

"What's there to understand, moron? We picked you up, and now you are with us."

There were a lot of things Naruto did not understand, for example what had been the matter with that business of watching over him, or why they had suddenly picked him up, or why Sasuke no longer rejected him, or of course why in the past Sasuke had acted as he had, attempting to kill him repeatedly. But he was annoyed with Sasuke's attitude, so he settled for the question that would make him most angry.

"First of all, I cannot understand that you should really be these people's captain."

"Why not?"

"First, they don't seem very respectful."

"They're loyal, that's enough."

"They picked me up against your explicit orders."

It was a guess, not more, from what he had gathered from one or two of Suigetsu's sentences.

"They did not! And besides, they did what was best for the team. They always do."

"You only wanted them to watch over me", Naruto said, even if he was not completely sure about it.

"Not today! Today we wanted to meet you and fight for you!"

Naruto was not sure whether this was true, but he could not disprove it.

"Second, they always think of sex, even when they are not actually doing it."

"So what? They are not a team of first-year-genins I have to look after. They are grown up and free to spend their nights as they want."

"I would not have thought that you would put up with this. You used to be all indignant and blush whenever anyone mentioned the subject."

"I am not twelve any more, if you haven't noticed."

"Even when you were twelve you acted as if you had been nine. Pushing away all the girls: You could have been the first of us to have a girl-friend, you just would have had to choose one of them.

"I think I said it already: I have never been interested in women, nor will I ever be."

Naruto was not sure whether the implication that Sasuke was interested in men was correct. He did not dare to think so. His image of Sasuke, strong, cool, dark and brooding, did not go together with homosexuality. It did not go together with heterosexuality either. Coming to think of it, however, Sasuke's behaviour towards his teammates did not go together with Naruto's image of Sasuke at all.

"Still you should be stricter", he said. "I mean, it's annoying, it's distracting, and it's turning a completely normal situation as looking after my wounds into an act of potential molestation."

"With Karin one has to be careful", Sasuke said. "Though it's got better lately."

"With Sakura, something like this would never have happened. She kept her distance when she was treating my wounds."

"Oh did she? Bad luck for you then. Though I am glad to hear that at last she's given up trying to be a ninja and found a job that's better suited to her."

"You could be a bit nicer. She always cared for you."

"How can one say that one cares for another person and not give a cent for their needs, their wishes or their feelings? I prefer Karin, with her at least it was clear that she only wanted sex, so I didn't have to be careful not to hurt her feelings, as she does not have any. We must be grateful that Suigetsu is now taking care of her needs."

No sound could be heard from the lovers - either they were indeed very silent, or they had fallen asleep. Sasuke seemed lost in his own thoughts.

"Third", Naruto continued his list of reasons why he could not believe that Suigetsu and Karin - he still had to get to know the forth teammate - would be part of Sasuke's team.

"Third, they are funny and warm-hearted. Quite the opposite of you."

"I did not choose them for character but for their skills."

"Ah, a wise decision if you want to form a team that works together."

"It's possible to work together if you are not friends - Karin is a competent med nin with an extraordinary talent for sensing chakra, Juugo can communicate with birds and Suigetsu was the best opponent that could be found against Kisame. Just the talents I needed when I still wanted to fight Itachi."

"When you still wanted to fight Itachi? I mean, what were you doing today?"

"You were running straight into him. I had to intervene."

"You did not have to protect me - I can well look after myself."

"Don't be ridiculous. You'd get lost in Itachi's genjutsu in the fraction of a second. You'd not even notice that you were losing."

"You really think that you Sharingan users are a special kind of people who cannot be defeated by anyone who is not family."

"Actually - yes. Stop being a fool. We barely got away when we were fighting together."

"And you thought that you were good enough to fight Itachi on your own..."

"I could have done it! It's more difficult when I have to protect you!"

"You did not have to protect me! I had to get you out of Itachi's genjutsu."

Still the same, Naruto thought. Never able to admit that he might need me, and that I might be better.

"And what was that business about watching over me?"

"You were in the wilderness on your own, and all the members of Akatsuki who are still alive were closing in on you. Do you really think that you would have got away?"

"I am not a helpless kid that has to be protected! I am a worthy fighter in my own right! It's not only me who says this, but Suigetsu also said that you should have picked me up much earlier."

"Yeah, I know", Sasuke said, suddenly not any more in defensive mode. "He told me more than once."

"He told you? But you are his captain, aren't you?"

"I am", Sasuke said in a quiet, thoughtful tone, ignoring the provocation. "I told you: They are not very respectful, but they are loyal. They will tell me when they think that I make a mistake."

"And take action."

"In most cases: Yes. And in most cases they are right. - I am sorry, Naruto. We should have not evaded you but met and welcomed you much earlier."

"Yeah, it's okay", Naruto answered.

"And I am sorry - for everything else."

"It's okay", Naruto repeated. "It's over now. I am still alive, aren't I."

Sasuke's apologies gave him some satisfaction, but they were not what he really longed for. What he really longed for was to be best friends with Sasuke again.

Still he could not help but notice that he had hurt Sasuke by reminding him that he had attempted to kill him.

"It's over now"; he said, pulling Sasuke to his side - and Sasuke accepted it, he even leaned against him. Naruto would never have expected this.

"My team kept telling me that I should meet you. They were right of course, and I caused a lot of damage by not following their advice. - I told you that I have not chosen them for character, but I have been really lucky with them, as I have been lucky with you."

Finally Sasuke put his arm around Naruto's shoulder, and with his other hand he took Naruto's free hand. The unexpected gesture, the even more unexpected tenderness of Sasuke's touch made Naruto tremble, warmth spread through his body, he was enchanted, paralyzed with happiness, unable to think.

Juugo stirred in his sleep.


	30. Trust

Sasuke could see the Cursed Seal Chakra building up in Juugo even before the pattern of the Seal began to show on his skin. He knelt down next to him, hoping that Juugo might gain consciousness soon, so that he could look into his eyes and get into his mind, but as it was, he could only check the state of his chakra. Its overall level was indeed dangerously low, and the exchange between the head and the rest of the body had dropped to almost zero, which was even more alarming. The level of the Cursed Seal Chakra was rising however, and and Sasuke saw that it made sense that the exchange had stopped: The strange chakra as well was prevented from getting into Juugo's head, so that Juugo would not get controlled by it.

Acting in panic of panicking, Sasuke thought, and it was not even completely irrational. If he could just get into Juugo's mind and subdue the dark chakra, so that his own chakra might flow again - if Juugo would wake up even for one moment.

Naruto had followed him and was kneeling next to him. Sasuke could sense his chakra - and the kyuubi's chakra getting stronger and stronger. That was just what he needed at the moment! At least Naruto was awake so that Sasuke could use the Sharingan on him and get into his mind: The kyuubi was lying behind the bars of its cage, and Naruto was standing outside, curious what Sasuke might do. Yet Sasuke did nothing as the kyuubi was quiet, slowly retreating from the bars.

It took Sasuke all concentration he could muster to be simultaneously aware of Juugo's chakra, of Naruto's mind with the kyuubi inside and of their real bodies and the real room they were staying in.

"I don't want to hurt you", he said to Naruto, taking his hand to reassure him. "I just want to make sure that everyone is all right."

"I guessed so", Naruto answered. "What's happening to him anyway?"

"The Cursed Seal Chakra is awakening, and he's trying to fight it. He's stopping it from getting into his head, only that his own chakra cannot get into his head either. I'd need to get into his mind, but for this I have to look into his eyes."

"Have you tried to wake him up?"

"Not yet."

Sasuke took Juugo's hand, spoke to him: "Wake up!" but as he had expected nothing happened.

Naruto tried as well, gently touching Juugo's hand, then his temple. Sasuke wondered about this audacity, but then Naruto had always been more couragious when it had come to touching people. Sasuke still had his sharingan activated, so that he could see the kyuubi in its cage, lying on the floor, quiet, but attentive, his ears turnt to Sasuke.

Naruto was conferring some of his chakra into Juugo's body: Sasuke could only hope that this would not cause any harm, as Juugo was obviously not able to deal with a lot of chakra at the moment. He gasped when not only some of Naruto's chakra, but also some of the kyuubi's was flowing into Juugo's chakra system. Juugo moved in his sleep, but for a split second he opened his eyes and then fell asleep again - yet this had been enough for Sasuke to finally enter his mind, see what was happening and make an attempt to get things under control.

He found the landscape he had always found when he had been in Juugo's mind: An orchard, confined and protected by hedges of dogroses, and beyond the orchard woods and meadows and fields. It was May now, the trees were in full bloom, and the orchard might have been stunningly beautiful had it not been for the black powder that was lying around everywhere, mixing with the white petals so that the color of the lawn under the trees was some ugly greyish green.

Outside the orchard it was even worse. There the chakra was drifting around in the form of dark clouds, obscuring the sky, attempting to get inside. Still the hedges protected the orchard.

Due to his Sharingan Sasuke had the ability to manipulate what was happening in these mental dimensions. Formerly when Juugo was freaking out, he had had no difficulties making the dark chakra get to the ground and to calming down Juugo, just as he had easily scattered the kyuubi's chakra when he had met Naruto in Orochimaru's lair. Now however that he had to focus on both the kyuubi and the Cursed Seal Chakra he found it beyond his control. It took him all his power to make everything stay as it was.

Well, trust Naruto to make things worse. Suddenly both mental dimensions merged and Naruto stepped over into the orchard that was part of Juugo's mind. He looked around.

"Wow, this is beautiful! Did you create this!"

"I cannot create something like this", Sasuke explained. "It is an image of Juugo's mind. Whether it is my mind or the Sharingan that produces the pictures of the other person's mind, or whether the other person's mind creates them itself I don't know, but I certainly don't make up the pictures."

Naruto did not answer but kept looking for some minutes.

"Is there nothing one can do about that black stuff?" he then asked.

"I might try to make it calm down. But you have to keep the kyuubi in check so that I can concentrate on Juugo."

Naruto shook his head. "I am sorry - I can't. It's the seal that controls the kyuubi, not me. I can only weaken the seal by getting upset."

"Then see that you don't get upset."

"I can only try. I can't help getting upset when the people I love are in danger. It's my feelings, and my feelings are what makes me myself."

Sasuke did not see any logic behind this. What if the people he loved got into an even worse danger because Naruto lost control over the kyuubi?

He looked at the demon fox: It had stood up now and was pressing its nose against the bars of the cage.

"Do your best!" Sasuke said to Naruto. "If things go wrong I'll help out."

He concentrated on the black stuff. The trick was to visualize it calming down and drifting slowly to the ground which in this mental dimension would make it really calm down. It sounded easy but even if you were good at visualizing and forming mental images things might go wrong because the other person's mind fought back and tried to remain as it was, or because suddenly you were confronted with your own hidden fear and pain. It was unpredictable because of the very fact that you had hidden your pain from yourself and thus could never tell which pictures in your opponent's mind or even which of his actions would make the hidden pain come to the surface.

During his years with Orochimaru Sasuke had been confronted with quite a lot of his hidden fears and pains so that he had become pretty strong when it came to fights in mental dimensions, and most of all Juugo's Cursed Seal Chakra had never presented a challenge to him as it did not have a mind of its own and did not try to fight back, not being able to attempt to manipulate his mind or find his fears. Sometimes it had even seemed to him that it was happy when he made it calm down, as a dog might be who feels comforted by his master's presence (instead of just being shouted at and ordered to calm down.)

If he could just concentrate... But he kept thinking of the kyuubi, which was growling nervously behind the bars of its cage, while Naruto was talking to it, trying to quieten it.

Also the chakra had changed its behaviour: It seemed as if suddenly it had become cunning in itself, using every moment Sasuke was distracted to fly up again, or coming up at some point of the landscape while he was focusing on somewhere else, and it was swirling wilder and wilder, threatening more and more to get into the orchard.

Still the dogrose hedges were intact and kept it outside.

At least the kyuubi was still safely confined in its cage, so he did not have to worry about this - but then Naruto himself ripped off the seal that kept the cage closed. Naruto was again at Sasuke's side.

"What have you done?" Sasuke asked.

"It said it would help us get rid of the black stuff for good and free your companion from his homicidal impulses forever."

"And you trust it?" Sasuke could not believe what he had heard. "It did not come to your mind that it might have been lying to you in order to get free?"

"I don't think so", Naruto answered, and Sasuke could only shake his head about his naivety.

"If not, you'll get it under control again."

"I can't", Sasuke answered. "I mean, I can control it, but I cannot seal it. I'd have to be with you every moment, just in case it gets out of control."

Only when Naruto grinned it came to Sasuke's mind that he might think that a good idea. He was being foolish again, not considering the real consequences of his actions.

The kyuubi had now come over into Juugo's mind. It was eating the black stuff, or rather absorbing it into its own body as being a demon it did not have any metabolism. It appeared to draw it in, while the black stuff had ceased to swirl around, or to attempt to get into the orchard, but was flowing towards the kyuubi of its own free will, and the demon welcomed it gladly.

That was it, Sasuke thought. The kyuubi was happy to absorb the black stuff, and the black stuff was happy to be absorbed. He was scared: He could not imagine that a free and happy kyuubi might mean anything good.

But at least in one point the kyuubi had not been lying: It was helping them to get rid of the black stuff.

"Kyuubi", Sasuke called it in spite of his still being scared.

Reluctantly the demon interrupted his feast of chakra and turned to face Sasuke.

"What's the matter?"

"You won't hurt Juugo, will you?"

"I thought that Naruto had already explained it to you: I am freeing Juugo from his homicidal impulses."

"Without killing him?

"Without killing him."

"Get Karin!" Sasuke told Naruto, releasing him from the grip of his Sharingan. "Wake her up, be it from sleep or from whatever - Juugo's more important than anything else."

He kept watching the kyuubi: Most of the chakra that had polluted the landscape had been absorbed by the kyuubi, and fields and woods and meadows were green and yellow again.

"Open the gates!" the kyuubi said. "So that I can get the other stuff as well."

Sasuke was still not sure whether he could trust it. But now Karin was kneeling on Juugo's other side.

"Is it safe?" he asked her.

"It should be", she answered.

Naruto was at his side again, Sasuke did not know how. There were two gates in the fence that surrounded the orchard, overgrown by the dogroses; there they bound down and cut the twigs that were covering the fence. As soon as the first gate was cleared the kyuubi began to suck in the chakra that was lying down inside so that the orchard got free and beautiful again.

There had always been birds in the orchard, but now they began to sing.

"It's okay", the boys heard Karin's voice from another world. "The chakra flow has returned, and soon the chakra will rise back to its normal level. He just needs to recover now."


	31. First look

Sasuke relaxed and turned his attention to Naruto, who was standing next to him, breathing in the fresh air with his mouth and nose and the beauty of the place with his eyes: The azur of the sky, the white of the trees in full bloom, the dark brown of their stems, the light green of the woods beyond the hedge.

"We have to go now", Sasuke reminded him.

"Why? It's lovely here."

"It's Juugo's mind, not yours or mine. And don't tell anyone what you have seen."

"Why not? I mean, this does not seem like anything one has to be ashamed of."

"That's not the point. Beautiful or ugly: it's his mind and it should remain private. People are not meant to see into each other's hearts."

"And still you do it."

"Yeah. That's the essence of the power of the Sharingan: Get into other people's minds in order to see through their jutsus, to predict their actions and to manipulate them. The better one has mastered it the deeper one can see into them and the better one can manipulate them."

"You did not do it just now however."

"Of course not. Juugo's my companion, not my enemy. I want to help him, not to hurt him."

"You were in my mind as well, weren't you?"

"Part of it. It's your visualization of your chakra system, or part of it. I did not go as deep as I did with him, and the images I saw have all been created by your own mind."

"You mean that there's more to my mind than this?"

Naruto was being foolish again, Sasuke thought. "I would be very astonished if there wasn't", he answered.

"Can you let me see it?"

"Are you sure you want it? You want to know what's inside you? And you are ready to let me see it as well?"

"Sure, why not?"

Everyone admires him for his courage, Sasuke thought, and nobody realizes that he is just not able to see any danger.

They left the orchard slowly, turning around one last time as they both knew that they would not see it again. Sasuke led Naruto to the place in front of the kyuubi's cage, but the cage was open now, and the bars were broken. They went around and even had a look into the cage.

"The lowest chakra point", Sasuke told him. "You should now have access to it and be able to fully integrate it into your chakra system so that you finally can become a man."

"Why? What! Why are you insulting me again! I am no less a man than you!"

"I'm not insulting you, I am just telling you how it is. The kyuubi was sealed within you in a way that almost completely blocked the exchange of chakra with the lower parts of your body, subduing as well the production of male hormones. Don't blame me, I did not do it. Karin will confirm it if you allow her to check your chakra system, which I would not advise you to do. I can see your chakra, while she has to sense it."

Naruto looked bewildered. "I don't know who's worse", he said, "she or you."

Maybe I went too far, Sasuke thought. Maybe I should not have told him about this lowest chakra point.

"You still want to allow me to see this visualization of your chakra system?"

"I do."

"Then let's go upstairs."

Corridors and stairs were partly destroyed.

"The effects of the kyuubi leaving its prison", Sasuke explained. "Don't worry, we won't be hurt. It's just your mind after all, and if something goes really wrong I will protect you."

Upstairs there was an equally ruined building, similar in style to the system of corridors below. Naruto wanted to have a look at it, but Sasuke led him outside.

"It's not worth it. It was the upper part of the kyuubi's prison. In a few days it will be completely fallen down."

There was a town around the building: Not a particular beautiful one, nor its particular beautiful parts, but its industrial districts. Most of it seemed deserted and the buildings were in various states of ruin, be it from neglect or from the destructions caused by the kyuubi. Small rivers were running through the town, all canalized, all smelly, with a lot of debris floating on the surface. Some of them were yellow with pollution.

Naruto was looking more and more depressed, and Sasuke was desperately looking for a way out. There had to be one. He looked into Naruto's eyes, his Sharingan still activated, and finally he saw that the town was not completely flat but gently sloped. Now when they came to a crossing and he had to choose a direction he did not choose randomly any more but decided for the road that went uphill.

The slope got steeper but the town went on: Deserted factories, warehouses and workshops. Only if you looked closely you would notice that most of the buildings here had only one or two stores, and that they had been deserted for years so that nature had begun to take over. The patches of wilderness got larger and more frequent and better connected as they went further uphill, until there was mostly wilderness with some bricks and half-broken walls and fragments of streets in between.

The bushes grew higher here and the first birches and pines could be seen, soon there was a wood, or was it an abandoned park? - some hundred metres to the side of them there was a fake temple - and finally after going straight uphill through the wood they found a clearing with a spring in its middle. The ground was covered with grass and yellow flowers which would disappear when in summer the foliage would grow so thick that too little sunlight got to the ground.

Sasuke spread out his cloak so that they could sit down without getting wet from the dew.

"We'll stay here", he announced. "If you like it here."

"Sure I do", Naruto answered with a hoarse voice. He looked around, moved by the beauty of the spot.

"You did not make it up, did you?"

"What?"

"This place - I mean, it's lovely, and the town below was so dreary - you did not make it up to make me feel better?"

"I cannot make up something like this", Sasuke answered. "I mean, have you ever tried to visualize something? Something you made up, or a place out of a dream, or even a real place that you remember? Can you get it as richly detailed as this?"

Naruto looked around: the patches of sunlight between the trees, the dead leaves from last year, the drops of dew, the miniature waterfalls where the stream had to jump over a stone, the wasps and bugs crawling around, the one-week-old beeches with their two dark green leaves that did not look like beech leaves at all. One had them still caught in the beechnut so that it looked as if it wore a hat.

"I can't", Naruto said. "But I thought that you could, being a genius and all. Still that place..."

"I thought you liked it."

"It's so different from the rest. How can that be?"

"I know you", Sasuke said, comfortingly touching the back of Naruto's hand. I knew that this" - he pointed to the town below - "could not be everything."

Naruto took his hand and pressed it. "Yes. Thanks."

He was in thoughts, and moved, and Sasuke left him alone for a while, then he continued: "You know, it sounds all so great, the power of the Sharingan, looking into another person's mind. But to see truly you have to look with your normal eyes first. With Juugo it was the same: I knew him, and thus I knew that there had to be a place as this orchard. If you don't look with your normal eyes first, then with the Sharingan you will only see the ugly stuff, as this town down below. That's the stuff you use to hurt a person, and if you want to be really mean, you'll look for the stuff that's hidden deep below. That, by the way, will be what decides tomorrow's fight: Whether it's them or me who are better at finding the really bad stuff."

"I will be at your side"; Naruto said, pressing his hand again.

Still a fool, Sasuke thought. How does he think that he might help? He has never been good with genjutsus. Yet this time he kept his thoughts for himself.

"How did you learn all this?" Naruto asked.

"What do you mean? Making use of the Sharingan?"

"Yes. Who taught you?"

"There are not so many Sharingan users around who might have taught me, remember?"

"Sorry. You could have stayed in Konoha and learnt from Kakashi, however."

That one hurt. For a moment Sasuke thought that he might have stayed indeed. Then he reminded himself of all he had learnt during his years at Orochimaru's lair additionally to the use of the Sharingan, which he had mastered quite well by himself.

"I had taken some scrolls of my clan with me, mostly historical documents and legends about the clan's origins from the time before the foundation of Konoha. They did not give me any instructions, however, rather hints what to look for. The rest I figured out by myself."

"And that other thing - looking for what is beautiful?"

"I found out when I had to help Juugo."

"Have you ever had a look into your own mind?"

"It does not work with yourself, just as you cannot get out of a genjutsu by touching yourself or as you cannot have sex with yourself."

"It's not that bad", Naruto replied.

"No, it's not", Sasuke answered. Actually he had never really indulged in it because fantasies of women did not turn him on, because he had not yet had the courage to admit to himself that fantasies of men might do and because touching himself without any fantasies did not do the trick. It always took him a long time to finish, which meant that he did not do it often as he had other things on his mind.

"Whatever", he said. "Whom should I have allowed to have a look into my mind? Itachi? He did it without my permission when I went after you and Jiraya and he only used it to torture me."

"I am sorry", Naruto said.

"I am sorry", Sasuke replied. "I should not have let him turn me crazy."

Sasuke sensed that Naruto wished to put his arm around his shoulder. He did not know how to respond to that wish - he did not know whether he actually wanted Naruto's arm around his shoulder. They had got too close in too short a time already... He decided to take Naruto's hand.

"I told you already: It's over", Naruto said. "I am still alive. Don't mention it ever again."

He looked into Sasuke's still activated Sharingan, and suddenly it was very easy: Sasuke just had to retreat instead of entering the other person's mind as usual, and to take Naruto with him.

Naruto knew instinctively that now it was his turn to take Sasuke with him. He rose and offered Sasuke a hand up.

Down in the town they had not been able to see the top of the hill because it had been hidden in clouds, but now the mist had lifted and they could see further uphill. The forest went on and they followed a path that led them upwards; soon they crossed a street and then the forest looked different: brown and dreary instead of bright green. Neither had the trees opened their leaves yet nor were there any grass or any flowers on the ground. As they went on there were patches of snow, first dirty and muddy with a lot of puddles between them, then they got white and not watery at all, and finally the ground was not brown any more at all but all covered in snow.

Naruto looked at Sasuke: His face was blank, immobile, emotionless, more than ever since they had met today. Naruto was not the fool he had been three years ago who was not told anything personal because people thought him too dumb to deal with it. He had learnt to recognize sadness and despair and he realized that he had to do more than just to walk on - he had to find a place that would comfort Sasuke as the clearing with the spring in its middle had comforted him.

Sasuke would not be of any help. He had become all passive by now, just letting himself be led.

Naruto himself found the wintery forest quite enchanting. Even the tiniest twigs were sugar-coated with snow, the dark brown and white forming a delicate irregular pattern, delicate as Sasuke himself, Naruto thought, and the sparkling white gave a great contrast against the bright blue sky. Frozen drops of water covered the twigs' lower sides, and from the stronger branches one icicle grew next to the other.

The ground itself was not all white as Naruto saw now: There were animal tracks everywhere, destroying the perfection of the blanket of snow, there were dark branches that had not been able to support the snow, and the landscape itself even was not all black and white: Young beeches still carried their dry red brown leaves, which looked quite pretty against the whiteness of the snow, and the mountain ashes were full of bright red berries. Great tits and robins were feeding on them. There were a lot of birds around, one just had to look for them, blue tits, chaffinches, blackbirds, wood pigeons, even crows, though fortunately no ravens, all looking for food and apparently finding some.

One of the robins looked at Naruto. The raven with the Sharingan came to his mind, but the robin was quite different. Most of all it was friendly, and also it was probably not a human in bird form. It seemed to call him, and Naruto followed it taking Sasuke by the hand and dragging him with him. They left the path, went through thickets to a patch of fir trees with low hanging branches full of snow. When they left the firs the snow was on their shoulders and their trousers, but then they had almost arrived at their destination: The robin led them to an abandoned garden, already partially gone wild, but still a garden with flower beds and rose bushes, artificial little streams and a pond with a fountain, now of course all frozen.

Naruto followed the robin to the central flower bed, and there they stood and looked around.

Sasuke had not spoken a word since they had changed roles, but now he did:

"What have I done?" he asked. "Winter everywhere - even here."

Naruto felt sorry for him and he put an arm around his shoulder and he would have liked to draw Sasuke to him or to take his hand and caress it but he did not dare. He did not think that Sasuke would like it - even putting his arm around his shoulder was rather audacious.

He tried to comfort him with words instead: "You just have to look around a bit", he said. "Like the birds. They don't sit on the branches and complain about the snow, they go around and search for food, and they find berries in the bushes and seeds below the snow on the ground. Don't you see the snowdrops over there, and the buds for the new leaves? There will be a new spring."

He had never been good with words, and now he was neither, so he finally drew Sasuke into his arms and held him. After some seconds of awkwardness he felt him relax and give himself into the embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** Some words about the title of this story
> 
> The title was a working title. It came to my mind because I created the story by taking my list of unanswered questions, of speculations about how things might be connected, of quirks with the original, of dreams of romantic and melodramatic endings, and put them all into one story. I thought it would be a rather quick short story of some 20k, flowing straightly and rashly to its ending, instead of taking one extra turn and then another by introducing new characters and new mysterious jutsus and unforeseen revelations as the original does. I did not think that my story would gain novel-length...
> 
> Flowing straightly and rashly to its ending - that's how I came up with the title. My friend and beta eowyn unquendor thought that the title was about my own thoughts about the manga all put into one story.
> 
> I would never have believed however that some actual canalized rivers might appear in the story.


	32. A third time: Old legends

They were back in their hiding place, standing in their embrace as they had in that other dimension. Sasuke broke it - in moments of weakness he might look for human comfort, but he tried to avoid it. He wanted to be strong, independent of others.

Karin was still kneeling next to Juugo, but her attention had been rather on Sasuke and Naruto than on her patient. She seemed relieved when they were moving again.

"How's Juugo?" Sasuke asked her.

"Recovering. I am not sure how the loss of that dark chakra will affect him. He's been living with it for most of his life, and his body has adapted to it. We'll have to watch him, but at the moment all seems well. What about the two of you? You gave me quite the creeps standing there and not moving."

"Travelling to other dimensions. I had to show him what awaits him when tomorrow I fight Itachi and that other guy for control over our genjutsus."

"So now you're ready to confront them?" Karin asked Naruto, who looked rather confused.

"Sure I am. No matter what they try with their genjutsu, we will defeat them."

He took Sasuke's hand. Sasuke was not sure whether he wanted it, but he let it happen.

"How do you feel without the kyuubi?" Karin continued. "It's been sealed within you for your whole life, hasn't it."

"It has", he answered. "I guess I feel a bit empty."

"From what I see I can tell that you are already recovering from the effects it had on your chakra system. Or rather from what I can hear: Your voice has changed. The lower chakra centers are now returning to their normal functionality - it may be a bit weird for you, as the changes might be rather quick, but it is all fine, at least for the moment."

"He can deal with the changes perfectly well by himself", Sasuke said. "He does not need your advice."

He wondered whether Naruto had grown manlier indeed. He himself had not noticed any difference.

"You might want to have a look at the kyuubi", Karin said. "It is lying outside."

She returned to sleep while Sasuke and Naruto went to have a look: There it was, huge and frightening, even though at the moment it lay curled up into all its tails.

It had been sleeping but when the boys came near it opened its eyes and lifted its head.

"It's pure chakra", Sasuke said. "I can only see it with my Sharingan. What about you?"

"I can see it with my heart", Naruto answered.

He let go of Sasuke's hand - finally! - and went over to the demon fox. He caressed its nose which looked rather weird as even the nose's tip was as big as Naruto's head, but Naruto was not afraid, and the kyuubi was friendly. Sasuke watched in amazement but also with some envy as Naruto sank his hand into the thick fur of the nine-tail - warmth, touch, being near to another sentient being, one the size of the kyuubi...

He knew that it was his own fault that he had no one to whom he could snuggle as Naruto snuggled to the kyuubi. He knew that it was his own fault that he kept a distance to other people, that he avoided moments as just now with Naruto in the wintery garden, moments of weakness and of need. He had always known that there was a price to intimacy, a price he didn't want to pay. Complying to the other person's wishes, becoming the person they wanted him to be, forgetting about his wish for revenge, forgetting about his family, forgetting about their sufferings and his own, in short: allowing himself to be healed, as they would call it.

The price was too high - and still he could not help longing for some human warmth as he saw Naruto cuddling the kyuubi just as seeing Karin and Suigetsu had made him realize that he was not beyond all sexual desire as he had used to believe. It might not be so bad, he thought, and he did not know where the thought had come from.

Naruto had never been pretty, and now, his face illuminated by the kyuubi's chakra so that the shadows were all at unusual places, he looked really weird, but Sasuke could not turn his eyes from him because happiness and the tenderness he bore to the kyuubi turned him all beautiful.

Finally Naruto left the kyuubi and returned to Sasuke. He put his arm around his shoulder as if this was the most normal thing in the world; then they stood side by side, looking at the nine-tail.

"It's happy now", Naruto said, "because now it is complete. It's found the other half, the dark one. People thought that it would be easier for me if I had only to deal with the light half that represents day and summer and happiness and hope, all that is good. But the kyuubi when it was cut in two was not good, not even the light half, and it was not happy, because it longed to be complete. It grew angry and evil and cunning, longing for its other half. Now it's found it, and it's happy, and I feel that I can trust it."

He paused to think and, as Sasuke suspected, to gather courage. He felt a bit uncomfortable with Naruto's arm around his shoulder though it was less bad than Karin's or Sakura's embraces. Maybe it was because he was a boy, maybe it was because he only wanted to be his friend.

"I am happy that I have found you", Naruto said. "I have longed for you all the time. Without you I am not complete."

"You did fairly well without me for several years", Sasuke replied. He felt rather embarrassed by Naruto's admissions.

"I did as long as I could hope and dream of finding you again - as long as I could think that I was training and getting stronger in order to win you back."

"Did you really think that you could win my affection by becoming strong? I am not one of these stupid useless girls who have to be protected all the time."

"I trained to become strong so that I might get you back by force. Last time I was too weak."

Sasuke knew that sentence only too well: Last time I was too weak to defeat Itachi. I have to become stronger.

"You still think that force is the right way to bring me back to Konoha?"

"I Don't know... I didn't think about it. We went out in a large team to get you back, and I did not think about how we would persuade you to come back. We only thought how we could find you, or not even that. In the end it turned out to be a deception in order to keep me away from Konoha, and when we received orders to back up Jiraya we abandoned our search. Only that I could not abandon you and my dream."

"I thought that your dream was to become Hokage."

"That was before we became friends. Now without you this dream is nothing."

He's worse than Sakura, Sasuke thought. She also had no dream of her own, only her love. He did not want Naruto to depend on him like this.

"Have you at least become strong?" he asked teasingly.

"Have you not seen me fight today?"

"I have seen how you needed my help with your jutsu."

He did not want to admit that Naruto's jutsu, once it had been completed, had really impressed him.

"Yeah, thanks", Naruto said, suddenly a bit depressed. "You know, people in Konoha did not help me much in the end. They told me to create my own jutsu, but when I had almost completed it they told me to stop because it was too dangerous."

"You created it on your own?" Sasuke said, now giving away that he was impressed.

"With some help. And then with some help from your side. In Konoha, in the end it was all about not using my jutsus and keeping the kyuubi in check."

He sounded really down now, something Sasuke was not used to. He did not mind it though, he just felt an impulse to comfort him, and this time he gave in and put his arm around Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto leant against him, accepting the comfort.

"I have always tried to be happy and optimistic", he said. "because I was lonely and because I thought that people might like me better if I was not given to self-pity. Now I discover that being sad is not so bad if there is someone to comfort you."

Sasuke pressed him even closer to himself. He wanted indeed to comfort him, to be with him in his sadness, without urging him to be happy again as soon as possible as people had always urged him to be happy. Yet he also felt that he was not good at giving comfort and that though he was glad that Naruto was finally showing some other emotion than anger or fake happiness, he himself was not able to share his sadness, at least not at the moment: At the moment he was mainly angry about what had been done to Naruto.

"Keeping the kyuubi in check and keeping you in check - that was all that they could think of", he said remembering the rather simple trick that had made the jutsu safe to use for Naruto. "They did not want you strong. They were afraid of you."

"Do you want me strong then?" Naruto asked.

"Of course I do. I need you to be strong if you are going to fight at my side tomorrow, strong and courageous and unpredictable. I mean, what would they say to this?"

He pointed at the kyuubi that was curled up again, sleeping peacefully, probably Naruto's most courageous action in all his life so far.

Naruto stood straight again, thus putting some centimetres' distance between them, and Sasuke caught himself missing the warmth of his body.

"I don't know", Naruto answered Sasuke's question. "Maybe they just did not know. They meant well after all. They thought that they were doing me a favor, helping me to control the kyuubi and that it was an even greater favor that I had only to deal with the light half of the kyuubi's chakra. They thought that it must have been wonderful: Only joy, hope, laughter and happiness. No sorrow, no grief.

He drew Sasuke closer to himself, and Sasuke felt tempted to lean against Naruto on his turn now. He wished that Naruto would act less innocently or naively and remember with all his declarations of how much he longed and cared for Sasuke that for him, Sasuke, there was more at stake than just friendship.

"You know, there's a story", Naruto continued, "that humans themselves used to be whole and complete and perfectly happy, so happy that the gods themselves got envious and split them into two halves, and now people are never happy, but constantly looking for their other half. But if they find their other half, the right one, the one they used to belong to before they were split up, then there will be a truly happy love."

"I have heard that story before", Sasuke answered. "It says that in the beginning there were three sexes, male, female and something that might be called male-female, or androgynous. The male-females when they got divided into two halves became the people who are attracted to partners of the other sex, and they are often shameless and adulterous, both men and women. From the ones who used to be all female come the women who don't care about men but are given to sapphic love. Those who used to be all male however are now the men who love other men, and these are the most virtuous ones and will best serve the state."

Sasuke was not sure why he had told the story. He was glad that Naruto had brought it up however, glad that there was a story that presented the love between men in a favorable light.

"What do you mean, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "Are you going to return to Konoha with me - at my side - as my friend - and serve them well again?"

For a second Sasuke felt as if his knees were going to give in: There was his little boat on the river he had just got on and that he had just managed to stabilize, and now Naruto was jumping onto it, making it rock wildly so that he feared it would capsize and drown him.

Naruto could not help being Naruto, after all, and Sasuke was not going to keep him in check, but would somehow deal with it.

"What do you still want in Konoha?" he asked. "There's nothing for you - they made you fight for what should have been your birthright."

"Becoming Hokage?"

Now Sasuke was perplex. "That's no one's birthright. For that you have to be strong. Why do you think that you might have a right to become Hokage?"

"The Yondaime was my father."

"Was he? Why didn't they tell you?"

"I don't know."

Again it seemed to Sasuke that he had struck a sore spot. He drew Naruto into an embrace, a fake embrace, where he was all in control, as he had done in Orochimaru's lair, he knew it and he hated it and still he did it because it protected him against having to open up for real and because it prevented Naruto from thinking clearly. I might even seduce him and he would give in without being gay himself, Sasuke thought.

"There's nothing for you in Konoha", he repeated. "They don't care for you there. They want you weak and humble and ashamed of the kyuubi, not proud that your father gave his life and your happiness for the well-being of the village. They don't want to be ashamed, as they should be, to owe their survival to the sacrifice of a small child.

"Don't return to Konoha! Stay with me and my team! We want you to be strong and free!"

He meant it and still it sounded all wrong.

Naruto pulled himself out of the embrace. "It appears that I don't have any choice at the moment", he said.

He was better able to think straight than Sasuke would have imagined.

"You have already made your choice", he said.

"Yeah, and I don't regret it."

Naruto put both his arms around Sasuke and drew him to himself, and finally Sasuke gave in to the embrace.

"Let us go and sleep", he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** Old legends - the legends in chapters 9 and 26 I made up myself, using material from real old stories that I half remembered. This story however I looked up - everyone is familiar with Naruto's version, and most people think that the story is meant about men and women complementing each other. But the real story is different, and so for Sasuke's additions I had to look up the real text.
> 
> If you want to look it up yourself: Plato, Symposion, the speech of Aristophanes, 189d (Go and read it. It's hilarious. Did you know that if we got inobedient once again, we would be split another time, so that then we had to hop around on one leg?)


	33. Naruto, thinking

In spite of having gone to sleep rather late Naruto woke up a short time before sunrise, and before any of the regular members of team Hebi. Sasuke had rolled onto his arm in sleep, so Naruto had to pull it out carefully without waking him up. He went outside where the kyuubi was still lying, keeping watch, and where the birds were busy with their morning concerto. He breathed in the cold clear air, happy to be outside, by himself - even he who thrived in company sometimes needed time to think without anyone interfering.

Too much had happened. Had it been only yesterday that he had been lost in the wilderness, utterly alone, on the edge of despair, cut off from everything that had been his life in Konoha, not knowing whether there would ever be any future with Sasuke - he might never have caught up with him, he might have been rejected when he had finally met him, or even worse.

Now he had been picked up by Sasuke's team and they were easily the most laid-back people he had ever met, and Sasuke himself had not shoved him away but had invited him to stay with him and his team. It had been a rather weird situation yesterday but this was what it boiled down to: Sasuke had invited him to stay with him and his team.

His dream had not dissolved the moment he had met him. It had become real, and now he had to get to know it. Naruto had never had a very precise idea what his dream might be, he had only known that it existed: Something beyond his life in Konoha, beyond missions and loyalty and giving his best in order to gain the recognition of the people of Konoha. Now he had met people whom he could tell that he had the kyuubi sealed within him and who would not fear or despise him. People who did not see him merely as the kyuubi's jinchuuriki but as the person he really was - a strong fighter and, above all, Sasuke's friend.

What was he beyond this? He would have to find out, now that he had lost his most important dream, to become Hokage. It had been a childish dream after all. The other dream, finding Sasuke, had not been childish - he had been correct when he had told Sakura that his love for Sasuke was rooted in the innermost part of his soul. He had met Sasuke, he had arrived in the innermost chamber of his soul, and now he had to explore it, because he hardly knew it, just as he hardly knew Sasuke.

How had he learnt to get along with people as Karin or Suigetsu? Why was his mind no longer fixed on killing Itachi? How did it come that he had cared to learn to find out about the beautiful places in people's minds? And why was he suddenly gay, and apparently so relaxed about it?

He, Naruto, would not be so relaxed. Fucking other men in their ass, or, even worse, being fucked into the ass by other men. Sasuke of all people! He who was so strong and cared so much about being stronger than everyone else and who would not let anyone touch him - he should give his body to other men so that they could fuck him? It was unimaginable - or perhaps not so much - had there not been for the fraction of a second the image of a naked Sasuke in front of his inner eye, curled up in his sleep, just as he had been during the night, only without a blanket and without clothes, lean and white-skinned and gracious as a cat, and tender and vulnerable as well - he shoved the image aside: His Sasuke, his beloved and admired Sasuke, being touched and ravished by other men! He could not bear the thought and he wondered why Sasuke took it so easily. His team seemed to be relaxed about it as well. Maybe that made it easier.

Naruto did not know much about what it meant to be gay. He had no idea what gay men did besides anal intercourse. There had been two sources of information on sex in his life, both equally unreliable. One had been the dirty jokes among the boys when he had been twelve - now he remembered that Sasuke had rarely joined in. He had put it off as one of the side-effects of Sasuke being completely focused on killing Itachi and not having time to think about sex or making jokes about sex, but maybe there had been more to it. Coming to think of it, Sasuke had never been interested in girls. Naruto had always blamed this as well on Sasukes fixation on Itachi, but maybe he had been wrong there as well.

Naruto's second source of information had of course been his years with Jiraya. During their travels he had learnt more about sex than he had ever wanted to know, but almost nothing about love. He had learnt how people bought sex for money or a bottle of champagne and a night in a hotel suite. He had learnt how women went not only for the best-looking guy, as the fangirls had all gone for Sasuke, but also for the most famous man, or the richest man, or the man who would be best trophy material, or the man who would offer them the best life if they managed to hook up with him for real.

They rarely looked for the one who would offer them the best sex. Only rich, rather old women (over thirty) could afford this. Naruto himself had got a few offers of that kind, but had always turned them down as he had felt that the women had only chosen him because he was inexperienced and in fact not much more than a child.

He wondered if Sasuke as well thought of him as a child. Well, then I will show him that I am a man just as him.

Jiraya had always encouraged him in turning down these women's offers. "A man should not be chosen by a woman", he had said. "A man should wait until he can have his pick among the most beautiful women of the world."

Naruto had never really listened to the second part of this advice. He had felt that it had nothing to do with the love he longed for.

Jiraya had not talked about how things should go between two men. There had been gay men in the world they had moved in, or men who considered themselves straight, who often were even married, but who sometimes just longed to fuck a man, or to be fucked by a man. They would even pay for getting fucked by a man.

Jiraya would tolerate these men, he would even try to talk to them as if everything was normal, and still Naruto had sensed that something was wrong. (Hell, he was used to sensing that something was wrong when everyone pretended that everything was fine.) Now, after Suigetsu's teasing, accepting jokes, Naruto knew what had been wrong: Jiraya had never touched the subject of sexuality, or even love when he had talked with them while he constantly discussed it with men who were into women: Who's the prettiest woman here, who has the fullest breasts, who is easy to get, and what's the best way to get them. They had even discussed the women's skills: That one's good at riding, that one's good at sucking.

He had never talked like that to gay men, and thus Naruto had learnt that they were something to be avoided.

Though when Jiraya had been busy otherwise, Naruto would have got offers from some of these men. He had always turned them down with disgust. No way he would allow any man to get into his body. He was not a girl. And even if he were a girl he would not let any random man into his body just because he paid him in whatever form. Only if he was truly in love he would give himself to a man, and only to a man who was truly in love himself.

Why did he just now think about how he had tried to impress Sakura with his courage, his strength, his new jutsus? And why did Sasuke's words come to his mind? You should not have to fight for what should be yours by birthright: Being loved and cared for.

And I have more or less offered myself to him as a lover when he had talked about these former male-male people being the best to serve the state, Naruto thought. He was glad that Sasuke had not accepted him. He had, in fact, neither said yes or no. There was still hope - why did he think this again?

There had been even weirder things in the world Jiraya moved in than men paying to fuck other men or to be fucked by other men. There were people paying to be whipped, or to be spread out and bound to some iron bars, or to be led around on a leash.

Compared to this, having sex with another man was not so weird after all. Maybe it was not weirder than having sex with a woman.

Naruto had often masturbated to fantasies of beautiful naked women, but he had never imagined having real sex with them. He had never experienced it, so he had no idea what it felt like to be inside a woman. His erotic fantasies, even those that did not include Hinata or Sakura but used some anonymous women, had never gone further than touching the woman's breasts, and sometimes their waists and hips. He did not have the courage for more, and also he did not really know what a woman's genitals looked like. He had avoided pictures that showed everything and looked away when a prostitute opened her legs in some erotic dance. He had thought it shameless, even for a prostitute, and it were indeed few prostitutes who did it.

"You are still too young", Jiraya had said.

Again he had a vision of Sasuke, lying in his arms as he had done yesterday, only that now Naruto was very conscious that Sasuke was naked beneath his blankets and that he had just to slip his hand beneath the sheets to touch his skin: His chest, his hips, his thighs, even more. He wondered what Sasuke looked like. He had seen him naked before, of course, but then they had still been children...

Why did all this happen? It was Sasuke's fault. He had admitted that he was gay.

On the other hand he was quite sure that Sakura was straight and he had never imagined her naked. Perhaps she was not straight after all, but simply asexual. She must have had a reason for chasing a phantom for such a long time.

Well. He had been chasing a phantom as well. Not a phantom but a dream, he reminded himself, and now that it had come true he would have to find out what it was like. Not so bad, after all. Not as fucked up as his teachers and Sai and so many others had said that he was. He would probably not return to Konoha but he had not pushed him back and he had been ready to protect him.

He had invited him to stay with his team. This was what counted.

But it was not enough. Naruto wanted to be best friends again with Sasuke. And there was the possibility that they might even become more.

He had no idea what he wanted to do or not to do with Sasuke. He still found the idea of anal sex rather repulsive. What he longed for, really longed for, was the thing he had witnessed between Karin and Suigetsu: Touching and looking and kissing - again the images of Sasuke appeared in front of his inner eye, he was touching his hair, his cheeks, and Sasuke was returning the caresses and was looking at him with a warm expression as he had never seen it on his face in reality. A warm, loving expression - this was what he longed for, not the soulless thing Jiraya called hot sex.

So why was his blood now rushing to his groin? He shook his head: Even if Sasuke was gay it did not mean that he was in love with him. Why should he be? He was one of the most beautiful men in the world, gracious and lean for those who preferred their lovers to be a bit on the puerile, even feminine side, and still well-trained and strong for those who sought for real men as their lovers. During his years with Jiraya Naruto had learnt that there were these two kinds of gay men, but that the latter were more frequent: Being a bit feminine themselves and looking for an image of perfect masculinity in their partners.

What kind of gay man would he be himself if he really became Sasuke's lover? Certainly the masculine type. He had always aspired to be a real boy and a great fighter - there was nothing girlish about him. He would no longer have to worry about behaving in a way the girls approved of, he would be able to be loud and wild, to brag and make silly jokes and eat unhealthy food and wear ragged but cool clothes, and boys and men would not tell him off but admire him. It could get interesting.

It did not matter. He still was not sure whether he wanted to move to the other side. He might be interested in Sasuke, but he was not interested in boys or men in general. He was not even sure that he was interested in Sasuke. He had been chasing him for three years but not because he longed for his body. He had longed for him because Sasuke was his friend, because Sasuke had recognized him as a human being before anyone else had done (except Iruka of course), because Sasuke had accepted him as a team member when Naruto had still thought it impossible that anyone would ever be ready to accept him. Even when they had still been at the academy Sasuke had had the independence of mind not to join in when the others had harassed him, not to go with the general flow of laughter and jokes against him, the outsider.

He longed for him because of all this and because he also pitied him for what he had gone through and because - he did not know it. But it had nothing to do with his body.

It did not matter. Sasuke would be able to choose among all the men in the world - well, among all the gay men. Why should he fall in love with him?

It did not help to go on thinking. He was only getting more confused. He went back inside.


	34. The Dark Half

Inside, Naruto found Juugo awake, preparing tea. The only member of Sasuke's team he had not talked to yet, but he had been inside his mind.

Sasuke had been right. Humans were not meant to see into each other's hearts. Naruto felt rather embarrassed now.

"Hi", he said when Juugo looked up at him.

"Good morning", Juugo replied. "You are Sasuke's friend, aren't you?"

"Yeah. But I also have a name of my own, Uzumaki Naruto."

Again Sasuke's friend, Naruto thought. This is how his team has learnt to think of me. This is how he has talked to them about me.

"Welcome, Naruto", Juugo said. "I am Juugo of the Scales. Won't you come in and sit down?"

"Yeah, thanks." Naruto followed the invitation. "Shall I help you prepare breakfast?"

"Not yet. For now, it's just tea; with breakfast we'll wait until everyone is awake."

"It will take them a while", Naruto said, looking at Karin and Suigetsu who were entangled into each other in their sleep, the blankets down to their waists. "They did not sleep much last night." Sasuke and I did neither, he thought.

"Was about time", Juugo answered. "Just as it was time that Sasuke picked you up."

"Well, sort of. I caught up with him while he was fighting Itachi."

"So Itachi at least has prevented him from running away from you again. Who would have thought that he would ever do something helpful?"

"Well, seems he did."

What kind of people were these, and what did they know? Juugo was even worse than Karin and Suigestu.

"How did it go? The fight I mean. Did you win?"

"It was some kind of a draw. We got Itachi, but I am not sure whether we killed him, and we did not get that raven guy. He got Sasuke with his Mangekyou Sharingan. Sasuke's all right now, however."

"I know. He was with me in the night when my nightmares were worst."

"You had nightmares?" Naruto wondered. "We thought you were unconscious."

"I have no memories of the time when I lost control. It's always been like this. But then I did not regain consciousness, as I usually do, but got stuck in my own mind with a lot of nightmares. I knew it were nightmares and I tried to wake up and get out of them, but I only got from one nightmare into the next one. Finally Sasuke was with me and helped me out. What did happen when I lost control, anyway? I did not kill anyone, did I?"

"Only the leader of Akatsuk", Naruto answered.

"I am sorry. It should not have happened."

"What? I mean - he was our worst enemy. You did us a great service by killing him."

"It should not have happened", Juugo insisted. "Sasuke has forbidden us to kill anyone, and he is right. One should not kill just because it seems an easy way out of a difficult situation. It's not ours to decide about other people's lives or deaths."

"What - but - he was the leader of Akatsuki! He was threatening to kill us all! He was a danger to the entire world! He was evil! Killing him was a good deed!"

"You think so?"

"Yeah. You fought to protect the people who are precious to you, and that's a good thing. That's what I learnt in Konoha: There's nothing more important than having people who are precious to you and to fight for them. Sasuke taught me this as well when he was ready to sacrifice his life for me."

Juugo thought a bit. "Still it was wrong", he said. "I should not have lost my mind. I am lucky that I broke down afterwards and did not go berserk and turn on you."

"Might that have happened?"

"It has happened before. This time at least I was able to stop myself."

"You might have died. You did not just stop yourself and break down, you almost completely cut down the exchange of chakra between your head and the rest of your body. Karin and Sasuke were really scared that you might die, or remain in a coma for all your life."

"Maybe this would have been better. All my life I have only been a burden and a danger to everyone. I was best off when I was shut away - or if I were dead."

"Don't say that!" Naruto said, horrified by the abyss that opened in front of his feet. So this had been the dark half of the kyuubi's chakra. The light half had indeed been easy to deal with. Suddenly he felt ashamed that he had only thought of himself when he had complained about the restrictions put on him. Juugo's fate had been far worse, and he only thought of the people he might have hurt. Maybe he should have been ready to accept the measures that had to be taken to protect Konoha from the kyuubi: Control his emotions, control the kyuubi, accept banishment, imprisonment, even death. He shuddered.

"Don't say that", he repeated. "I mean, I don't know you well" - it's not true, he thought, I have seen the orchard, I might know him better than a lot of people who have been with him for years - "I don't know you well", he said, "but I have seen how Sasuke was worried, how Karin was worried, and Suigetsu was really crazy because he thought that it was all Sasuke's fault because of his refusing to meet me."

He could not help it: he began to cry. Juugo watched him confusedly, but he accepted Naruto's outstretched hands.

"It's okay", he said, as if he had to comfort Naruto. "I mean, Sasuke's with us. He can control it. He helped me out last night. You were with us too, weren't you?"

"Yeah", Naruto answered, drying his tears. "I am sorry. I did not want to intrude. It just happened."

"It's okay," Juugo said again. "I mean, you helped out, didn't you?"

"The kyuubi did. It said that if I released it, it would help you get rid of that dark chakra, and indeed it ate it all."

"So that's it", Juugo said. "I have felt empty all morning, without being hungry, and wondered what it might be... It's now gone for good, isn't it?"

"I think so."

"Thank you", Juugo simply said.

"It's okay, I mean, the kyuubi did it, not me, and Sasuke had to create the connection. You can thank the kyuubi if you want, it's lying outside. It won't hurt you."

Juugo hesitated for a moment, then he got up and went outside.


	35. Return to the Land of the Living

Unnoticed by Juugo or Naruto, Sasuke had been lying awake for quite some time. He had woken up when Naruto had been outside to think for himself, and for some minutes Sasuke had been in panic, fearing that Naruto might have gone for good. He had known that his fear was irrational, that after three years of pursuing him in spite of every rejection and threat to kill him Naruto would not leave him now when he had been welcomed warmly both by him and his team.

Though maybe there had been something else that had driven him away. Maybe he had not taken it so well after all that Sasuke was gay.

Sasuke was not stupid, and he had not missed that Naruto had more or less offered himself to him as a lover after telling the story about the people split into halves. Sasuke knew that he had evaded answering his offer, and that this was probably the wisest thing he could have done, as in all likelihood the offer had not been meant seriously. Naruto had always been in love with Sakura - why should he suddenly be gay?

Even he, Sasuke, still had to get used to this new idea of himself. That there might be something for him, not the annoying embraces of the fangirls, not the system of sexual favors to people higher up in the hierarchy in exchange for some gratification that had been the norm at Orochimaru's place, apart from simple rape and abuse of those who were lowest in the hierarchy. He himself and perhaps Juugo had been the only ones who had managed to remain outside of it.

There might be something else for him... Why did he think of Naruto now? Because last night he had offered himself to him as a lover, of course.

It was not good. He needed more time to get used to the idea of being close to someone again. He needed to learn to be friends with people before he could even dream of taking a lover, and besides, in all likelihood, Naruto was not gay. It would probably be best if they both forgot about the offer and became best friends again... though Sasuke could not help but feel some regret at the thought.

Naruto had been on his mind as long as he could remember. Even before the murder of his clan he had noticed him in his loneliness and wondered about him and pitied him, and during his years with Orochimaru it had been the thought of Naruto that had kept him sane. The thought that there might be something to return to after he had killed Itachi, and that even if he himself was not able to return, because he got killed himself, there might be something that was worth going on existing - a dream of sanity, of happiness, of life - and that he had not killed it.

But now this dream had stumbled into his life, or rather into his own existence, and he had to cope with everything that made Naruto difficult for him: his rashness, his unpredictability, his tendency to speak his emotions and act according to them without any thinking, his bragging, his fake optimism, his childishness, his need to be recognized, his need to be loved...

Then Naruto had come back inside and Sasuke had been relieved: Naruto had just been outside to get some fresh air. Naruto began to talk to Juugo, and while Sasuke listened, all his reasoning and thinking stopped because finally he saw what he had never wanted to admit to himself: That beneath Naruto's wish to impress others and to be loved there were genuine kindness and a compassionate heart.

Naruto had never been given to self-pity, though if anyone had had a right to pity himself it would have been Naruto, and still he had not grown hard-hearted, as so many do who refuse to linger on their sufferings and insist that others don't complain either but go on working and pretending that everything is normal, even if their sufferings are considerable. Naruto had retained his ability to pity others and to give them hope and courage and love.

I should have seen it earlier, Sasuke thought. I could have seen it even when we were staying with Inari and his family in the Wave Country, but I did not care to look, because I myself felt only contempt for a child as Inari who instead of following his fosterfather's example and becoming strong and courageous and finally avenging him would prefer to remain weak and to whine and complain.

Only now, watching him with Juugo, whom he loved himself, he was able to recognize the greatness of Naruto's soul, and to see that he could do what he himself, Sasuke, could not; find friendly words for those who need them, encourage them, hold them in his arms, in short, to show them that he cared.

Naruto was so much better than him: He had even released the kyuubi in order to help Juugo, though he hardly knew him, in spite of the great risk that went with it. Naruto was full of life, full of love, and devoting his life to protecting him was the best thing that he, Sasuke, could do.

He had, finally, fallen in love.

He got up after Juugo had gone outside and sat down next to Naruto, suddenly longing to be near him. He even touched his forearm, trying to make it seem casual or even accidental, but in truth he longed for the physical contact with all his heart.

"You did not chidorize me just now, did you?" Naruto asked, vaporizing Sasuke's hope that the touch might go unnoticed.

"No, I did not. Why should I? It must have been some electrostatic discharge. I am sorry, I did not want to hurt you."

"It was no discharge", Naruto said, "and it did not hurt."

He returned the gesture, his fingertips only touching the hairs on Sasuke's arm. How strange it looked, Sasuke thought, white with black hairs, no comparison to the light hairs on Naruto's tanned arm that shimmered golden in the sunlight.

Naruto took his hand and warmth spread through Sasuke's body, making him feel insecure and scared. He reached for the teapot to distract himself, but he could not pour himself any tea with just one hand, so Naruto had to help him. Their eyes met: Naruto was smiling widely, and a bit childishly, and Sasuke saw his very own insecurity reflected in Naruto's eyes. He felt a wave of warmth running towards him, threatening to overflood and drown him, he felt tempted to let go off Naruto's hand and return to the state of loneliness he was used to and that offered him security, and at the same time there was the impulse to give in and embrace Naruto and let himself be washed away by the wave of his love. He did neither: He just lowered his eyes and pressed Naruto's hand, caressing it gently, and Naruto answered to this.

Juugo's return relieved him. Sasuke got up, greeted him with both hands - it still was difficult for him, but this time it was important. Juugo was insecure as well, not believing that anyone might touch him in a friendly way, so it was easy for Sasuke, easier than with Naruto.

"I have heard you talk to Naruto", Sasuke said. "I just want to tell you that he was right; I was really scared that you might die, or not regain consciousness, and I am glad to see that you are well again. You are, aren't you?"

"I am. It just takes some getting used to it."

"I am happy for you", Sasuke said, but then he hesitated. There were two kinds of love, he realized, caring for someone and wishing him all the happiness in the world, and enjoying to be with the other person. Juugo was badly in need of the second kind, and Sasuke had never been good at giving it, as he was happiest when he was alone.

"We need you", he said. "We need you for your gentleness and for your generous heart. I don't know if it means anything to you, but when I am with you, I feel at peace."

"Of course it means a lot", Juugo said, drawing Sasuke into his arms and embracing him, which was difficult because he was thirty centimetres higher than Sasuke.

They settled down, and together with Naruto they prepared breakfast. Naruto chatted with Juugo, trying to cheer him up, while Sasuke was left to his own thoughts. I will have to learn it, he thought, being happy with other people and actually making them happy instead of just wishing them happiness. Naruto had a natural talent for it.

The lovers had been awake for some time, trying to be silent, and still Sasuke had been able to hear them. The prospect of something to eat finally made them break up their embraces and get up. Karin wrapped herself into one of the cloaks, while Suigetsu, completely unembarrassed about his nakedness, went outside to relieve himself.

"You might have warned me, geez", he said when he returned. "I go out to pee, and there's this monster outside."

"It did not hurt you, did it?" Naruto said while Juugo poured him another cup of tea.

"It did not", Suigetsu said. "But the way it looked at me was scary in itself."

"You are not embarrassed in front of an animal", Sasuke said. "You are not embarrassed in front of us."

"There's no longer a reason to be embarrassed in front of Karin, and you are all men, aren't you?"

"Sure we are", Sasuke answered and let his eyes wander freely up and down Suigetsu's body. (Before last night he had restrained himself from doing it as good as he could.)

Suigetsu grinned, sat down, stretched, showed off his well-trained chest, but took care to sit in a way that his genitals were hidden.

Standing by his desires was the best way to deal with Suigetsu, Sasuke realized. There was a world outside - a world where he might stand to his human needs, laugh about them, live even if they were not fulfilled, and be not weaker but stronger because of it. There was a world where he might be able to live.

"How are you?" Karin asked Juugo.

"Better", he said. "Still a bit empty. I will have to get used to it."

Sasuke could empathize with him. Even more than getting used to living without his homicidal impulses he would have to get used to people fussing over him.

"I would like as well to know what happened", Suigetsu said.

The other four looked at each other, then they decided that it was Juugo who had the right to tell: "Naruto had the key."

"The kyuubi did it", Naruto added. "It had been looking for its other half for years. After it had taken control during my fight against the two Akatsuki members, it sensed Juugo's presence and led me to you."

"Did it? I thought it would have been your own heart."

"My heart would tell me to look for you, but the kyuubi told me where you were."

Even Naruto was getting the hang of how to talk to Suigetsu, Sasuke thought.

"So what are you going to do now?" Suigetsu asked. "Still planning to fight Itachi."

"We won't be able to avoid it", Sasuke answered. "He's still alive - he will attack as soon as he feels fit for it."

"Not necessarily. He's after the kyuubi, and the kyuubi is not sealed into Naruto any more."

Sasuke thought about it. "Then we will have to protect the kyuubi. We cannot release it and leave it unprotected. We are responsible for it now."

"You are kidding, aren't you? I have seen the monster outside, it does not need to be protected."

"It does. Akatsuki have defeated all the bijuus, with or without jinchuuriki. They will get the kyuubi as well."

"He's right", Karin said. "Do you want to let it fall into their hands? I don't think they'll use the bijuus' energies to save mankind."

"They'll attack us anyway", Naruto said. "Maybe they are no longer interested in me, but they still need you to control the kyuubi."

"Why's that?" Karin asked. "Can't they do it themselves?"

"The guy who can turn into a raven can summon the kyuubi", Naruto said. "Somehow he got into possession of the power of Uchiha Madara, Sasuke's forefather."

Sasuke felt a sting in his heart when he heard Naruto speak so casually about his ancestor. Among his own clan, people had not often spoken about the man who had co-founded Konoha and who had then been killed by the Shodaime, as if they had been ashamed of him. They had told stories about other heroes in the clan's history, or legends of its mystical ancestors in the time before Konoha was founded, but never about Madara himself. Only when Sasuke had followed Itachi's instructions and looked for the secrets of the Uchiha clan under the main temple of Konoha he had found out about Uchiha Madara and understood why the clan did not like to talk about him: Admitting that he had been only second to the Shodaime, and agreeing to follow his orders was not in line with the Uchihas' idea of themselves being the strongest clan of Konoha, and neither had they ever fully approved of his going after the first jinchuuriki when the kyuubi had overpowered him, even though he knew that he could only buy some time.

Thinking that someone had got into possession of Madara's power was absolutely scary. Not only because it meant that he had power over the kyuubi which meant that he, Sasuke, could no longer fully control it. What really gave him the creeps was that someone had found a way to make Madara's body, or soul, of life-force return to this earth, that Madara had not been allowed to peacefully rest in his grave.

After three years with Orochimaru Sasuke was really fed up with any kinds of experiments about exchanging bodies, exchanging souls and other ways of obtaining immortality.

At least this explained why the raven had the Sharingan, even the Mangekyou Sharingan. Sasuke remembered that after the murder of their clan Itachi had told him that including Sasuke there were three people with the Mangekyou Sharingan or with the capacity to awaken it; so now he knew who had been the third one. Suddenly he had a vision of a stranger talking to Itachi, persuading him that the destiny of the Uchiha clan was to dominate the world with their Sharingan and their power over the tailed beasts, seducing him to first kill his best friend, then the rest of the clan.

For the first time in his life Sasuke pitied his brother.

He had been lost in his thoughts and missed what Naruto had been saying. He apologized and asked him to tell again.

"That guy who had obtained your forefather's power can summon the kyuubi, but that's not enough if you want to use it. It always takes two: One to summon, one to control."

"He has Itachi at his side, hasn't he", Karin said.

"Itachi cannot control the kyuubi", Sasuke replied.

"How do you know?"

"I am still alive. Itachi would have killed me with the rest of the clan if he and his companion didn't need me."

"So they need Sasuke", Suigetsu said. "And they cannot use the kyuubi as long as they don't have him. But the guy who can turn into a raven has the power of Uchiha Madara available to him. You did not only save Juugo from his homicidal impulses, Naruto, you also brought us a lot of useful information! You are a great addition to the team."

The words were meant for Naruto, but Sasuke also heard the words that Suigetsu had not spoken aloud: "We should have picked you up much earlier." When would the grudge wear off?

Still Sasuke was glad that his team did everything to make Naruto feel welcome, and it seemed to work: He was much more agreeable, much quieter, much less hyperactive than Sasuke remembered him. He seemed to be at ease with them.

"So what are your plans? How shall we fight them?"

Sasuke hesitated. In the night he had thought that he was going to fight them with Naruto at his side, but in the night he had still thought that it was Naruto who was in danger, not he himself.

"They are after me, not after you, so I will fight them by myself."

"Yeah, as yesterday. We thought that you'd grown out of your great-lonely-hero-attitude", Suigetsu said.

"I told you already: Never fight the Sharingan when you are on your own", Naruto said.

"We are your team", Juugo said. "We fight for you."

"Anyway, this is not only about you", Karin said. "If you lose, they'll get the kyuubi and it will be the end of the world as we all know it. So instead of preparing to die heroically, could you please come up with a plan that might actually work."

Sasuke looked down, ashamed, but not in a bad way. They cared. He would have to learn to show them that he, too, cared for them, in other ways than offering to sacrifice his life for them.

"I'll fight at your side", Naruto said, caressing Sasuke's hand.

"I don't want you to put your life on the line", Sasuke answered hesitatingly, "but if you truly want to be with me...", he thought again of the plans he had formed during the night. "I'll be concentrating on keeping you out of their genjutsus, so you will have to do most of the actual fighting."

"No problem with that", Naruto said.

"Your advantage will be that they will be busy with casting genjutsus and breaking my defenses and defending themselves against my genjutsus so that they won't be able to do much actual fighting."

"I think I cannot remember having seen Itachi ever do any real fighting", Naruto said. "Does he have any other skills than his genjutsus?"

"He was quite good with kunai when he was still a boy."

"Ah, that's at least something."

"Don't underestimate them. I don't know whether I will be able to protect you completely against their genjutsus. Prepare yourself to move from one mental dimension to the next one within seconds! I will try to make sure that at least you will see your opponents where they really are, so that you can hit them."

"That will be enough", Naruto said.

"And you'll have to allow me to enter your mind with the Sharingan so that we can form a connection", Sasuke continued.

"Sure, why not."

He'll have to trust me completely, Sasuke thought, and still it's fine with him. He could not help wondering.

"Don't worry", Naruto said. "We'll get them. I mean, you saw my jutsu yesterday. It does not have to be an exact hit in order to cause a lot of damage."

No, it's rather like Deidara's suicide jutsu, Sasuke thought, killing everything within a certain distance, and they would have to see that they were not caught themselves.

"So you three will be our backup", Naruto told the rest of the team. "For that's the way to fight the Sharingan: Some have to face it, some attack from behind. And if we get lost in a genjutsu, you get us out of it by touching us."

Naruto could have chosen to act as a backup as well, Sasuke thought, but then he would not have been Naruto, always volunteering for the most dangerous part of a plan. But he was also more than the Naruto he remembered, because the Naruto he remembered would not have made any plans at all, but just rushed ahead.

Sasuke felt small next to Naruto's confidence and wished that he might share it, but he could not forget how strong his brother and that other guy were.

And besides, he still had not found a way to counter the Mangekyou Sharingan.

They had now nearly finished breakfast. Karin got her bag and took out the box of cookies, as she always did after breakfast and dinner, and passed it around. Neither of them knew much about growing up with loving parents, but they all thought of a mother as someone who gave out cookies and at the same time saw that they did not take too much. Being the only female Karin had ended up with the role of the mother, while Juugo and Suigetsu became little boys again.

"Only one", Suigetsu said to Naruto, when he passed the box to him. "If you don't want to face Karin's wrath."

"What about me?" Sasuke asked because as usual he had been left out.

"I thought you didn't like any sweets."

"I do. I have always loved them."

All four of his companions turned their eyes on him, and he wished that he had just reclined, as usual, and not said anything.

"I have always loved sweets", he repeated. "When I was a little boy I used to get them from an uncle and an aunt of mine who had a cake shop. They were - they were killed by Itachi in the massacre."

He remembered how he had found their shop closed on the day after the massacre and how he had not been able to believe that even those two kind old people should be dead. Tears filled his eyes, he tried to subdue them, but when he continued to tatlk his voice broke, he began to cry - he hated it, he did not want to be that weak, especially not now that any moment he would have to face Itachi, but he simply could not stop. Naruto put his arm around his shoulder, then embraced and held him, while Sasuke was sobbing uncontrollably, his belly aching from the spasms that shook it.

After some minutes it was over and Naruto released him from his embrace.

"Better?" he asked. "Do you want a cookie now?"

Sasuke took one. "They always gave me an extra cookie when I bought something from them", he told. "And they always had some friendly words for me. When they were dead I swore to myself that I would never eat any sweets again and think of them whenever I got offered some and resigned."

He cried again but not as uncontrollably as before, and it did not take him as long to recover and be able to speak again.

"They did nothing, I mean, they sold cookies, that was all. What could Itachi gain by killing them? He could not even prove his strength, because they were no fighters, just some friendly old people."

"There's no way to understand a mind as Itachi's", Suigetsu said.

"Yeah, maybe", Sasuke answered. He had not thought that he had ever tried to understand Itachi, and still Suigetsu's words strangely relieved him. He could let go now, let Itachi fall into the darkness he had created by his desire for power, step back from the abyss and return to he land of the living.

He looked at the cookie in his hand and nibbled at it. He had not eaten any sugar for years, and the sweetness was almost unbearable. He had to eat slowly.

"I will eat sweets again", he announced, "and think of my relatives when I eat, not when I refuse to eat. I will remember them how they were in life, not only how they died."

He breathed deeply. I will live again, he thought. I will never forget what happened, and I will never cease to mourn, but I will live again. He felt all soft inside, soft because of his sorrow, and he realized that in spite of being the great avenger who thought of nothing but the murder of his family, he had never been mourning before, not for all that he had lost.

"You know, they were not really my aunt and uncle", he told the rest of the team, "they were some more distant relatives: she was my grandfather's cousin and he had only married into the clan. They had no children of their own, so they spoilt their grand nephews and nieces, but mostly me, because I was the youngest of all. Everyone spoilt me back then when I was not yet cool and aloof but a cute little kid. I hated it of course. I wanted to be strong, not cute."

"You are still cute."

"Moron."

There was no edge in the insult, there could not be, because he was now literally leaning on Naruto, his cheeks against the black parts of his sweater, which, in spite of its horrible colours, had turned out to be warm and soft and agreeable.

Naruto's words from last night came to his mind: It's not so bad to be sad if there is someone to comfort you. Maybe he could allow himself to trust Naruto. Maybe he could trust Naruto to steer his little boat safely down the river. Maybe he did not have to be afraid.

It was not only Naruto: There was his team, whom he could trust with his life.

"You're still a fool, and a coward in the bargain", Suigestu said.

"Why? What's wrong this time?"

"You have to the courage to protect your friend with your life, as you have shown many times, but you still lack the courage to kiss him."

"Where's the connection?" Sasuke asked confusedly.

"They are making fun of you again", Naruto said. "You should teach them to show you more respect. We should teach them that we are real men."

He embraced him carefully, drawing his head to his own. Sasuke stopped him.

"It's not a game", he said. "Not for me. I am gay for real, and I am in love for real."

"Well, so, if being in love with you means that I am gay, then I am gay for real as well", Naruto replied.


	36. Controlling the kyuubi like a pet

Naruto had often dreamt of kissing and being kissed: Touching soft lips with his own, letting his tongue run smoothly along the opening between the lips. The dreams had been nice, but now he discovered that reality was completely different.

It was no longer some anonymous woman out of a daydream whom he kissed, it was no longer some visualization of Sakura or Hinata that did exactly as he wished, it was Sasuke, his own living Sasuke, approaching his lips with his own, touching them, opening his mouth a bit with his tongue - not shoving his tongue into Naruto's mouth, as Jiraya's heroes would have done, but gently parting his lips and waiting for his reaction. Naruto opened his mouth and welcomed Sasuke's tongue with his own, and then he entered Sasuke's mouth himself.

Sasuke, his Sasuke, who had been a dream for more than three years, was now with him in flesh, and he was not cool and aloof any more, but warm and gentle, and still everything Naruto had ever dreamt of, generous, noble, clear-minded, courageous.

His tongue was caressing Naruto's upper lip now, his hands were holding his head, as if he was something unbelievably valuable. Naruto had never thought that someone might consider him worth anything (which was one of the reasons that he was always ready to put his life on the line) and that it was Sasuke, most admired of all the boys in Konoha, who thought of him as someone really precious - not just something that had to be protected because it contained the kyuubi, but someone who was really precious so that he should be treated with care, just as Sasuke was now carefully tracing the lines of his face - it was too much for his heart to comprehend.

They were not kissing any more, but looking at each other and smiling - that is, the corners of Sasuke's mouth were slightly twisted upwards, but his eyes were beaming, and warmth flowed from them into Naruto, and he smiled widely but his eyes filled with tears out of sadness that Sasuke had forgot how to smile.

They kissed again, opening their mouths for each other's tongues but also for their whole persons. I want him inside me, Naruto thought, fragile and strong, easily scared and valiant, having great issues with trust and intimacy, but having also a generous, loving heart. His tongue in my mouth, and mine in his, beautiful, gracious creature, and then Naruto did not think anything any more, just felt the warmth spreading from his mouth to his body, his blood rushing to his sexual organs. Both boys moved, so that they could press their bodies against each other, their hands wandered under their shirts, touching naked skin.

Sasuke would have been scared, had he still been able to think enough to be scared, but he had given up all conscious thought and deliberation and was following his passion only now. He kissed Naruto's mouth, his cheeks, his eyes, his ears, his neck. He had wanted him since he had been a kid, funny, ever-friendly, ever-happy Naruto, he had envied him, he had wanted to be close to him, so that some of his happiness might rub off, though at the same time of course he had refused to allow himself any happiness. Funny, ever-friendly, ever-happy Naruto - a cute kid then, a clumsy teenager now, feeling uncomfortable in his skin, but already there was the promise of the future man, strong, confident, ready to hold and protect him, just as he, Sasuke, was ready to hold and protect Naruto.

He was a good choice, and being gay was a fine thing with a partner as Naruto, who was so different from the girls who wanted to play psychotherapist but who were not ready just to help and protect and hold and comfort him when he needed it. For them he was just a pretty doll, sadly suffering from some irrational fixation on his revenge, whom they could embrace and attempt to heal at will, forgetting that he was a person with his own ideas and wishes and feelings.

Naruto was embracing him as well and kissing his neck, but it was all in response to Sasuke's own embraces. He tried him by withdrawing a bit, and Naruto stopped immediately, looking at him confusedly, then Sasuke kissed him again, following his own passion, giving himself to Naruto's passion. He felt Naruto's body under his hands, strong, muscular, manly, he pressed him against his own, he felt Naruto's erection and knew that Naruto felt his own. He was embarrassed about it, he did not want Naruto to think that he wanted to do anything but kissing. He pretended not to notice, and Naruto did not mind, only his kisses got more passionate now, his tongue deep in Sasuke's mouth, and Sasuke concentrated on answering to them and tried to forget what was happening in the lower regions of his body.

His Sharingan allowed him to see chakra, but he had no particular talent for sensing it. Still he knew what was happening: He was open for Naruto, and Naruto was open for him. Naruto felt it as well: They were open for each other, body and soul, and he also knew that though they might be only kissing now he would be ready to go all the way when time came. It was no loss to be gay, not if the partner was Sasuke whom he had longed for for so long. He would not have it otherwise now.

They were only kissing, and already open for each other, and chakra was free to go from one to the other, and the chakra systems connected...

"Sorry to disturb you, boys," Suigetsu said, "but the kyuubi is moving. Something seems to be going on outside."

Slowly they remembered where they were and what time it was and that there was a world outside with men like Itachi and the guy who could turn into a raven, who would both be all too happy to make use of the occasion if they found the two of them kissing. So Sasuke and Naruto dissolved their embrace, but they did not completely break the physical contact, nor interrupt the chakra flow between them. They went outside where the kyuubi had got up on its four feet, its tails raised, its head lowered, growling angrily at the men who had arrived, but just as with a dog its open aggression was only a sign of its nervousness and fear.

The boys went around it and met their opponents: Itachi and the stranger who could turn into a raven. Naruto quieted the kyuubi:

"We will protect you", he said, then he turned around, looking into two pairs of Sharingans.

Sasuke, whose arm was still around his shoulders, drew him closer.

"We'll make it", he said, suddenly feeling confident. "They only have each other, but I have you."

He wondered about himself. This morning he had been dissolved in sorrow, then he had been dissolved in passion, but now he was perfectly calm and focused, more than ever when he had been fighting Itachi, not angry any more, but oddly detached. He remembered Suigetsu's words: "There is no way to understand a mind as Itachi's."

Staring at each other, waiting for the other to show a sign of nervousness or fear or even give himself an opening: The Uchihas fought like cats. Naruto was rather like a dog: his rashness and impulsivity were well-known both to enemies and friends, and so everyone waited for him to make the first move. But just as a dog might be scared of a cat though he is much bigger and stronger, just because he does not understand that weird creature's behaviour, Naruto felt insecure amid these men with their genjutsus he could not do anything about.

Then Sasuke struck. He had seen an opening and got into Itachi's mind, taking Itachi's companion with them. With Naruto's chakra supporting him it was possible to catch two men in one genjutsu... Naruto was still at his side, ready to fight, conscious both of the real world and of the nightmarish world that was Itachi's mind, just as Sasuke himself was.

The landscape resembled what one would find on the moon: Bare stones and no water, and the sky was deep black as it is when there is no atmosphere. Yet Itachi was not shocked or depressed as Sasuke and Naruto had been when last night they had looked into their minds.

"Do you really think that you can defeat me like this?" he said. "Do you really think that I might be hurt by this empty barren landscape? You are wrong: I created it myself. I searched it and destroyed everything that might cause me pain or fear."

So this is the source of Sasuke's crap about severing bonds in order to get stronger, Naruto thought.

The guy who could turn into a raven was not even defending himself against the genjutsu. He was just standing around, smiling arrogantly, confident that he could not lose. He was not helping Itachi either.

It turned Naruto angry. Only Naruto could be turned angry because Itachi did not get any help from his companion, Sasuke thought amusedly, but this was what he loved him for.

What a relief to be allowed to get angry without fear of awakening the kyuubi! Finally Naruto could use his anger to summon all his own chakra, and none of the kyuubi's! He created a bunch of kagebunshin, not only of himself, but also of Sasuke, which was possible because their chakra systems were still connected. They attacked from all sides with kunai and swords and shuriken.

They were of course no real threat for Itachi and his companion but they kept them busy so that Sasuke could do some thinking: This lunar landscape could not be everything, he knew, there must be something else, something deeper, something that had caused him to become like this. Something from the time before he had murdered the clan - from the time when they had still been a family.

Naruto's kagebunshim lured them all forward, so that they got to see more of the landscape. He found a crater, and after a sign to Naruto the kagebunshin lured them all inside.

On the ground there was a new landscape: not barren stone any more, but ice, which was a progress, because ice was frozen water after all, and Antarctica was still a continent on Earth.

"Do you really think I still feel the cold?" Itachi asked, but he must, as they all felt it now, while they had not felt the cold of outer space at the other place.

On and on the kagebunshin made them go, until they came to a crack between two giant glaciers which was filled with dark green water.

This time Itachi was afraid, as if he knew that if he sprang down into the rift he would find another world where he was still more vulnerable than in this one, but his companion did not seem to care, and the kagebunshin did not leave him any choice.

Naruto had thought that he would end up in icy water but he did not: There was another landscape below, yet this one was not natural but artificial: It was made of glass and of concrete, similar to some modern quarters of the capital of the Fire Country that he had once visited on his journeys with Jiraya. Even the floor was made of glass, and below the glass there was darkness, so that they saw their reflections in the glass.

Sasuke looked for a way out of that mental dimension, another crack or hole, but there was none.

"I told you", Itachi said. "There's nothing that would still cause me any pain or fear: Don't look for something beneath, where there might still be some warmth or softness. There is no other dimension. This one is real. This is what is really inside me, and this is what the outside world really is."

It cannot be everything, Sasuke thought. Even with him there must be some reason why he had become like this. Then he discovered that what he had first taken for skyscrapers made of glass were actually mirrors, a special kind of mirrors that magnified Itachi, but left the rest of them their original size. So this was the world Itachi dreamt of.

Naruto had understood it as well. The kagebunshin spread out, one pair to every mirror, and when they were all in place they turned them around in one single moment. Now they showed an Itachi who was scaled down and much smaller than the rest of them. The real Itachi who was standing between all these mirrors had also shrunk, because in this dimension what he thought about himself became real.

Behind himself in the mirrors were the images of other Akatsuki; His own companion, magnified so that he looked like a giant, and behind him some other nameless, faceless figures with the typical black and red Akatsuki cloak.

"So your friend is useful for something after all", Itachi said to Sasuke, "but you don't defeat me like this. I have always known that I am small compared to my leader and his plans."

We will get him, Sasuke thought, it is just a matter of time, as in chess when your opponent has lost all his strong pieces. He has lost this fight the moment I got into his mind.

The kagebunshin turned the mirror a second time, and this time the figures vanished and the mirrors showed nothing but the glass landscape without any living being at all - even Itachi who was still standing between the mirrors and who should have been reflected did not show up in the glass panes.

"This it it!" he called. "This is the world as it really is!"

This is it indeed, Sasuke thought, as he watched Itachi grow transparent.

"You are nothing", he said. "There is nothing alive in your world, not even you yourself. You always wanted to be strongest, and now you are vanishing into nothing."

"I am strongest", Itachi said. "I was stronger than all the other Uchihas, I am stronger than all the Jounin and ANBU of Konoha who did not dare to hunt me down. I am second only to my leader who has acquired the power of Uchiha Madara himself and who will restore the glory and dignity of the name of Uchiha that was destroyed by the members of our clan when they were content to be second and to serve the hokages."

Sasuke was not even angry - he just shook his head hearing all this nonsense.

"How could you do it?" he asked. "He's not even from our clan. He's just an impostor."

"He has the true power - he knows the true purpose", Itachi said, having become almost transparent by now. "Blood is not important - families are not important - persons are not important. Only the name and the power are."

And with these words he vanished completely. The landscape of glass vanished as well, and they found themselves back in the real world: with Itachi passed out or even dead, the dimension that had been a visualization of his mind could no longer be kept up.

His companion prodded his body with the tip of his foot. Itachi did not move.

"He was not important anyway", he said to Sasuke. "He was too weak in the end, relying entirely on his genjutsus, and besides, he never had the capacity to control the kyuubi. I do not need him any more. You, Sasuke, are stronger, you might become my new companion."

"And be discarded as Itachi when I am no longer useful."

"You will never cease to be useful. You know that I need you to control the kyuubi just as you need me to summon it. Together we might rule the world."

Yesterday he might have been tempted - today he just did not care.

"I can force you to cooperate", the man said. "You know that I can."

Sasuke had forgotten the Mangekyou Sharingan - he panicked even before he saw the pattern in the other's eyes change its form, remembering how yesterday he had been forced to relive the day when his family had been murdered, how his world had broken down, how again he had felt lost and cut off from everything that had been precious to him, how the pain had been so intense that it had been almost physical.

Naruto felt him stagger and steadied him with his arm. He sensed Sasuke's chakra flow go crazy, breaking down at some points and rising to unhealthily high levels at others, and though he had never really been interested in medical questions he knew from last night's adventures what this meant: Parts of the organism were going through whatever bad experiences were caused by the Mangekyou Sharingan while other parts were trying to protect themselves against it. As their chakra systems were still connected, Naruto could stabilize Sasuke's chakra flow with his own, forcing Sasuke to remain conscious and - Sasuke regretted his intervention as much as he was glad about it - to relive the memories of that day.

To see them all lying dead again, his world breaking in parts - to see it and remain conscious, with Naruto at his side, holding him firmly. His world might have broken down that day, but he was still alive, and for him there might be something new. Not for them, however, they would remain dead, whether he kept mourning or avenged them or just went on. He realized that so far he had only been mourning for himself and the broken world of his childhood, never for their lost lives.

Slowly Naruto led him out of the house, then they climbed one of the stairs that ran along the walls of the houses, leading to the roofs, but now leading into daylight, as if the street with all the corpses was in truth some subterranean labyrinth. Upstairs they found the wintery landscape they had visited in the night, and now it did not seem dreary at all but was a relief after the nightmare they came from. Some of the snow had melted away and Sasuke could see now that what he had taken for a garden was in truth a graveyard. He'd have to bury them but never forget them. He would remember them while he tended to the garden.

All the time while he was recovering from the effects of the Mangekyou Sharingan Naruto had been ready to protect him, yet their opponent had not attacked but just waited for the Mangekyou Sharingan to break Sasuke, not considering the possibility that Sasuke might fight it off.

"Itachi lied to me", he said when Sasuke finally straightened and looked at him again, a fierce determination in his eyes. "You do have the Mangekyou Sharingan, or you would not have been able to counter it just now."

"I don't", Sasuke replied. "You see, my friend is still alive."

He tried to hit the man with his chidori blade, but his opponent evaded it easily. Naruto was beginning to form his wind chakra shuriken, and Sasuke lent him his left hand for it as Naruto's own was still around Sasuke's shoulder. They were fed up with this man's crap, and they would finish it now.

They gasped when the man summoned the kyuubi.

"Don't you hurt it!" Naruto shouted. "You don't use it for your evil purposes! It's just a creature of nature, it's innocent, it does not even know of good or evil! It's not meant to be used to cause destruction!"

For the first time during this fight he was tempted to let go of Sasuke and just rush at that man and break his control over the kyuubi. Sasuke however held him firmly in his grip.

"Worried that someone might hurt your cute little puppy", the man said.

"Calm down", Sasuke whispered to Naruto. "He cannot use the kyuubi. Not on his own."

"But he has power over it."

"Not enough."

"He will make it fight us."

"I will be able to control it. Calm down."

Naruto did not try again to break free from Sasuke's grip, but he did not calm down. How could he, with the kyuubi slowly walking towards the man, all nine tails hanging to the ground as if it did not want to follow the man's call - it was so depressing, his fox-demon, his companion for all his life, just set free against all reason, and already prisoner to someone else's will.

"Kyuubi", he shouted. "Come back! Don't let that man use you! He's evil! You hear me, he's evil! He will use you to kill us, and then destroy Konoha and the fire country and the rest of the world!"

Both boys held their breath when the kyuubi turned its head and looked at Naruto. It took a first tentative step in their direction, then a second, the third was not tentative any more. Still they did not know whether it was coming because Naruto had called it or because the man had ordered it to kill them. Only when it had almost arrived they trusted that it would not attack.

Naruto welcomed it with open arms, caressing its snout, burying his hands in its long, thick fur. Sasuke hesitated, he still felt a bit insecure with the kyuubi, not knowing whether it would allow him such an intimacy, but then he gave in to his longing to stroke its long, shiny hair.

Their opponent made a second attempt to summon the kyuubi. It struggled, torn between its own wish to remain with Naruto and the man's superior power. After several seconds it gave in, turned round and went back to the man.

When it was halfway, Sasuke understood its intentions.

"Call it back!" he shouted at Naruto. "Call it back! It's going to kill him!"

It was too late: The man had caught Naruto in his Mangekyou Sharingan.


	37. Epilogue

Sakura had not kept the promise she had given to Sasuke: She had first told Hinata about Sasuke's nightly visit, and then Hinata had told me.

We were all mortally afraid for Naruto since he had left the team, but we had not dared to talk about it, because officially he was a deserter now, having disobeyed the order we had received from Tsunade, so his name was taboo among us.

But of course I had been thinking a lot about him when I had been lying awake in my room and could not sleep. I had failed again, I thought, not understanding what was driving his heart or torturing his soul. I had just told him to put it away, to be reasonable, to be a dutiful ninja.

Just as I myself had become a dutiful ninja. My eyes fell on the two last volumes of the Icha-Icha-series: Naruto had taken the first one with him. A dutiful ninja during the day, responsible, realistic, reliable, but in the evening dreaming of true love.

Then Sakura told us how Sasuke had sought her out because of Naruto, and that other wound broke open again. I realized that it had never really healed. Various counselors had talked to me after Sasuke's desertion, they had all told me that I had done the right thing, that I had done everything I could, that it had been the right decision to bring Naruto back and to let Sasuke go, they had told me that there had been no way to hold him back, that it had been his own decision to go, that I should no longer burden my conscience with him but realize that there are kids like him who are beyond help, and that I should just forget about him and concentrate on my own life.

It had been as if they had asked me to cut off a hand or a foot. I know that as a teacher I am not supposed to play favorites, but I had loved Sasuke as I had loved no other person since the death of Obito. He had been assigned to be on a side remark, after a lengthy discussion on Naruto, the son of my beloved teacher, but he had soon grown on me because in him I had seen myself as a child, gifted, focusing on his training, ambitious, burdened by a sorrow he could not talk about, a child no one would love because he was too silent and introvert and did not show his feelings, and who in response pretended that he did not need to be loved, but of course he needed to be loved as any other child.

I had longed to show him how I cared, but I had not known how, as he kept holding himself apart, and in the end I had been unable to find the words that would have made him stay.

Naruto I had loved because he was different from myself, because he reminded me of Obito and because, once he had begun to trust that people might like him, he had become friendly and extrovert and funny and made us all laugh a lot. I had thought that he was easy and that I understood him well, but now it had turned out that I had not understood him either, and he had gone as well.

And since Sasuke's visit, even Sakura was thinking about leaving the team. Thanks to Hinata I knew about it, and this time I decided to be a bit wiser and talk to her about it, and I did not just tell her to obey the orders given to us by Tsunade, but I also talked to her about my own doubts, being open with her as I had been with neither of the boys.

Maybe they would meet. Maybe Sasuke would be able to protect Naruto. Maybe, maybe.

Sasuke had told her off for letting Naruto go into certain death, and he had been right.

The girls visited me in my room in the evenings, so that Kiba was already beginning to tease them about it while Yamato took me to the side and reminded me very seriously to behave in a way that would not encourage any wrong suspicion. We we did nothing but talk about Naruto and discuss what could have been done and what should have been done, and then the girls told me that they had decided to go.

I said that I would join them. I even left a note for Yamato saying that the only way to prevent them from setting out on their own had been to accompany them. Someone had to protect them, as neither of them was a fighter.

We travelled back to the inn where Naruto had left us; from there on my ninja-dogs showed us the way. We got nearer with every day we travelled, and when we were near enough to catch up with him the next day, the dogs told us that he had met Sasuke, which was a comfort and at the same time a source of nervousness, because we had no idea how to meet him. We stayed up late into the night, because we were too excited to sleep - one more night and we would meet them both! The girls talked and talked, and I could tell now that they were both in love with Naruto, even though Sakura still pretended that her feelings were only of a sisterly nature. I hoped that they would not get into any bitch fights when they finally met him.

When we got up we sensed the kyuubi's chakra, strong and very different from that of any human being, and now we no longer needed my ninja dogs: As fast as possible we wanted to get to Naruto and to see what had happened to him.

I did not tell the girls that I had no idea what I would do if the kyuubi had completely taken over. I did not have Yamato's power to control it.

Having crossed a range of hills were were finally able to see it: Growling angry at someone, holding its nine tails up like an aggressive dog. We could see neither Sasuke nor Naruto nor the guys who were their opponents, but Sakura drew our attention to three figures who were standing nearby and watching the fight: Sasuke's team.

"What happened to Naruto?" I asked them even before they had welcomed us.

"Nothing", answered the man whom I later got to know as Suigetsu.

"Nothing? The kyuubi has completely taken over, with all its nine tails present, and you tell me it's nothing?"

"Naruto has not been taken over. He's fine. Look closely: there he is, standing next to Sasuke. He has not been taken over, he has set it free."

Our view had been blocked by the nine-tails, but now we could see them: Standing side by side, their arms around each other's shoulders, similar to the picture of a statue I had once seen in a book - the Dioskouroi it was called. Opposite them were their opponents, Itachi and a man we did not know. They were standing still and not moving.

"It's a genjutsu fight", Suigetsu explained. "All action is taking place within their heads."

I did not really care about it at the moment. I was worried about the nine-tails.

"Why did he do that?" I asked. "Why did Sasuke tell him to release the kyuubi?"

"Nobody told him to do anything", Suigetsu answered rather annoyed. "He did it for our companion, and it was his own free decision. If he had asked me, I would have advised him not to do it. Don't you think that this monster frightens us as much as it frightens you? Anyway, who are you that you think you have the right to question us and to tell us off?"

I introduced the girls and myself.

"We have already met, haven't we", they welcomed Sakura. "Won't you all have a cup of tea?"

"What, now, while the fight is going on?" I asked back. "How can you just sit there and watch? Aren't you Sasuke's team? Should you not support them? I at least cannot let them fight on their own."

"You said you were their former teacher, didn't you?"

"I did."

"Now we know where they got it from."

"What?"

"Heroically rushing into danger without thinking. Can you control the kyuubi?"

"No."

"Sasuke can. They don't need our help now: They have the nine-tail at their side."

The genjutsu fight seemed to be over, and they were moving again. One of their opponents was down, it looked as if it was Itachi. The other opponent was now summoning the kyuubi, and it obeyed him, though reluctantly. My heart stopped when he sent it to the boys to kill them, and I could only hope that Suigetsu had been right when he had told me that Sasuke could control it.

It was not necessary: Naruto welcomed the huge monster with open arms, and soon both boys were caressing it to its obvious enjoyment. Then we gasped again because their opponent was summoning it a second time. It struggled, but in the end it gave in: It went over to him, yet not to take orders from him, as we all thought, but to attack him, and horrified we watched him perished in flames, struck by the raw chakra of the kyuubi. It was a death one should not wish to one's worst enemy...

The girls saw first that Naruto had broken down, and they ran towards him to help him. Sasuke was holding him in his arms, and already I realized that there was something odd about the way he was holding him - something soft and tender and rather unmanly.

"You stay away!" he told Sakura when she wanted to look after Naruto. "Karin will check on him."

"You might not know, but Sakura has become a competent medical ninja", I said.

"Karin is a competent medical ninja as well", he replied.

I did not know what to make of his behaviour, but his teammate obviously did: "She must be really bad if you think that Karin is better than her.", he said.

"I have always preferred Karin over her. You don't touch him!" he said to Sakura when again she attempted to approach Naruto. "You may see after Itachi, I think he's still alive."

"You do not want me to kill him", she said incredulously.

"Of course not. Who do you take me for? Naruto and Kakashi have both told me that you are a competent medical ninja: So go and do your job."

She went, intimidated by his voice and by his grim looks. He glared now at Hinata who shied back and tried to hide behind the rest of us.

"You go and help her with your Byakuugan!"

She obeyed. I followed them to see that they were safe, but it soon became clear that they were: Itachi was unconscious, his eyes were rolling uncontrollably, there were also various physical wounds, and his chakra was almost zero, as the girls told me.

They did not need me, so I went over to the place where Sasuke and his team were trying to help Naruto, but halfway I met Suigetsu.

"They are more than enough", he told me, "and Sasuke is out of his mind. It's no use to stand around if we cannot help them: Let's go and look for the other guy."

We found him at some five hundred metres' distance: A charred lump of flesh, barely recognizable as human. Suigetsu wrapped him into his cloak.

"We'll have to bury him", he said. "And that other guy as well who has been killed by Juugo yesterday."

We carried this one into the fortress to the room where the other was lying, a cool dark room where the air did not stir, then we returned to the rest of the group who were still fussing over Naruto. Sakura and Hinata had joined them. Karin was trying to calm down Sasuke, telling him that Naruto would be fine in time if he would just be allowed to recover, and Sakura was fighting for permission to check on Naruto herself, but Sasuke denied it to her:

"The wounds caused by the Mangekyou Sharingan have nothing to do with the body. It affects mind and soul directly, and then of course the chakra system. Karin can deal with this."

Juugo was allowed to sit next to Naruto, touching his feet, at the same time he comforted Hinata telling her that Naruto was strong and would certainly recover.

"If he would just open his eyes!" Sasuke said. "If I could just get into his mind! I could do anything!"

Again there was a gesture that was too tender, too intimate for mere friends: Sasuke removed a streak of hair from Naruto's face.

"To have found you just to lose you again!" he cried.

"Hush!" Karin said. "I told you it's only a matter of time. It may be a bit difficult for him with the kyuubi's chakra gone and his organism having to adjust, but as I told you: He will recover! There's no need for melodrama!"

Even the kyuubi was worried. It came over to see what the commotion was about, and then it wanted to be near to Naruto. Sasuke gave Juugo a sign, and both moved to create a space in our circle around Naruto. Neither of them seemed afraid, while we others had to forcefully restrain ourselves from crying out in fear and running away. The kyuubi put its head through the opening in the circle, it licked Naruto's skin as if it were some dog trying to clean an immaterial wound where chakra was leaking from his body, it gave him some of its own chakra, and slowly Naruto opened his eyes.

Sasuke took advantage of this moment to get into Naruto's mind with his Sharingan. The rest of us waited anxiously for several minutes, only Karin kept checking Naruto's chakra system, and the kyuubi, who did not understand what Sasuke did, kept donating of his chakra.

"Damn", Karin said. "He thinks he can do anything, but he cannot."

Still after some minutes Naruto opened his eyes. The first person he saw was Sasuke, and they embraced for quite some time, so long that I began to wonder about it. Finally Naruto broke the embrace, sat up and saw us.

"You are late, Kakashi-sensei", he said. "The fight is over."

"I was told not to interfere."

"By whom?"

I pointed at Suigetsu.

"And you take orders from a stranger you have never seen? I would have thought better of you."

"He told me that you could control the kyuubi."

"And indeed we can!" He reached out to caress it. "It will follow us, not some evil guy who has caused it a lot of suffering."

His eyes fell on Sakura, and instinctively with his free hand he reached behind, took Sasuke's hand and put his arm around his body, so that Sasuke's hand rested on his belly. He was naked to the waist, and for the first time I registered that his body was no longer that of a child but that of a man. I had missed how he had grown up.

"Sorry, Sakura", he said. "I found him first. Now he is mine."

"No need to be afraid", Suigetsu said. "Sasuke fights for you like a lion, be it against Akatsuki or against young kunoichis."

"I don't need you to protect me", Naruto said.

"Everyone needs to be protected when they are unconscious", Sasuke replied dryly.

Last of all Naruto's eyes fell on Hinata, and both of them looked down.

"I am glad to see that you are fine, Naruto-kun", she said in a voice full of love and resignation.

"Thanks", he answered, and then: "I am sorry."

She will have to find someone else, I thought.

"Have you found that other guy?" Sasuke asked Suigetsu, resuming his role of captain.

"We have", Suigetsu answered. "We put him into the fortress, to the guy who was killed by Juugo yesterday. We did not need any medical training to see that he is dead - you are lucky that he did not manage to use the kyuubi against you."

"It's got nothing to do with luck. He was foolish to attempt it. He can summon it, but not control it. I could control it, and besides, it still has an affection for Naruto because he had the courage to set it free. I am sorry for this guy but it was all his own foolishness."

Three years ago I had thought that I knew Sasuke, now I realized that I had been wrong. The Sasuke I had thought to know would never have pitied an enemy. Nor would he have asked Sakura to look after Itachi.

"I am sorry", Naruto said. "I would have called it, but he had already got me with this damn Mangekyou Sharingan. At least I understand now why you broke down after you met Itachi three years ago... Anyway, even if I had called the kyuubi, I doubt it would have come back to us: It really hated him, because he had forced it to attack Konoha, and it could think of nothing else than of killing him."

"Don't think too much about it", Sasuke said. "It's his own fault after all: He should not have tried to summon it. How's my brother?"

Not Itachi - my brother, I thought.

"His chakra is all down, except in his head, where it's going crazy", Sakura answered. "I have never seen anything like this - it is as if his organism was actively trying to die. I have given him some tranquilizers so that his mind may calm down, but honestly, if you want him to survive you should take him to the Hospital in Konoha."

"Karin will have a look at him", he decided after some thinking. "She's an expert when it comes to chakra and chakra systems."

"Yeah", Naruto added. "She told me yesterday what you really have to do to get his chakra up and flowing again: You'll have to fuck him."

Sakura froze, Sasuke blushed, Juugo remained unmoved, while Suigestu grinned and put his arm around Karin's shoulders.

"You - you are still such pervert, and I had just hoped that you had matured" Sakura said whan she could speak again.

"Oh, Sakura, come on, there's nothing perverted about having sex."

"It would be a bit perverted, however, to have sex with my brother", Sasuke said thoughtfully. "I won't ask you to do it. We can always take him to the hospital of Konoha if there's no other way to keep him alive. Karin, go with Sakura and have a look at him."

"What?" Naruto asked. "Are you serious? Sending Karin to look after Itachi?"

"What's wrong with it? You said it yourself: she knows a lot about chakra and chakra systems."

"But - you know her! And he is still your brother!"

It took Sasuke several seconds to come up with an answer. "You just told Sakura to fuck him, and now you are worried about Karin. Where's the difference?"

"Karin might actually do it."

Sasuke thought again. "Suigetsu, you go with her and see that she behaves! And then it will be her turn to cook."

It was his sign to break up our circle. Naruto got up and joined Sasuke and Juugo to get their stuff from the fortress and set up their camp here. Hinata offered to help but Juugo told us that we were their guests this evening. So we could do nothing but sit and watch while Karin made the male members of her team cut meat and vegetables for dinner.

"Wasn't this supposed to be your job?" Suigetsu asked.

"No. I said I'd do the cooking", she replied, looking up from her pan where she was frying onions. "You don't want your dinner tomorrow morning, do you?"

Naruto was allowed to help - actually he was ordered to help, just as the other three, as if he was already part of their team.

He had switched loyalties rather quickly, I thought.

Seeing that the others had set to their work without any complaints Suigetsu had given in; still he showed that he did not really agree to it by using his broadsword instead of a kitchen-knife or at least a kunai.

"Still compensating?" Sasuke asked.

"Didn't you show her last night that you are a real man?" Naruto added. "What do you still have to prove?"

Suigestu did not answer.

"I showed him that I am a real woman", Karin said, embracing him from behind.

"We never doubted that", Sasuke said.

"And because I am a real woman you will now cut the tomatoes in a more effective way", Karin continued, gently taking the broadsword out of Suigetsu's hands and handing him a kunai.

"Alas, who could resist to a real woman?" Suigetsu said in mock desperation.

"Yeah, and this was just one night", Naruto said. "I wonder what will have become of you next year? What did she do to you?"

I could not believe my hears: Was Naruto saying what I thought he was saying? Did Sasuke's teammates have sex last night, in a way that Naruto could notice it? Didn't they have any decency, or any standards as ninjas? In Konoha, shinobi were expected to focus on their missions and not get distracted by other things, and if a couple could not control themselves, they would not again be assigned to a mission together.

Why had Sasuke not required them to focus on their task? How had he been leading his team?

I also wondered about Naruto: When he had left us he had been a teenager, constantly thinking about sex but at the same time rather embarrassed about the subject. Now he was confidently teasing a grown-up man.

"You'd love to know what she did to me, wouldn't you", Suigetsu replied to Naruto's question.

"Oh, no, surely not", Naruto answered. "You are the perverts who constantly talk about sex. We'll be content doing it."

He was obviously talking about Sasuke and himself, and though he was not explicitly saying that they were going to have sex with each other, remembering how Sasuke had held him in his arms and how both had reacted to the girls I began to understand the truth.

"You don't have to tell everything", Sasuke said.

"Has he already told everything?" Suigetsu asked.

"We'll see that it won't remain everything", Naruto replied. "Won't we?"

Sasuke blushed.

"Be a bit gentler", Karin said. "He's still shy after all."

"Still a shy blushing virgin", Suigetsu said. "But you're really cute when you blush; even I can see it, and I am not gay."

That was fairly clear, I thought.

"Why do you allow them to talk to you like this?" Sakura asked. "You are their captain, aren't you? Why don't you tell them off?"

"Why should I?"

His expression had changed from one second to the next: not a blushing youth any more, but a warrior who would stand up for himself.

"They are making fun of you."

"They do it all the time. I've grown used to it."

How had he been leading his team?

"Time to set the table", he said. "We'll fetch the prisoners: It would be too much trouble to feed them separately."

He gave us a sign, and Suigetsu, Naruto and myself followed him into the fortress. So indeed they accepted him as their captain and took orders from him - hell, even I had just now accepted his orders...

I longed to have a word in private with Naruto, but it was impossible, as he was almost always at Sasuke's side, and if not he was with one of his team members.

Yet even without talking to him I could see that he had changed and that the change was deeper than having becoming able to make sexually tinged jokes. Sasuke and Suigetsu treated him as a man and expected him to behave like a man, and consequently he behaved as a man. I blamed myself for not noticing that he had grown up, though I think that this is what happens to most grown-ups who live with children.

He was still making jokes and smiling but there was a confidence behind the smile that had not been there before. Of course he could be confident now, I thought, together with Sasuke he had just brought down the last remaining members of Akatsuki.

I could not talk to Naruto in private but it happened that I found myself with Suigetsu and could exchange some words with him.

"Why do you follow Sasuke?" I asked him.

"Why shouldn't we?"

"What do you gain by it?"

He thought a bit. "I used to want to fight Kisame."

"And did you?"

"No. In the end I decided against it."

"So why do you follow him now?"

He hesitated before he answered my question.

"We like him. And none of us have anywhere else to go."

"And that's enough to accept orders from him? He's only fifteen!"

"Oh, that." Suigetsu grinned. "We tell him when his orders are foolish."

How had he been leading his team indeed?

I was trying to have a word in private with Naruto, and in vain, but at the same time he himself was trying to have a word in private with Sasuke. In the end he could not bear it any longer: He took Sasuke's hand and told him openly that he had to talk to him.

Sasuke turned pale, meaning that he became white as a sheet of paper.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "You are going to tell me that you don't want me any more, now that they are both here, Sakura and Hinata, and you have nothing to do but decide who is the prettiest of the two of them."

"No, that's not it", Naruto replied confusedly. "I don't want to choose this or that beautiful woman. I want to be together with the person I truly belong to. I just wanted to tell you that I cannot wait any longer."

Sasuke relaxed, and then he accepted Naruto's kisses and embraces. I turned away - I found it a rather disgusting sight. (Now I have grown used to it and think it as normal as two people of the opposite sex kissing each other.) Anyway, I had to help Suigetsu accompany the Akatsuki members outside.

We sat down for dinner, and after several minutes Sasuke and Naruto joined us. Karin and Sakura told them that Itachi was still unconscious but that there was no imminent danger for his life. Somehow they had managed to give him a bit of water. Sasuke seemed relieved, but at the same time he was glad that he himself did not have to see after his brother.

He invited the two Akatsuki members, Kisame and a woman we did not know, to sit down with us.

"Your leaders are dead and Akatsuki is disbanded. Nobody is alive but the two of you and Itachi. Tomorrow morning we will allow you to leave, to your own villages or to whatever town is ready to take you. They may decide about the crimes you have commited while you were part of Akatsuki. I won't. Tonight however you will celebrate with us."

Kisame nodded. "You are the victors, we are the defeated. We have no choice but to accept your offer."

We celebrated together but we did not mix. I sat next to the female Akatsuki member, Sasuke next to Kisame. On Sasuke's right side sat Naruto, then there were Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo. To my left side was Sakura, Hinata sat next to her.

I belong to Sasuke and his team, Naruto kept telling us.

Using their own supplies and ours and the Akatsuki's Karin had produced a real feast with several courses. She had even managed to transform Naruto's last two bowls of instant ramen into a decent side dish, and Naruto was the only one to protest against the abuse of his food.

Sasuke opened the meal, and when we had finished eating the soup in silence and the main course had been dealt he began to speak.

"Today we have accomplisehd what we set out to do. My brother is defeated, Akatsuki is disbanded, even though for these last weeks our highest priority has been to see that Naruto is safe."

He looked at all of them, and I thought that he would find some individual words for each of, but he did not.

"Juugo, Karin, Suigetsu, Naruto - you know better than I myself what you did for me: You brought me back to life."

"Oh, never mind, it was our pleasure", Suigetsu answered.

"What I have asked you to do for me is completed. You may leave tomorrow, if you choose so, but I ask you to stay with me. I have some plans. I will tell you about them later."

He looked at the rest of us, including even the two Akatsuki.

"I am glad that we have some guests tonight", he continued. "I know you have all come for Naruto, but I know as well that our victory makes you just as happy as us."

I felt not happy but weird, and Sasuke's words had hurt me.

"Sasuke, I don't know exactly what I did wrong when you were a kid. Maybe I did not try hard enough to understand what was on your mind. I am sorry that I did not find the right words to make you remain in Konoha and train with me and become strong enough to defeat Itachi."

"It was not really a matter of words", he answered. "You did what you could, but I chose another way to become strong enough to defeat Itachi. I am glad that you are with us."

There would be a long way to go until we could ever be close again, I realized. Maybe we had never been close. I had thought that he was like me, but he was not, and so all closeness nhad been an illusion.

"Kakashi, I am so happy that you are with us again that I have no words for it", Naruto said. "You don't know how much it hurt when I had to decide between looking for Sasuke and staying with the team! Sakura: It's great to have you around again. I am sorry I was a bit rude just now, but, well, it doesn't matter, he's thoroughly gay and you won't get him anyway."

He took Sasuke's hand: There it was in the open for everyone to see.

"Hinata", he continued, but he did not know what to tell her. "I want to thank you that you care for me."

"I am glad that you are happy", she answered.

My heart had grown lighter with Naruto's words but I knew that just as with Sasuke there had been a betrayal and that the wound would not heal easily.

"I would like to know what has happened", I said.

They looked at each other, deciding who should speak, and then Naruto answered.

"I found Sasuke yesterday when he was fighting Itachi for a first time. I helped him out, and then we were picked up by his team. And today we fought Itachi and his companion a second time. That's all."

That was all, only that in the last twenty-four hours he had shifted his loyalties completely from Konoha to Sasuke and his team and had decided that he was gay and in love with Sasuke.

"What happened with the kyuubi?" I asked.

"I released it. You know, Juugo, over there, the other half of the kyuubi had settled into him. You remember, you yourself told me that the Yondaime sealed only the light half of the kyuubi's chakra into me..."

"I do remember", I answered. "He wanted to do you a favor."

"Everyone wants to do me favors, but this one was wrong. The kyuubi is happier when it is complete, and less evil in the bargain, and besides, Juugo got caught by the other half."

"He wanted you to use the kyuubi's chakra when you were old enough and strong enough to control it"; I said. "He thought it would be easier if it was only the light half."

"Yeah, Jiraya sent me the key that would have released its chakra into my body. I decided against it. I rather set it free."

"You realize that this was quite dangerous, don't you?"

"I do. But do you realize that Juugo who is one of the nicest guys I know and absolutely friendly and unable to harm any living being when he is his true self got stuck with the dark half which would cause him to freak out whenever he was upset and kill indiscriminately?"

I looked at Juugo who had not paid any attention but was introducing Hinata to his bird.

"Do you realize that the only way to relieve him from his curse was to release the kyuubi from my body so that the two halves could become one again? Would you have wanted me to keep the kyuubi for myself in such a situation, just in order to become more powerful?"

"And what about the thousands of people who may die now because the kyuubi is free? Have you thought about them?"

"To help a friend is more important than thousands of people in the abstract. Besides, it won't happen. The kyuubi is not evil: only the people who use it are."

"I still don't understand how you could do it", I said. "I mean, there have been lots of jinchuuriki before you, most of them older and wiser than you, and none of them ever managed to free himself from his bijuu."

"I don't know why they could not: As you say, they were much wiser than I am, and I don't understand their wisdom. But my personal, foolish opinion is that they never tried. They got used to the power which they accepted as a compensation for their loneliness, and they would not miss it. Only when they got older and the bijuu was beginning to take over they would get afraid and try to get free, but then it was too late. I however have never chosen to be a jinchuuriki, and I have never used its power for anything than to protect the people I love, so I could let go when the time came."

"And what now?"

"We will look after it. Sasuke can control it, and it likes me, and I think that it also likes Juugo."

It seemed so: Its head was lying behind Juugo now, and he was showing Hinata how to stroke its fur."

"What will happen when you die?" I asked.

"I have not thought about this", he admitted (though, as I knew him, he had probably not thought at all.) "Anyway, this problem would also have arisen if I had died while it was still sealed into my body. We will look after it as long as we live; then the people who are alive then will have to find a new solution."

Forever bound together in their responsibility for the kyuubi. Maybe it was not so bad that they were lovers. Or maybe it was, because if they ever broke up they could not just say good-bye and part forever.

Yet I saw now why Naruto had grown up in so short a time: Just like Sasuke he had taken a very risky decision, relying on no one's advice, taking all the responsibility, and in the end it had turned out to be the right choice.

I pitied them. They were still so young and had already to carry so many burdens. What would happen to them if they ever decided to return to Konoha? They were both considered deserters now, they had the kyuubi with them, and being gay would not make life easier for them. Homosexuality was tolerated in Konoha, which meant that homosexuals were not prosecuted by the law as they had been ten years ago. But Shinobi - Shinobi could not be gay. Not in Konoha. Some civilians might be, but no true Shinobi.

I myself had to get used to the idea that they were very powerful Shinobi and at the same time gay. Also I had to get used to their touching each other whenever they thought that no one was looking. It was a weird sight.

Dessert was served. Everyone was relaxing now. Suigetsu had put down his breadsword and was lying on Karin's lap, holding his sword above his chest. Karin was caressing his hands that held the hilt; it was a weird sight, as if the sword was their baby. Naruto found it weird too, he pointed it out to Sasuke, and both of them giggled until Suigetsu felt embarrassed and put the sword away.

The boys themselves were now leanings against each other, holding each other's hands, no longer caring that were watching.

For Sakura it must have been torture. Her eyes were fixed on Sasuke and Naruto, and she could not turn them away though what she saw hurt her. It was not easy for me either. Too long I had divided my life between being a ninja during the day and reading erotic romances during the night. Maybe I should look - maybe there was something else, even for me.

Sasuke spoke again. He was the only one of us who was not tired, but he was thoughtful, and his eyes seemed to look at the horizon.

"I promised you to tell you about my plans", he began. "Do you remember, Kakashi, when we were kids, how you asked us about our dreams? I answered that I wanted to revive my clan and that there was someone I wanted to kill.

"I will never kill Itachi now, as I cannot kill a helpless person. I defeated him, that is enough. I defeated him when I decided not to kill Naruto, so much I understand now, because true victories are not won by superior power or superior jutsus but by the heart.

"About reviving my clan I have no idea at the moment as I am not interested in women. Maybe one day Itachi will find one who will marry him.

"But I have a new dream now, if Naruto likes it, because staying with him is now more important to me than anything else. But this is my dream: I want to found a new town, one where children are not sacrificed for the well-being of the community, one where that which is gentle and tender will not be despised but valued and protected."

I felt hurt because I had always thought that in Konoha we did care for our kids, but I could also see why Sasuke was saying this and why I should not contradict him now.

He looked at his team: "If you will follow me and help me make this dream come true..."

Only Karin looked back at him. "Sure we will", she answered. "What else should we do? Though I would like to find out what happened to the women and children of my family."

"We will", Sasuke answered. "I am sorry. I forgot. I will keep my promise."

Suigetsu had to sit up from Karin's lap before he could answer Sasuke.

"But after we've found out about Karin's family, we'll help you out with your town. Someone has to look after you, after all."

Sasuke looked at Naruto, who had remained silent and thinking. "You may become Kage there, if you want."

Still Naruto did not answer. "I don't know", he finally said. "I have a lot of friends in Konoha. I would not like to leave them behind forever."

"You would not have to", I heard myself say to my own astonishment. "Sasuke, if you really want to found a new town, you can't just choose a spot somewhere and begin to build a town hall and a Kage's tower and a market place and some town walls. It might have been possible in the days of the Shodaime and Uchiha Madara, but it is not any more. You will have to negotiate with Konoha, or rather with the government of the Fire Country, or of any other country where you happen to plan to build your town. You would be well advised not to make yourself too many enemies but to keep good relations to the other villages, most of all Konoha itself. Naruto should be in a position to visit his friends there and be visited by them whenever he wants."

"Yeah", Naruto said. "And maybe some of them will join us. I mean, you'll need more people if you actually want to found a town, not just a village."

He looked at Hinata, Sakura, me, smiled at us, he even included the two Akatsuki members in his smile, and shyly they smiled back.

Sasuke looked at us, too, but he did not smile.

"Maybe", he said. "Anyway, our next step will be Konoha, and if it's only to see that Itachi gets proper treatment, and then we will have to search for Karin's family, and after that, I will take up negotiations about where to set up my town."

His eyes had been restless for some minutes now, and I did not understand why until they finally settled on Juugo, the last of his teammates who had not yet answered him. He did not even seem to have heard Sasuke's speech, because he had been busy explaining to Hinata how to hold his bird in her hand and how to feed it seeds without getting hurt.

"Juugo", Sasuke said softly, "will you follow me again and help me found a new town? I would be glad about it."

Juugo looked up. "I will, if you will have me as your companion."

"Sure we will", Naruto said. "Don't worry, Sasuke, we'll all help you with your town where no child will be unhappy." He embraced him.

I pitied Sasuke. He was excited about this new dream of his and wanted everyone to share his excitement, and his teammates just wanted to relax: Naruto was leaning lazily against him, Suigetsu was again lying in Karin's lap, while she concentrated on combing his hairs with her fingers, and Juugo had again turned to Hinata and his bird.

Maybe it made sense after all that he had allowed his teammates to engage in activities that had nothing to do with their mission, I thought suddenly. He will need young couples if he wants to found a town. Or rather young families.

A town where no child would be unhappy - Naruto's simple words had moved me more than Sasuke's announcement. They'd both been unhappy and lonely, but unlike many people they wanted not to give it on, saying: That's life! but to change things.

A town where no child would be unhappy - Naruto's words had stirred up in me memories of my own childhood which had not been too happy either. I did not often think about it, having somehow found a way to go on living. Maybe I had been too harsh with both boys, I thought, encouraging them to give their best, but not seeing their sorrow. That had been my way to deal with my own sorrow, after all.

A town where no child would be unhappy - it was an unrealistic dream, after all, unlike Sasuke's dream of a town where children were not sacrificed for the well-being of the community. It was not the fault of the people of Konoha that Itachi had murdered his clan, or that my father had committed suicide. It was an unrealistic dream, and still I could not help dreaming.

I looked up from my own thoughts to see Sasuke and Naruto dissolving their embrace.

"Thanks", he said. "It's only a dream now, but with you at my side, I will make sure that it won't remain a dream."

Everybody had been looking at them with the exception of Juugo and Hinata who had been busy with Juugo's bird, and soon we turned our attention to the two of them. Naruto in particular was strangely fascinated.

"You know, Hinata", he said after some time, "I think there's another bird he would love you to caress."

I must admit that she understood him before I did.

"Don't listen to him", she said to Juugo. "He's always been a pervert, even when he was twelve."

"I am not", Naruto replied. "I am just a normal young man."

He leant closer against Sasuke and caressed his chest and his belly. Meanwhile it was fun to see understanding dawn on one face after the other. Sasuke was among the last. I wondered about him - he was obviously very much in love, and still so easily embarrassed.

"Be a bit more careful", he said to Naruto. "I mean, Suigetsu deserves it, but Juugo..."

"Juugo deserves it, too", Naruto said. "Don't you think so?"

Sasuke blushed and lowered his eyes.

"Yes", he answered. "He deserves it too. But, I think, we should leave now, and not bother our friends any more."

Naruto looked at him confusedly. "I don't think we bother them", he said, then he understood and took Sasuke's hands. "But if you think so we may leave." He embraced him very tenderly, caressing his face and his hair, then both got up, and Sasuke led Naruto away to a place where they would be undisturbed and where they would not disturb us.

"Well, that's Sasuke as we know him", Suigetsu said, sitting up. "He's going to spend the night in his lover's sweet embraces, and he makes it appear as if he were sacrificing himself to protect us from Naruto's dirty jokes."

"As if we were begrudging him his happiness", Karin added.

"He'll have to learn to cope with people who like him even if he does not sacrifice himself", Suigetsu continued. "But he will. Actually he has come a long way since we set out."

I began to understand how his team worked and why Naruto fitted in and why it was only natural that their new project should not be this or that mission but founding a new town.

They'll need young families, I thought again.

"We shall go to sleep now, too", Karin announced.

"I would like to have a look at Itachi first", Kisame suddenly spoke up. "He betrayed me, as he has betrayed Sasuke, and he was betrayed in his turn by our leader. And still - we have been partners for quite a few years and I want to see that he's well."

"It's okay", Karin answered. "I wanted to check on him before I went to sleep anyway."

We went over to where Itachi was lying, and Sakura and Karin knelt down at his sides, checking his chakra flow and his life functions while the rest of us stood around them and watched. The two med nins worked together remarkably well. Soon Hinata joined them, aiding them with her Byakugan, and then the female Akatsuki member, whose name we still did not know, sat down as well, taking Itachi's hand and caressing his cheeks.

"We should have never accepted him in our ranks", she said. "He was far too young. He still is. But he had already murdered his clan, and we thought that young as he was he was still a criminal as only a grown-up can be: Unscrupulous and ambitious, thinking only of his own selfish aims. We did not take time to think and realize that he must have been seduced by someone else to commit his crimes and that this someone else was the very person who joined the ranks of our helpers and junior members just at the same time and who in the end betrayed us all. We should have sent him home immediately, so that he would have faced trial, but we longed for his skills. We were all too naive."

We listened in silence to her speech, not knowing what to make of it.

"I hope he'll survive", she said. "To face trial, and punishment, and then perhaps find a better life, just as we all will have to face trial and punishment."

"Nothing is certain at the moment", Karin answered. "We have stabilized his body, but no one knows what will happen when he regains consciousness and remembers everything."

"Sasuke might help out", Juugo suggested. "He knows how to get into people's minds."

Suigetsu shook his head. "It would be torture to both of them. Leave Sasuke alone, he has done more than enough, and he deserves to have some fun now. Itachi will have to recover without his brother's help."

"I will give him some more tranquilizers", Sakura said, "so that his body can stabilize without his mind interfering..."

She began her treatment. I looked at Itachi and wondered if he had indeed gotten better by now: The expression on his face had changed, I thought, he was looking more peaceful now than when we had first found him.

Suigetsu came over to me. "Lots and lots of females fussing over him", he said. "The worst torture Sasuke could ever imagine. Too bad that his brother is actually enjoying it."

Did he smile in his sleep or did I only imagine it?

"I don't think anyone has ever fussed over Itachi", I answered Suigetsu. "He's always been a genius who did not need being fussed over. Sasuke was the cute little kid that got the attention of the females of the family, only when he was his clan's last survivor in Konoha he in his turn became the genius who did not need being fussed over."

"He will need help now, however", Suigestu said. "With his town, I mean. He is too young and inexperienced to pull it off by himself. A strong fighter, but no politician. Besides, it's in the very nature of his dream that he cannot make it come true by himself."

Indeed not, I thought.

"He will need people with common sense", Suigetsu went on. "We will be glad if you join us."

For a moment I thouth I was passing out with happiness and surprise, then I got myself under control again.

"I will - if he accepts me."

"We'll make sure that he does", Suigetsu answered.


End file.
